


Don't Go

by KineticKid



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:38:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 60,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KineticKid/pseuds/KineticKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up when Tara’s leaving after the Tabula Rasa Spell. No Buffy/Spike.  Thereafter it goes different. And the spell will have taken place later in the season than it originally did (if you pay attention to that sort of thing).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tara feels the tears slide down her cheeks as she watches Dawn run back into the house and up the stairs. “Goddess, what next?” Tara murmurs, wiping the tears from her face as she hears the taxi pull up behind her and honk. Turning back, Tara takes a deep breath and picks up one of her boxes. Slowly walking down the stairs, she sets the box in the back seat before dejectedly making her way back to grab her other box, turning around and stopping in surprise at Buffy standing there with her arms crossed across her chest.

“What’s going on?” Buffy questions hoarsely, her eyes taking in the tear tracks on Tara’s face. Sharpening her hearing she hears two more people crying in the house, realizing it has to be Willow and Dawn crying. “And why is everyone crying?” Buffy quirks her eyebrow at the blonde Wiccan.

“I… I can’t.” Tara shakes her head as she shifts and walks around the slayer as she heads back to the car.

“Damn it! Where the hell are you going at roughly midnight?” Buffy growls, jogging after the witch. “Like we haven’t dealt with enough shit today with our memories being taken from us and almost being killed, you packing up and leaving isn’t going to help matters.” Buffy grasps the witch’s arm gently, frowning heavily as Tara flinches hard. Releasing her arm, Buffy shoves her hands in her pockets. “Come on. Whatever it is it can be worked through.” Buffy offers quietly.

“No. No it c-can’t.” Tara shakes her head and sets the box in the back seat, shutting the door before opening the front door to the cab.

“The meter is running.” The cab driver comments looking at the two women.

“Tara…” Buffy calls out softly, her eyes sad as she watches Tara climb in the taxi.

Tara hesitates for a moment hearing something in the slayer’s voice that she hasn’t heard before. Turning to look into sad hazel eyes, Tara’s considers the woman for a few minutes. “I’m leaving W-willow, Buffy.”

“Why?” Buffy questions hoarsely, seeing the pain in Tara’s eyes. “And do you have to leave altogether?”

“I c-can’t stay here with her, Buffy.” Tara shakes her head, her eyes unconsciously looking to the house for a few minutes, before sliding back to Buffy.

“Where are you going to stay?” Buffy hesitantly moves closer to Tara.

“I… I don’t know.” Tara admits, shaking her head. 

“Don’t go, please.” Buffy pulls her hands out and clasps Tara’s hand gently. “You don’t have to stay with Willow, but can’t you stay here? At least until you find somewhere else?”

Tara bites her bottom lip, looking into sad hazel eyes, seeing the need and pain in Buffy’s eyes. Never able to walk away from someone that needs her, Tara sighs quietly. “Help me with my boxes?” 

Buffy doesn’t quite smile, but relaxes from where she’d been unintentionally tight as a bowstring. Not knowing or understanding why, but something inside her making her do whatever she has to, to keep Tara here. Quickly opening the door to the back of the cab, Buffy sets one box on top of the roof of the cab before pulling out the other box. Setting it on top of the other one, Buffy picks them both up as Tara pays the driver while apologizing.

Tara silently follows behind the slayer, the two women walking quietly into the house. Tara stops and shuts the door, locking it behind her as she watches Buffy start up the stairs.

Buffy stops halfway up when she realizes Tara isn’t following her. Turning to look at the Wiccan, Buffy nods her head towards the top of the stairs. “My room, Tara. You can sleep there and I’ll take the couch tonight. That way you don’t have to worry about running into Willow.” Buffy explains softly. 

Tara swallows and nods, slowly following Buffy, stopping as the slayer turns to her and mouths the word ‘wait’. Tara nods and watches as Buffy steps up the last few steps from the landing to the upstairs. Glancing right quickly into what used to be her and Willow’s room before the slayer disappears to the left going down the hallway leading to her and Dawn’s bedrooms.

Buffy breathes out a sigh of relief that the doors to everyone’s rooms are shut. Quickly placing the boxes inside her door before heading back, holding her hand out for Tara’s, smiling gently as Tara’s warm hand clasps hers. Leading the way down the hallway and to her room, she quickly shuts the door behind her, flipping the lock for the time being. “Do you want to talk about whatever is going on?” Buffy questions softly, waving a hand to the bed for Tara to sit down.

Tara sighs quietly, rubbing her face with one hand as she hesitates before sitting down on the edge of Buffy’s bed. “N-not really.” Tara murmurs dropping her hand to her lap and plucking at her pants.

“Avoidance. I can understand.” Buffy mumbles, sighing heavily. “I need to shower… vampire leftovers along with other stuff.” Buffy sighs as she turns to the dresser grabbing out her pajamas. 

“B-buffy…” Tara stares at the disheartened slayer. 

Buffy slowly turns and looks into hurt blue eyes. “Whatever it is, it’ll be just between us, Tara. I promise to keep my mouth shut, if you need someone to talk to.”

Tara nibbles on her bottom lip, looking at Buffy for a long few minutes. “It isn’t fair to y-you, Buffy. You’ve g-got your own p-problems, you d-don’t need me adding to them.” Tara admits sadly. “If you w-would want to m-maybe…” Tara waves her hand back and forth between them.

Buffy clenches her pajamas tightly in her hands as she looks at Tara, before looking down at the floor. “I don’t think you want to hear what I have to say, Tara. It’s pretty raw and hateful, the things going through my mind. Not really something you should hear.”

“Who better? I’m p-part of the r-reason you’re h-here, Buffy. Maybe I sh-should hear what y-you have to say. It’s only f-fair.” Tara murmurs, swallowing hard at the thought of being there with the rest of the group when Willow brought Buffy back here from Heaven.

“Did you actually help, Tara? Or were you just there? From what I’ve heard and understood, it was pretty much all Willow and the rest of you were there as support, not active participants.” Buffy growls lowly, fighting the anger she’s feeling at being here, literally in Hell on Earth. 

Tara whimpers quietly, unconsciously shifting back from the slayer as she feels the anger literally flowing from the woman, something she’s never picked up on before from the slayer. The woman usually keeping all feelings and thoughts locked down tight behind a protective barrier.

Buffy narrows her gaze on Tara as she watches her shift back onto the bed more, almost as if she’s afraid of her. The low whimpers coming from the Wiccan making Buffy fight down her anger, getting control of it, watching Tara intently as the woman slowly relaxes again. “Shit.” Buffy growls, running a shaky hand through her hair. “You’re an empath. Why the hell didn’t you say something? And why am I just now figuring this out?” Buffy grumbles under her breath, wondering how she could know the woman for roughly a year and a half without knowing this about her. 

“N-nobody knows, Buffy.” Tara sighs in relief as the slayer brings her feelings under control. “Usually m-my own mental b-barriers block out the m-majority of people’s f-feelings.” 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Buffy waves her hand around, her eyes sad as she looks at Tara. “And why doesn’t anyone know?”

Tara looks up with pain-filled eyes. “I try to keep that p-part of m-me under l-lock and key, Buffy. People that understand what it m-means always end up n-not w-wanting me around. Th-they are afraid th-that I am a m-mind r-reader or something.”

“You only get extremely strong emotions, right?” Buffy frowns as Tara nods her head.

“I’ve n-never f-felt anything f-from you before, Buffy. You h-have your own b-barriers and w-walls you k-keep your f-feelings behind.” Tara admits running a shaky hand over her head. “You n-need to talk to s-someone, Buffy. The anger is g-going to eat you up f-from the inside if you d-don’t let it out.” 

Buffy grunts quietly and stares at Tara for a few minutes. “I need to shower. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ll knock three times quickly on the door if you wouldn’t mind to let me back in after you lock it behind me.” 

Tara watches as Buffy quickly leaves the room. Sighing quietly, Tara stands and steps to the door, locking it behind Buffy before sitting down to wait for the slayer to come back from the bathroom.

***

Buffy stands under the hot spray after cleaning her body, silently thinking about the blonde in her bedroom. Wondering exactly how much there is to Tara that no one knows. Going over the conversation they’d just had, Buffy starts to frown heavily as it finally registers that the woman had been stuttering badly. Something she hasn’t done in a very long time. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Buffy questions hoarsely, out loud. Taking a deep breath, Buffy silently wonders if she can talk with Tara about the pain and anger ripping through her. About not being able to sleep because when she closes her eyes all she remembers is waking up inside a box and having to dig her way out, Buffy unconsciously looks down at her hands and the pale scars across her knuckles noticeable probably only to her. Reaching down as the water starts to turn cold, Buffy turns it off quickly. Wondering if they should buy a bigger water heater, because that’s the only time she feels halfway warm anymore, is when she’s taking a hot bath or shower.

Quickly stepping out of the shower and roughly drying her body, Buffy runs a towel over her hair and brushes out the tangled mass before brushing her teeth and putting on her pajamas. Sighing heavily, Buffy finally exits the bathroom, listening silently. Thankful all she hears is the quiet of the house. Walking softly up to Dawn’s door, she listens to the soft snores and relaxes before heading down the hallway to Willow’s room. The quiet half snores, half whimpers letting her know that Willow had fallen asleep still crying and was probably dreaming about whatever had happened. Trotting downstairs quietly, Buffy hesitates for a few minutes before grabbing a couple large mugs down and filling them with water. Throwing them in the microwave, she digs around, sighing quietly as she finds the packets of hot cocoa mix and the small marshmallows. As the microwave goes off, she places everything on a small tray along with a couple spoons to stir the cocoa with. 

Quietly walking up the stairs, being careful with the tray, Buffy shifts it to hold underneath with one hand before knocking three times quickly on the door. Easing into the room as the Wiccan opens the door Buffy sets the tray down on her dresser. 

Tara locks the door after Buffy steps in, surprised to see the tray with the hot cocoa on it, turning curious eyes to Buffy.

“Don’t trust myself to make the real stuff. I ran the hot water out, but if you want to freshen up, Wills and Dawn are asleep.” Buffy offers quietly.

Tara debates for a second, before nodding her head willing to put up with the cold water to clean up after spending the time down in the sewer. Grabbing a pair of shorts and a tank top out of her boxes, having only grabbed immediate items that she would need when she packed, Tara heads to the door, hesitating for a moment. “Are w-we going to talk?”

Buffy watches Tara for a few minutes and sighs quietly. “You won’t unless I do, right?” Seeing the slight nod that comes from Tara, Buffy runs a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I guess we’ll talk.”

Tara lets out the breath she’d unconsciously been holding before easing the door open, checking first before hurrying across the hallway to the bathroom. Quickly stripping, Tara pulls the hair bands out of her hair, letting it fall loose before brushing her teeth, giving the hot water heater a few extra minutes before grabbing a new towel and wash cloth, stepping into the shower Tara grabs the shampoo, squirting a dollop into her other hand before working the shampoo through her dry hair. Quickly turning the water on, Tara steps under the cold water letting her hair get wet and her body while she wets the washcloth. Smiling as the water becomes warmer Tara turns it off quickly to save it to rinse with. Working up a rich lather in her hair, Tara grabs the body wash and quickly washes her body, feeling about eighty percent better. Silently praying to the Goddess that she’ll get around to the other twenty percent in time.

***

Buffy opens the cocoa packets and dumps them into the mugs, stirring the hot water until the cocoa dissolves. Unconsciously she listens to Tara in the bathroom while keeping an ear open to the other sounds in the house. 

Buffy looks at the bedroom door as it eases open, Tara coming in with her old clothes gathered in her arms. “Just set them in the hamper until we figure out what we’re going to do.” Buffy offers softly, locking the bedroom door after Tara finishes entering the rest of the way into the room. Picking up the two mugs of cocoa, Buffy hands one to Tara before sitting down at the end of the bed motioning Tara to sit down at the head of the bed. 

Tara sits down gingerly smiling at the bag of marshmallows sitting on the bed. Opening the bag, Tara dumps a handful of the marshmallows in her mug before offering them to Buffy. 

“Thanks.” Buffy dumps some in her cocoa before sipping, looking occasionally at Tara. “Do you want to start?” 

Tara licks her lips and dips her finger into the marshmallow laden cocoa. “Maybe you c-can start. Then I’ll t-talk for a bit as w-we swap back and forth?” Tara offers, looking up at Buffy.

Buffy looks up into blue eyes, a partial smile on her lips. “Making sure I talk, huh?”

Tara blushes and looks back down. “It occurred to m-me that you m-might try to get out of it.” 

“True.” Buffy admits quietly, sighing deeply. “I’m going to try and keep my anger under control, but if I don’t, let me know and I’ll put some distance between us.” Buffy waves to the window, figuring she can open it and climb down like she used to do in the past.

“You d-don’t have to do that, Buffy.” Tara shakes her head, smiling softly at the slayer. “I was j-just so used to not having to have m-my shields up around you, that I automatically l-let them down. I can put them b-back up to where it w-won’t be so strong.” Tara explains quietly.

“But you will get some overflow if it happens again?” Buffy picks up on the Wiccan’s meaning.

“Probably. The anger and pain is literally…” Tara frowns and looks at Buffy. “It’s tearing you apart.” Tara finally whispers softly, looking down.

Buffy watches the blonde as she pales with her words, realizing Tara doesn’t mean it just emotionally, she means literally too. “How can I make it better? I hate being here, Tara! I was warm, comfortable and at peace. I wake up in my fucking coffin, having to dig myself out of my own grave to hell on earth. Everyone wants me to be like I was, but I’m not! I’m fucking pissed and angry at everyone!” Buffy growls angrily her eyes darkening with the anger inside her. “I’m cold and I don’t feel anything else but hatred and anger… or nothing at all.” Buffy finally admits, looking down at her cocoa. Lifting the mug to her lips she finishes it before easing off the bed and placing it on the dresser. Unconsciously standing there, clenching her hands so tightly that her nails dig into her palms.

Tara sets her mug on the nightstand, watching Buffy intently as she slowly lowers her shields, wincing at the emotions flowing from Buffy. The hatred and anger are foremost, but a tendril of fear and worry is buried deep beneath. Watching the blood slowly drip down Buffy’s hands, Tara jumps and crosses the distance between her and the slayer. “Don’t fight me, please.” Tara whispers before slowly wrapping her arms around the tense slayer, holding her tightly against her as she hooks her chin over the slayer’s shoulder. 

Buffy shivers uncontrollably as Tara pulls her back against her. The warmth slowly seeping into her body makes her shake even more. 

“Easy, sweetie. Easy.” Tara whispers softly, continuing to hold Buffy as the slayer shakes harder. Burying her face in Buffy’s neck, Tara slowly starts to cry. “Goddess, what did we do to you? I’m sorry for putting you through this, sweetie. So sorry…” Tara hugs Buffy tighter against her as she continues to cry for the slayer.

Buffy closes her eyes as the Wiccan’s warm tears drop on her neck and her warm breath caresses softly over her skin. The pain she’s feeling is obviously hurting Tara also, Buffy continues to shake as she fights the feelings trying to come through before a hard sob breaks through. “It isn’t your fault, Tara.” Buffy admits, as hot tears streak down her own face as she can almost feel the caring coming from Tara.

Tara loosens her tight grip on Buffy as she feels the slayer’s body start to relax as the tears start to fall from her. Turning Buffy around, Tara hugs her tightly, pressing her lips to the side of Buffy’s face as the slayer practically collapses into her arms. 

Buffy wraps her arms around Tara’s waist as she buries her face in the woman’s neck, allowing the tears to continue to fall, not that she could stop now if she tried.

Tara holds Buffy tightly with one arm while stroking the other hand soothingly over the back of the slayer’s head, closing her eyes as she silently cries with the slayer. Knowing that Buffy’s going to need help getting through this, but not knowing if she is the one to help her… Or if the slayer would even want her help.

Unaware of the time passing, Buffy continues to hold on desperately to Tara, the warmth soothing her more than anything else she’s been able to find. Being touched by anyone or anything something she couldn’t stand since being back.

Continuing to hold Buffy, Tara presses a soft kiss to Buffy’s head as the slayer’s hard sobs slowly taper off, though the slayer’s death grip on her body doesn’t lessen. Slowly moving both of her hands up and down the slayer’s back, Tara frowns at the ribs she feels, knowing Buffy hadn’t been eating well, but not realizing how much weight the woman had lost. Knowing that Buffy could ill afford to lose weight even before with her being so tiny. 

“Thank you.” Buffy whispers as she brushes her cheek over Tara’s shoulder.

“I’m not sure I d-deserve a thanks, Buffy.” Tara whispers just as softly, continuing to run her hands up and down the slayer, taking a shaky breath. “This may not be something you want to hear, but I’m not sorry you’re here, Buffy. I’m sorry that we took you from Heaven, and I’m sorry for the absolute hell you’re living through now. But I’ll n-never be sorry that you’re here. This place needs you in it. As do the people that live here. And… I missed you.” Tara admits as the tears start to flow again even as she buries her face in the slayer’s strong neck.

Buffy holds Tara in stunned silence at the woman’s words. The one person that probably knows her the least out of the group admitting she missed her and refusing to apologize for bringing her back, even though she was obviously sorry for what she’d been taken from. Buffy’s scratchy mind remembers how Tara had called in a panic when she’d realized that Dawn was going to try and bring their mom back. Something slowly settles inside Buffy at that remembrance. “It’s against everything you believe in, isn’t it?”

Tara frowns as she tries to figure out what Buffy’s saying. “I’m sorry, sweetie… I’m not s-sure what you’re asking.”

Buffy slowly eases back, but doesn’t break her hold on the woman. Looking into swollen, red-rimmed eyes, Buffy sighs quietly. “Bringing me back, you didn’t want to do it, did you?” Buffy gets her answer, as Tara looks away, breaking eye contact. “Why did you help?” Buffy questions curiously.

“I didn’t.” Tara whispers as she slowly turns back to look at Buffy. “Goddess help me, I didn’t. I was against it the whole time. Yes, I knew there was a chance that you were in a Hell Dimension, but I also knew there was a better chance that you were somewhere happy and at peace. You’re too good of a person to go anywhere bad. I tried…” Tara swallows and looks up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “Willow said she needed us there, but she didn’t. It was all her.”

Buffy reaches up and strokes a finger gently down the tear stained face, curious at the soft feeling skin. “What did Willow do to you?” Buffy finally questions softly, leaving her finger on the Wiccan’s cheek.

“She did a spell on m-me to t-take away my memories of a f-fight we had… I found out by a c-comment Dawn made.” Tara nibbles on her bottom lip as she frowns at the thought. “Then when I confronted her th-that I knew, she p-promised me to go a month without magic. I t-told her a w-week and then w-we would see.” Tara looks sadly at Buffy. “That was last n-night that she promised me. Today she d-did the spell that backfired.”

Buffy feels a hard knot of anger start to burn in her gut. “Who does she think she is? God?” Buffy snarls angrily as she pulls her hands away from Tara as she starts to pace her room, frowning as she notices Tara flinching as she shifts away from her. “Fuck!” Buffy runs shaky hands through her hair as she tries to get control of her anger. Breathing heavily with the effort of fighting her own emotions, Buffy looks at Tara as the woman slowly relaxes. “Has she ever performed any other spells on you?” Buffy finally questions after a few minutes.

“Honestly?” Tara whispers, looking sadly at the slayer, she slowly shakes her head. “I haven’t a clue. And truthfully… I d-don’t think I’d w-want to know if she d-did.” 

Buffy swallows hard at the words spoken softly but with so much fear. Rubbing both hands over her face, Buffy takes a couple deep breaths before sighing. “Why don’t you lie down, Tara. We’ll figure out something tomorrow.” Buffy slowly makes her way to the bedroom door, surprised when Tara sets her hand on top of her shoulder.

“I’m not kicking you out of your room, Buffy. If y-you d-don’t mind sh-sharing, the bed is b-big enough for b-both of us.” Tara offers quietly, not knowing where the offer’s coming from, but part of her remembering the way Buffy had held onto her as if her life depended on it floats to the surface. 

“I haven’t exactly been sleeping well, Tara. I’d probably keep you awake.” Buffy whispers softly, not turning to look at the woman. 

“If you d-don’t want to share, that’s fine. That’s all you have t-to say. As for n-not sleeping well… I really h-haven’t s-slept well for months, myself.” Tara admits. 

Buffy slowly moves her hand from where it was reaching for the lock on the door and moves it to the light instead. Flicking the overhead light off, she’s surprised as she feels her lip curl up in a half smile at the soft thank you she gets from Tara. Turning she follows Tara to the bed, sliding in after the Wiccan, Buffy reaches up and turns off the lamp. Surprised when she feels a hand gently resting on her shoulder and squeezing.

“Maybe if y-you don’t m-mind, I can t-try holding you to see if it helps you s-sleep.” Tara offers softly.

Buffy slowly nods, realizing her body had already been gravitating towards the heat that was coming from Tara. 

Tara smiles softly as Buffy shifts to lie against her side. As Buffy rests her head on her shoulder while wrapping an arm around her waist, Tara wraps the slayer in her arms and presses her lips softly to her forehead. “Get comfortable, sweetie. Throw your l-leg over me if you want.” 

Buffy grunts quietly, but does as suggested. Rubbing her cheek over Tara’s shoulder, Buffy feels her eyes getting heavy even as the warmth slowly invades her body from the blonde Wiccan. “Thank you…” Buffy whispers as she falls asleep.

Tara whimpers quietly as she presses her lips again to the slayer’s forehead. Stroking her hands gently over the slayer’s arm and back, Tara stares up at the darkened ceiling not knowing what tomorrow might bring, but silently praying that Buffy might feel just the tiniest bit better. That way they can work some more on the slayer and hopefully make things better for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Tara frowns as she feels movement on the bed, slowly dragging her burning eyes open she stares in surprise at a softly smiling Buffy.

“Dawn left for school, and I’m assuming that’s where Willow is also. What classes do you have today?” Buffy tilts her head to look at the blonde.

“Nothing that I really want to go to.” Tara admits quietly, rubbing her gritty eyes as she slowly shifts up in the bed. “How’d you sleep, sweetie?”

“A lot better.” Buffy admits quietly, reaching up to brush some loose hair from Tara’s cheek, gently tucking it behind the Wiccan’s ear. “Can I keep you here? Purely selfish reasons in force.”

“Sleep or food?” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer, her eyes twinkling.

Buffy opens her mouth to say sleep, before closing it and furrowing her brows in contemplation. 

“It isn’t that hard a decision is it?” Tara jokes, tugging on the slayer’s pajama top.

“Nope. Both.” Buffy winks and grasps Tara’s hand, gently tugging her from the bed. “Why don’t you go get freshened up? Then we’ll get the rest of your stuff out of Willow’s room and bring it in here.” Buffy makes it sound more like an order than a suggestion before she quickly disappears out of the room.

Tara stares after the slayer in stunned shock, silently wondering if Buffy meant it in more of a ‘for now’ type thing or more permanent. Shaking her head, Tara grabs a pair of cargo pants, underwear and a top. Deciding a hot shower would feel good right now.

***

Buffy looks at the top and looks at Tara. “Is this yours or Willow’s?”

Tara looks up from where she was finishing pulling her clothes out of the dresser drawers. “Mine, but it was shrunk in a load of wash. Willow wears it now.” Tara murmurs softly, her eyes shadowed.

Buffy grunts quietly and places the item back in the closet, silently wondering if she would be better off to let Tara pick out what items are hers. Going through the rest of the clothes, Buffy pulls out what are obviously Tara’s items and sets them on the bed in her pile while pulling out the questionable items and setting them in another pile so Tara can sort them. Kneeling down in the bottom of the closet, she pulls out the boots that she knows are Tara’s along with the small chest she’d remembered seeing in Tara’s dorm room one of the times she’d visited the Wiccan when she and Willow had first started dating. 

Tara finishes going through all the drawers and looks over to where Buffy’s kneeling in the closet and running her hands over her small keepsake chest. Swallowing hard at the sight of the lost looking slayer, she makes her way over to the woman. “Come on, Buffy. Maybe we should take a break.”

“No. I want you to have your stuff out of here, so you don’t have to come back into this room.” Buffy shakes her head and unconsciously growls at the thought of what Willow had done to the kind blonde.

“Buffy…” Tara starts and stops, not knowing for sure how she wants to ask Buffy about her comment earlier that day. 

Buffy lifts the box and moves it out of the closet before turning to look at the Wiccan. Seeing the confused and worried look on Tara’s face, Buffy quickly closes the short distance between them, grasping Tara’s warm hands in hers, sighing at the feeling of calmness slowly coming into her from Tara. “What is it, Tara?”

“Why do you want me to stay?” Tara finally questions softly, raising her eyes to look into beautiful hazel eyes that are finally starting to show a flicker of emotion in them again. Something besides anger finally coming to life in their depths.

“You let me be me. I yelled and let my anger out, and you let me. You didn’t tell me that everything is going to be perfect and that I should be happy because I’m alive. In a weird sort of way, I think you understand.” Buffy finally admits her eyes distant. “And you aren’t going to try and make everything better, or how you think I should be. If it takes me a week you’ll give me a week, if it takes a year for me to get better I think you would probably give me a year.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need, sweetie. I would love to be able to make the pain, hurt and anger go away. But that’s something only time and you can do. But I promise you, if you want me there, I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Tara offers softly. 

“You’re the only person I can really stand to be around.” Buffy looks at Tara, the pain obvious in her eyes. 

“Were you s-serious about w-wanting me to stay with you?” Tara hesitantly waves her hand towards Buffy’s room.

Buffy’s hands clench tightly as she remembers waking up twice the night before. Both times Tara had whispered for her to go back to sleep that everything would be okay while rubbing her back. Knowing that the Wiccan was still asleep, and even then she was worried about her, making Buffy want to keep her there at all costs. Plus the fact that last night was the first time she’d really felt warm and comfortable since she’d come back. “Yes. Please.” 

Tara reaches up to brush a gentle finger down Buffy’s hollow cheek and nods her head. “I don’t know how well this is going to go over, but if that’s what you want and need, I’m here.” 

Buffy breathes out a sigh of relief even as she leans into the barely there touch. Not caring about what might happen, how it will look or who it will hurt, just knowing she needs Tara to stay.

Tara smiles softly as she hears a quiet rumble coming from Buffy’s stomach. “Make a deal with you. If you don’t mind taking these things and putting them on your bed for me to put up later I’ll run downstairs and throw together an omelet for you.”

“I would assume you meant to say for both of us.” Buffy’s voice is low with warning.

Tara sighs and nods her head. “Okay an omelet for both of us, then.”

Buffy growls a little. “If we’re sharing, better be a big omelet.” Buffy smirks as Tara rolls her eyes. Grabbing some of the items, Buffy heads to her bedroom while Tara mumbles on her way to the kitchen.

***

Tara flips the large omelet, giving it a few extra minutes as she sprinkles some additional cheese on top. Grabbing the toast out of the toaster and buttering it to put on the plate with the others. Sliding the toast onto the island along with the large glass of milk for Buffy and the smaller glass of juice for herself, Tara slides the omelet onto a plate and turns off the stove. Cutting a small section of the omelet for herself, she places it on her plate before calling out to Buffy.

Buffy smiles hearing Tara call her name as she finishes hanging Tara’s clothes up in the closet. “Damn, what is going on with me? And why does just hearing her voice make me feel that much better?” Buffy shakes her head as it occurs to her that spending last night and this morning with the blonde Wiccan has made her the happiest she’s been since being brought back. Pushing those thoughts away for the moment, she trots down the stairs and looks at the large omelet on her plate to the smaller section on Tara’s. “Aren’t you going to need more than that?”

“No. Between the omelet and a piece of toast or two, that’ll be more than enough for me.” Tara smiles softly at the slayer as Buffy settles across from her and grabs her fork to dig in with one hand while reaching for a piece of toast with the other.

Buffy makes quick work of the omelet, not realizing how hungry she was until she’d finished it and the rest of the toast. Downing her milk, she licks her lips and pats her stomach as it seems to be saying a thank you for feeding it. “That was good, Tara. Thanks.”

“Would you like another one?” Tara murmurs surprised to see Buffy eating that much as the slayer usually picks at her food instead of eating it. Smiling as she watches Buffy hesitate before shaking her head, Tara reaches across and squeezes her hand gently. “It won’t take but a couple minutes to throw another one together, sweetie. I already have all the toppings chopped up and in containers in the refrigerator.”

Buffy finally nods her head. “Please, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” Tara shakes her head at the slayer and finishes her last bite of toast before grabbing the eggs and rest of the items out of the refrigerator to make another omelet. “Would you like a couple more pieces of toast, also?”

“I’ll get it.” Buffy stands to walk over to the toaster, placing a couple pieces of bread in it before watching as Tara tosses the fresh mushrooms, diced onions, tomatoes, green peppers and ham into the omelet before liberally sprinkling the cheese over all of it. “Why omelets? I know you usually fix pancakes.”

“Dawnie always wants pancakes.” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer over her shoulder. “I don’t mind making them, but occasionally I want something different to eat.”

“Well, I won’t complain no matter what you fix.” Buffy smiles back at the blonde. Slowly becoming serious, Buffy’s brows furrow as she looks at Tara. “Do you mind staying with me? I just realized I pretty much ordered you to without giving you much of a choice.”

Tara looks in surprise at Buffy before glancing down at the omelet as she considers the slayer’s words. “Do you m-mean in a s-sleeping with you way? A just staying h-here in the h-house with W-w-willow way? Or here period?”

Buffy runs her hand roughly over her forehead at hearing Tara stutter again. The woman had relaxed as the morning progressed and didn’t stutter at all, now it’s coming back full force. Hating the fact of making her uncomfortable, Buffy butters the toast automatically after they pop up. “Pretty much all the above, I guess.”

“I’m n-not going to l-lie, Buffy. Being around W-w-w-willow…” Tara stutters horribly over her ex-girlfriend’s name again. Taking a deep breath to try and settle her nerves, she gently folds the omelet and places the rest of the cheese on top before finally continuing. “It’s g-going to be hard. I’m afraid she’s g-going to th-think I want to get b-back together with her.”

Buffy unconsciously clenches her hands into fists at the thought of Tara and Willow together, not understanding where the streak of fear and anger is coming from, she slowly relaxes. “Do you possibly want to get back together with her in the future?” 

Tara looks sadly at Buffy as she reaches for the slayer’s plate on the island and sighs. “Buffy, I w-wish I could answer that. In the future, I can’t say, all I can say is that r-right now there is no way that I can be with her. I c-can’t t-trust her. It would be s-something that w-would take months, if n-not l-longer for her to re-build. B-but I w-will always w-wonder…” Tara trails off as she turns and slides the omelet onto Buffy’s plate and turns the stove off. Setting the plate on the island, Tara shrugs as she looks at Buffy.

“Can I say something that probably is going to sound worse than I mean it to?” Buffy gently chews on her bottom lip as she looks at the sad Wiccan. As Tara looks at her and slowly nods her head, Buffy places the toast on the island and closes the distance between them to hug Tara. “I don’t want you to go back to Willow.” Hearing the quiet gasp of surprise, Buffy holds Tara in her arms. “That may have come out sounding wrong, but if you can’t trust her, I don’t want you to go back to her just because of your past relationship. Or because you feel like you have to. Only do it if you’re completely comfortable and at ease with her. If you have any doubts, then you don’t trust her completely. And I don’t want to see you hurt again.” Buffy admits softly, her body slowly relaxing into Tara’s as the Wiccan hugs her back tightly and her chin hooks over her shoulder. 

“You know, she’ll p-probably think there’s s-something going on b-between us, if I’m s-staying in your r-room.” Tara murmurs closing her eyes at the feeling of the slayer holding her almost like she never wants to let her go. 

“So?” Buffy mumbles as she buries her face in Tara’s neck and closing her eyes as she soaks up the warmth and caring she can literally feel almost like a physical presence coming from Tara.

Tara blinks in surprise at the single word, before squeezing Buffy tightly. “Eat your omelet, sweetie before it gets cold.”

Buffy smiles at the conflicting actions and words. While Tara’s telling her to eat, she’s holding her even tighter as if not wanting to let her go. Gently patting Tara on the back, Buffy whispers softly. “We’ll get through this together, Tara. I don’t know how or when, but I have faith in you.”

“Us.” Tara mumbles taking a deep breath and releasing the slayer. “Eat, sweetie.” Tara points to the island as she turns and grabs the gallon of milk out of the refrigerator, refilling Buffy’s glass. Putting it back inside the refrigerator, she runs the dishwater.

“I’ll do the dishes, Tara.” Buffy waves her fork at the Wiccan. “Sit down and relax.”

Tara sighs, turning off the water and sitting down at the island watching as Buffy makes short work of the omelet and toast. “I’m probably going to need to make a r-run to the grocery store to stock the refrigerator.”

“I need to visit the bank and see what the finances look like for the house.” Buffy admits quietly, knowing that with everything that happened after her mother died and Glory that things might not be doing that well. The urge to sweep it under the carpet and act like it doesn’t exist going through her, but knowing she can’t put it off any longer.

“I think W-w-willow put all your p-paperwork in the hutch in the dining room.” Tara murmurs softly her eyes sad. “I don’t know what has been handled and done, and not done. But if you want my help, I’m here for you.”

Buffy swallows and nods her head. “Thanks, Tara. All I know is that the majority of mom’s insurance policy went to cover what the medical insurance didn’t when she was in the hospital. I didn’t really do anything else.”

“We’ll work it out, sweetie.” Tara offers quietly as Buffy starts gathering the dishes. “I’m going upstairs to finish up.”

“I’ll be up after doing the dishes. Thanks again for breakfast.” Buffy smiles as she feels Tara’s hand grip her shoulder. 

Tara makes her way up the stairs, turning into Willow’s room as she double-checks it first. Finding a couple hair pieces and one of her shirts, she takes them into Buffy’s room, surprised to see that it looks like Buffy had already put up the majority of the items. Opening the closet, Tara smiles softly at the sight of all of her clothes hanging neatly on one side with the slayer’s on the other. Adding the shirt to the closet, Tara quickly looks through the clothes and sighs when they’re all hers. 

Curiously opening drawers, Tara smiles softly at the sight of her more sensible underwear taking up residence by Buffy’s lack of underwear. Still silently wondering how the slayer can wear g-strings, the thought of the cloth being between her butt cheeks making Tara frown, knowing she doesn’t like it when her panties give her a wedgy, imagining the small scraps of cloth feeling like a permanent wedgy.

Picking up her boxes she finishes putting away what items Buffy hadn’t gotten to, while moving all her magical items to her small chest Buffy had set down in the corner of the room. Silently wondering if the slayer wanted it to stay there, or if she just wanted to wait and make room in the closet for the item.

Kneeling in front of the chest, Tara’s fingers gently touch the different crystals, centering stones and her Book of Shadows that had been in her family for as long as anyone can remember. Opening the book, Tara reverently turns the pages until she comes to where her mom had written in it. Letting her fingers trail over the beautiful writing, Tara sighs quietly. “Oh, mama. I could use your guidance right now.” Tara whispers, tears coming to her eyes as she thinks about Willow the woman she had loved, to the small blonde slayer that has wiggled her way deep into her heart over the past couple years, and with what’s happening now… Tara shakes her head at those thoughts. “She needs a friend, and she’s not interested in anything but friendship.” Tara whispers softly to herself before slowly closing the book and shutting the chest.

***

Buffy settles down at the dining room table with the paperwork from the bank and all the paperwork from the hutch, trying to make heads or tails out of it while Tara finishes putting away the rest of the groceries while throwing a roast in the oven for dinner. Smiling as she remembers Tara running her out of the kitchen and saying she could put the groceries away. 

Running a hand roughly through her hair, Buffy tries to work her way through the mortgage loan papers, becoming more and more confused. Setting them aside, she looks at the balance in the checking account, sighing as she realizes she’s going to have to do something soon. The mortgage payment being automatically taken out, having almost depleted the account, making her close the savings account and transfer the rest of the money into the checking. Tara having insisted on paying for the groceries actually making her breathe a sigh of relief. 

Coming across her mom’s death certificate, Buffy stops as a streak of pain and heartache shoots through her. Swallowing back the tears, she runs a finger over her mother’s name before gently setting it aside. Looking at the bills, Buffy realizes either Tara or Willow had been keeping up with the rest of the bills. Staring at the pile of papers for a few minutes, Buffy finally rests her forehead against the table, feeling a headache coming on from not being able to understand the legal jargon.

*** 

Tara walks into the dining room, stopping at the sight of the obviously confused and hurting slayer. Seeing Joyce’s death certificate sitting by itself at the top of the table with the other piles of papers spread out around the slayer, Tara feels tears coming to her eyes. Gently kneeling beside Buffy, Tara runs her fingers gently through the slayer’s hair. “Want help, sweetie?”

“Please. I don’t know what any of this shit says.” Buffy mumbles, not raising her head. “All I’m doing is giving myself a headache from hell.”

“Shhh.” Tara continues to run her fingers soothingly through Buffy’s hair. “I’ll look through it, honey. I had to d-deal with it b-before myself.” Tara admits softly, leaning up to press a soft kiss on Buffy’s head. Remembering how her father had been completely lost when her mom had died, and she’d had to take care of all the arrangements for everything, her brother being useless and belligerent at the time. Not wanting to think about her controlling father, and how much worse he became when her mom became sick, Tara pats Buffy on the back. “Why don’t you g-go relax while I look through this?”

Buffy nods her head as she slowly lifts it and stands. Walking towards the living room, she stops and looks back at Tara. Seeing the blonde is watching her from where she’s still kneeling by the chair, Buffy searches the sad blue eyes. Not really knowing how to say thanks to Tara, she sighs in relief as Tara smiles understandingly at her. 

Tara silently watches Buffy finally finish leaving the dining room. Feeling the heartache coming from the slayer and the relief that she’s going to stay here and help her, Tara sighs softly. “I’ll be here for you, Buffy. No matter what, as long as you need me, I’m here. Family.” Tara whispers the last word softly remembering how the slayer had welcomed her into their group. 

Slowly standing Tara sits down in the seat Buffy had vacated and picks a pile to start reading over the legal documents and papers.


	3. Chapter 3

Tara runs a hand through her hair as she talks with the lady on the phone, going over a couple points as she takes notes on exactly what needs to be done. Hearing a key in the door, Tara frowns, not knowing what time it is. Surprised when she hears Buffy come trotting down the steps at the same time, before continuing with her conversation trying not to be distracted by what’s going on around her.

***

Buffy looks at the clock, realizing this should be the time Willow gets home from her last college class of the day. Heading downstairs from where she’d been silently thinking about what’s happened since she’d come back and listening to Tara talk with different people on the phone. Trying to think of some way to thank Tara for her help. Not just for her dealing with the paperwork and everything but also for wanting to help her personally. Knowing Tara will stand true to her promise and stay here for as long as she needs her. 

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, her body partially blocking the entrance to the dining room, Buffy glances in at Tara who looks at her worriedly, even as she continues with the conversation.

Willow lets herself in, frowning as she’d skipped a couple classes to look for Tara before finally going to her last class, hoping that maybe Tara would have decided to come back so they could talk. Smiling as she hears Tara’s voice, Willow blinks in surprise as Buffy stands in front of her, blocking her way. Looking around Buffy, Willow smiles as she sees Tara. “Good, you’re here. I looked for you at the college…” 

“She’s on the phone, Willow, doing something for me. I suggest you leave her alone for right now.” Buffy speaks softly, her eyes cold as she stares at Willow as she tries to keep her emotions under control.

“But, I want to…” Willow snaps her mouth closed as Buffy growls and her eyes flash with anger. Feeling a thread of fear streaking through her she unconsciously shifts back a couple feet.

Buffy shakes her head before she moves to stand in front of Tara, keeping an eye on Willow. Listening as Tara says goodbye. Feeling the Wiccan stand and move beside her, Buffy glances at her from the corner of her eye before turning back to look at Willow who’s come forward again.

“Tara, honey. We need to talk. I know that I can get you to forgive me. I’m so glad you came back and you’re here.” Willow steps closer, her eyes opening wide in surprise as Buffy moves closer to Tara.

Buffy steps closer to Tara her hand going to the Wiccan's shoulder, clasping it gently in silent support as she glares at Willow. "No, she's not. She's just a figment of your imagination. For all intents and purposes, Tara left last night as she'd planned. Don't delude yourself with thoughts that she's here, or that she's here for you. As far as you're concerned, Tara left you last night when she walked out that door." Buffy nodded towards the front door Willow had just come through a moment ago. "She left you..." Buffy's eyes narrow dangerously on the redhead as her anger flares. "With GOOD reason! As of this moment there will be no more magical use from you in this house. If I have any inkling, whatsoever, that you are doing magic of any sort, your ass won’t know what hit you until you land outside the door on it.” Buffy turns to look at Tara, her eyes searching surprised blue eyes. “You will know if she’s done something, right?” 

Tara's hand covers Buffy's on her shoulder giving it a grateful squeeze, before nodding her head. “I can tell.”

Willow stands gaping at the slayer in shocked silence, the words not making sense in her head. 'What does she mean Tara isn't here? She's right there, I can see her!' As she listens to Buffy continue while standing protectively by Tara, Willow’s eyes narrow in anger as the slayer threatens her. “You can’t tell me I can’t do magic…”

Buffy growls angrily, stepping towards Willow, her eyes flashing dangerously. 

“Easy, Tiger.” Tara whispers softly, sliding her hand down Buffy’s shoulder to squeeze her forearm. The arm so tense it feels like steel, the anger flowing from Buffy knocking hard against her walls. Turning her gaze on Willow, Tara takes a deep breath to try and calm her own racing thoughts and feelings. “She can tell you what to do, Willow. This is her house. If you want to stay here, you have to abide by her rules.” 

Dawn stops at the top of the stairs, having gotten home a half hour ago, and went directly to her room as Buffy had told her to do her homework and leave Tara alone as she was busy. Dawn had tried to question Buffy about Tara being there, but her sister had told her to leave it alone for now and do her homework. Having started to bitch, she’d quickly disappeared in her room as Buffy turned angry eyes on her. Now listening to what’s going on, Dawn frowns heavily trying to understand.

“Tara?” Buffy questions curiously, her head tilted towards the blonde, but her eyes narrowed on Willow.

“Yes?” Tara’s brows furrow at the questioning tone of the slayer.

“Can you do a protection spell around us, so that way she can’t fuck with anyone?” Buffy questions in her normal tone of voice, not trying to hide anything from Willow. “I’m not going to take a chance that she’s going to try something on you again. If you can do something for the rest of us that would be of the good also.”

“WHAT? I would NEVER do something…” Willow starts angrily, the surprise on her face obvious.

“You wouldn’t?” Buffy snarls, taking the large stride to put her face to face with Willow. “So it was someone else that decided to fuck with Tara’s mind? It was someone else that did the mind fuck on all of us yesterday? I thought you were my friend, Willow. But the woman I knew wouldn’t have done the things that you’ve done. Because of everything we’ve been through, I’m giving you fair warning. Either you live by my rules, or your ass is out of here. Tara is not yours, she is staying here with me and as far as you’re concerned, she’s staying elsewhere. I don’t want you to even acknowledge she’s here in the house. This is the way it will be, it isn’t up for discussion.” Buffy warns softly, the seriousness of her words obvious in her eyes.

Dawn winces at Buffy’s words, Tara’s deciding to leave the night before making a little more sense to her. Feeling a streak of guilt at the way she’d treated the Wiccan, Dawn quietly heads back to her room, having heard all that she wants to hear at this moment.

Willow’s mouth opens and shuts in shock, Buffy having never talked to her like this before. She knows without a shadow of a doubt that Buffy means every word coming out of her mouth. As the slayer’s eyes seem to flash even more with anger, Willow decides self preservation might be for the best right now. Quickly heading up the stairs, she shuts the door behind her as she decides to think about what Buffy said.

***

Tara closes her eyes, but stays quiet as the slayer’s anger grows as she’s talking to Willow. Feeling the pain mixing in with the anger, it takes Tara a moment to realize Buffy’s feeling pain for her. For what Willow had done to her. As Buffy finishes talking and nothing else is said for a few moments, Tara slowly opens her eyes, surprised to see Buffy standing quietly in front of her and Willow gone. Seeing the slayer’s body start to shake, Tara quickly closes the distance between them. “It’s me.” 

Buffy closes her eyes as she hears Tara’s softly whispered words before two warm arms wrap around and pull her against the Wiccan. Shaking uncontrollably with anger, Buffy gently reaches up and pulls Tara’s hands away from her. “I need a few minutes.” Buffy whispers before quickly heading out of the house, leaving the back door open in her wake as she steps out into the middle of the yard, staring up into the late afternoon sky. Trying to get her anger under control, Buffy tenses as she hears someone… No, not someone, Tara. Buffy mentally tells herself, knowing the woman’s tread. 

“You can’t keep trying to lock it away, Buffy.” Tara whispers softly from the doorway as she looks at the taut slayer, watching her worriedly. 

“Yes, well… right now the anger is so bad, I know you’re probably getting a major dose and I don’t want to do that to you.” Buffy admits between clenched teeth, keeping her back to Tara.

“It’s my decision, Buffy.” Tara steps outside the door, standing on the porch. “Yell, scream, throw something… I don’t know what, but let it out! You can’t continue like this, Buffy.” Tara warns as she finally allows herself to see the slayer’s aura, frowning heavily at the anger and pain flowing heavily through her being. Biting her lip at the sight of the slayer’s disjointed soul everything just slightly out of alignment. 

Buffy growls, roughly rubbing her face as she stares at the wood fencing surrounding the yard. Shaking with anger Buffy presses her palms into her eyes as she finally collapses to her knees. Crying out in anger, she starts to slam her fists into the ground time after time after time.

Tara flies off the porch sliding to the ground behind Buffy as the slayer keeps hitting the ground, the anger flaring brightly and slamming into her even with her shields full force. Fighting through the pain and hurt coming from Buffy, Tara wraps her arms around the slayer’s waist and buries her face in her hair. “Let it out, honey. Let it out.” Tara whispers softly as she’s buffeted by Buffy’s anger and pain, closing her eyes tightly as the tears slip between the lids. Sending the slayer her calmness and caring, hoping that some of it might make a difference, she holds on desperately to the woman continuing to hit the ground.

Buffy cries out loudly as she finally collapses, her hands swollen, sore and bloody. The anger gone for the time being, replaced by hurt, it taking a few minutes to feel Tara’s love slowly seep into her as the Wiccan shifts and pulls her into her lap, holding her tightly as she cries.

Tara tucks her chin over Buffy’s head as the slayer curls up in a ball on her lap. The heart wrenching sobs coming from the slayer tearing at her heart. Gently rocking Buffy back and forth, Tara presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. 

Buffy grabs hold of Tara’s shirt, burrowing into the woman’s comforting embrace. Unaware of the time passing as she slowly calms down and the sobs turn to shuddering breaths. Slowly everything comes down to the warm body she’s pressed against and the calm, soothing hands running over her.

Feeling the anger and pain lessen as the slayer calms down, Tara continues to hold and soothe the slayer as she presses soft kisses to the woman’s head. Tuning back into her aura, Tara sighs in relief as some of the anger has lessened, but noticing the slayer’s soul is still disjointed, knowing it’s going to take time for it to heal. Slowly Tara sets her mind to think of ways to help Buffy.

Buffy’s hands clench Tara’s shirt before her fingers shift and clench the Wiccan’s waist gently, finally opening her eyes. “Sorry.”

Tara shakes her head and presses her lips again to Buffy’s head at the slayer’s scratchy word. “I’m not accepting sorry’s, honey. I just want to help you get b-better, if you’ll let me.

“How?” Buffy finally questions, her throat raw with tears as she slowly unwinds herself but wraps an arm around the Wiccan. The warmth she craves coming into her from the blonde. 

“I’m not sure, but this is a good start. When you’re up for it maybe some meditations that I know might help you.” Tara offers softly, running her fingers gently through the slayer’s hair as Buffy shifts and gives her an actual hug. 

“I’ll try anything.” Buffy admits softly, hugging Tara gently. “Thank you for this.”

“Honey, I want to help.” Tara admits quietly. “All I ask is that you let me.”

Buffy slowly nods against Tara’s neck, sighing quietly. 

Tara gently runs her fingers through Buffy’s hair and over her back to help calm the slayer a little more. “Honey, let’s get you inside so I can clean your hands.”

Buffy whispers softly, feeling drained. “Okay.”

Tara helps Buffy to stand before standing herself, the two women heading into the house.

***

Willow stares out the window, watching Buffy, her brows furrowed as she sees the obvious anger coming out of her friend as she collapses to the ground and starts to slam her fists into the ground. Swallowing hard at the realization that Buffy’s obviously hurting more than she’s let anyone know, Willow watches as Tara runs and grabs Buffy, wrapping the slayer in her arms and dragging her into her body as she rocks her gently, obviously trying to calm and help her.

Resting her forehead against the window, Willow lets the tears flow as she finally sees what Tara had obviously seen. That everything is not right with Buffy. Not just the fact that she’d brought her back from heaven, but when she did, she broke something in the slayer. Not knowing what to do, but knowing that her help isn’t wanted right now, Willow closes her eyes as she questions everything that she’s done. Silently wondering what else she’s screwed up and how it’s going to come back to haunt her. And worse yet, haunt the people she loves.

Silently sending thanks to Buffy as she realizes the slayer had kept Tara from leaving the night before. Opening her eyes, Willow watches as Buffy practically wraps herself around Tara while Tara continues to comfort the slayer. Feeling a streak of jealousy work its way through her, Willow tries to shake it off as she turns her back on the window and the display in the back yard. Looking, really looking at the room for the first time, Willow realizes that all the little odds and ends that were Tara’s are gone. Slowly opening the drawers, Willow quietly closes them before gradually moving backwards until she collapses on the bed. 

Looking up at the ceiling, Willow silently questions whether or not she can stay in the same place Tara’s in if they’re not together. But not knowing how she can’t not be near the woman as Tara has been a very important part of her life. 

Rolling over onto her stomach, Willow grabs one of the pillows and pulls it under her head and cries quietly into it while searching her thoughts and soul for what she should or shouldn’t do.


	4. Chapter 4

Tara finishes gently cleansing Buffy’s hands, glancing up occasionally at the slayer who seems to be distracted. Gently wrapping gauze around the knuckles, Tara tapes the gauze down and brushes a finger gently down Buffy’s cheek. “All cleaned and bandaged.”

Buffy blinks and slowly comes back from where she was thinking about Willow, Tara and what happened between the two women. Focusing in on Tara, she looks into the caring blue eyes. Gently brushing the back of her fingers over Tara’s cheek, Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tara smiles back, happy for the slayer’s reaching out for human touch, but knowing it’s going to take a lot more before Buffy hopefully becomes more herself. “I probably should check on dinner. Do you…” Tara stops and looks towards the stairs before looking back at Buffy. “Do you mind if I g-go on patrol with you tonight?” Tara finally questions hesitantly.

Buffy looks in surprise at the Wiccan, her brows furrowing as she tries to figure out why Tara would want to go, before realizing that she probably doesn’t want to be in the house with Willow basically alone with only Dawn close by. Nodding her head, Buffy sighs quietly. “Yes you can. But you have to be careful.”

“I will.” Tara breathes a little easier, relaxing as Buffy gives her permission. Closing the first aid kit, Tara quickly heads to the kitchen to put the kit away and check on dinner as she thinks about the slayer. Sighing quietly at how one moment it’s almost as if Buffy’s reaching out for something, and the next afraid to reach for it. Pulling the roast out Tara checks to make sure it’s done before turning the oven off. Pulling down plates and silverware, she sets the dining room table slowly as she considers Buffy a little more.

“Let me do this.” Buffy offers, wincing as Tara jumps. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Tara places a hand over her chest and smiles at the slayer. “That’s okay. It’s not your fault. I was a little lost in thought. Thank you.” Tara nibbles on her lip as she watches Buffy finish setting the dining room table, surprised when she places a plate at the other end of the table away from the other three settings, before realizing she’s probably planning on keeping Willow as far away from her as possible. Heading back into the kitchen, Tara grabs down glasses, setting them on the island before pulling out the salad she’d fixed earlier along with a couple salad dressings and butter. Turning around, she grabs the loaf of French bread she’d bought, slicing it quickly and placing it in a basket. 

“What do you want to drink?” Buffy questions softly as she fills her glass with milk.

“Water will be fine, thank you.” Tara places the roast on the platter and works on slicing it before pulling out the potatoes and carrots from the pan. 

Buffy takes the two glasses to the dining room, before calling up the stairs. “Dinner’s ready!” Heading back to the kitchen, she takes the platter from Tara and heads into the dining room.

Tara shakes her head at Buffy before grabbing the large bowl of salad and the bread, carrying it into the dining room.

“Fix your drink.” Buffy orders Dawn as she grabs the dressings and butter before walking back to the dining room. Quirking an eyebrow as Willow slowly comes in. “Your glass is in the kitchen. Get what you want to drink.”

Willow slowly nods her head and glances quickly towards Tara before heading into the kitchen. Willow fills her glass with soda, as she wonders how hard it’s going to be to be living with Tara, but not being with the Wiccan. Taking a deep breath, she decides to wait and see what’s going to happen. Buffy’s threatening her scaring her more than she believed possible, the slayer never having done that before. Silently hoping that Tara will come back to her, but knowing she’s going to have to straighten her act up for real this time. 

Buffy settles down at the head of the table, reaching over and pulling Tara’s chair a little closer to her before the Wiccan sits down.

Tara quirks an eyebrow at the slayer in surprise before she settles in the chair when Buffy just looks at her. “Thank you.” Tara whispers as Buffy hands her the platter. Quickly placing a small piece of meat, a couple potatoes and carrots on her plate she slides the platter down to Willow. Turning back, smiling at the sight of Buffy having already filled both of their bowls with salad. 

Dawn watches as everyone quietly eats, not saying anything. The silence unusual since usually at least Tara and Willow would talk and joke as they discussed different College classes or talking about the last big bad. Sighing quietly, Dawn pours some salad dressing on her salad as she settles in to eat dinner.

“Do you have any homework, Dawnie?” Tara questions softly, looking at the teen.

“I finished it earlier.” Dawn smiles briefly at Tara before her eyes slide to Buffy who’s eating quietly, but her eyes shift between the three other people at the table, stopping more often than not on Tara and Willow with varying emotions crossing her face. 

“Good. If you don’t mind could you do the dishes? I’m going out on patrol with Buffy tonight.” Tara explains as she looks again at Buffy for a few minutes, being caught by hazel eyes watching her intently. 

“Why do I…” Dawn starts to whine, until she’s interrupted by a dark stare coming towards her from Buffy. Dropping her eyes to her plate, she shuts up.

“Maybe because Tara cooked dinner, and usually does the majority of the laundry and cleaning around the house. It wouldn’t hurt if someone else occasionally helped out.” Buffy growls as she looks at Dawn before her eyes shift to bore into Willow’s eyes. 

Willow pales slightly before nodding her head. “I’ll help you, Dawn. It won’t take long with both of us working on them.” Willow sighs quietly as Buffy finally looks away. Surprised Buffy had noticed Tara doing the majority of things around the house, though honestly she didn’t even think about it. Tara just usually did the majority of everything without comment, realizing she’d become used to Tara working around the house and taken advantage of her that way, also. Sighing quietly, Willow pokes at the few bites of her meal left on the plate, her hunger having disappeared. 

Buffy places another piece of meat and some vegetables on her plate, surprised as her hunger seems to have returned today, but not questioning the fact. Accepting the bread from Tara, Buffy places a slice on her plate before setting the basket back down. 

Tara finishes her salad before standing, gathering her dishes to take into the kitchen. Going the other way to head up the stairs and prepare for patrol. 

Buffy finishes eating her dinner in silence while Willow and Dawn gather their dishes, taking them into the kitchen a few minutes after Tara had left. Downing her milk, Buffy gathers her dishes and takes them to the kitchen, setting them on the counter before heading upstairs. 

Tara smiles at the soft knock and Buffy saying it’s her. “Come on in, Buffy.” Tara calls as she finishes pulling a pair of her older cargo pants on.

Entering the room, Buffy shuts the door behind her before glancing towards Tara. “If you don’t want to go on patrol, I can drop you by Xander and Anya’s until I finish.”

Tara shakes her head, glancing up at the slayer as she finishes zipping and buttoning her pants. “No, Buffy. I honestly don’t mind going with you on patrol. Do you n-not w-want me to go?” Tara questions hesitantly, stopping from where she’d been pulling on her boots, looking up worriedly at the slayer. “I’ll s-stay here, if you w-would prefer m-me not to go.”

Buffy unconsciously steps closer to Tara, placing a hand on her shoulder as Tara starts to stutter badly. “No, Tara. Company probably would be a good thing. I don’t mind.” Buffy gently squeezes Tara’s shoulder before opening the closet and pulling out a couple stakes and knives, tucking them away in her jeans. Grabbing a couple other stakes, she hands them to Tara automatically before pulling down a light jacket to hide her short sword. 

Tara smiles as she tucks the additional stakes away in her side pockets. Reaching behind her, she grabs her fanny pack and puts it around her waist before grabbing the bottles of holy water Buffy had set on the dresser. Tucking them away in other pockets, Tara nods her head at the thought she really should pick up more of these pants. Besides being comfortable, they had plenty of pockets to hide stuff away in.

“Tara?” Buffy questions hesitantly, looking at Tara after she finished getting ready to go on patrol.

“Yes?” Tara frowns as she looks at Buffy. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you…” Buffy looks at her room, the small knick knacks placed here and there that belong to Tara making her smile briefly. Looking back at Tara, Buffy shrugs. “Do you mind sharing my room? I mean, I can sleep on the floor or down on the couch, if you don’t want to share…” Buffy hesitates and waves a hand to the bed.

“I’m not kicking you out of your b-bed, Buffy.” Tara looks at the item in question. “You slept better with me b-being here last night, right?”

“Yes.” Buffy whispers softly after a few minutes.

“We can share, if you want. I don’t mind, Buffy.” Tara smiles crookedly at the slayer. “If anyone should, I figured it would bother you.”

“Huh? Why?” Buffy blinks in confusion at Tara.

Tara holds up her hand and waves it around before pointing at her own chest. “I’m a lesbian, Buffy. Remember? I would say most straight women might be a little… worried about sharing a bed with me?”

Buffy quirks an eyebrow in silent contemplation before shaking her head. “Tara, you wouldn’t take advantage of anyone.” Buffy allows a small mischievous smile to cross her face before continuing. “Of course, sleepy groping might end up happening in the middle of the night, but I’m sure it can be overlooked.”

Tara blushes lightly before noticing the glint in Buffy’s eye. Biting the side of her mouth, Tara allows an answering smile to cross her face. “So, I’m allowed to grope as long as it’s the middle of the night and supposedly while half asleep?”

Buffy opens the door to the bedroom, allowing Tara to exit before her, whispering as the blonde walks by. “Who said you would be the one doing the groping?”

Tara stops dead in her tracks, her eyes opening wide in shock at Buffy’s whispered words, when the slayer chuckles she turns to look at her.

Buffy shrugs and grins at Tara. “Just giving you fair warning.”

Tara groans quietly as she blushes darkly. “Don’t do it while I’m asleep.” Tara warns before heading towards the stairs, jogging down them lightly.


	5. Chapter 5

Buffy tilts her head as she wonders what Tara meant by that comment. Jogging after her, Buffy calls out to Dawn and Willow. “We’re leaving. We’ll be back later.” Buffy closes the door behind her as she catches up with Tara who’s already on the sidewalk. “What will happen if you’re asleep?”

Tara tucks her hands in her pockets and looks down at the concrete as they make their way towards town. “Some people sleep walk, other people talk in their sleep, I k-kind of…”

Buffy blinks and turns to look at the darkly blushing blonde. “Tara! Are you telling me you’re a lovemaking machine while you’re asleep?”

“Sort of.” Tara glances quickly at the grinning slayer before dropping her eyes back to the sidewalk in front of her. “I r-respond and my f-fingers do some serious walking if I’m given the right incentive. I’ll usually end up w-waking up, but it has been known to take a while.”

Buffy considers Tara’s words as they make their way to the first cemetery, automatically turning into it, Buffy pulls a stake as she makes her way subconsciously to one of the new graves. Leaning against a tombstone, waiting for the vampire to rise, she looks over at Tara watching Tara’s back as she looks around, making sure there aren’t any other vampires or demons nearby. “Well, I’ll try not to grope you while you’re sleeping so you won’t be embarrassed.” Buffy finally comments watching as Tara slowly turns to look at her. 

“Are you a groper?” Tara questions curiously.

“Not normally.” Buffy smirks as Tara frowns at her. Chuckling at the look, Buffy reaches down and yanks the vampire from the ground, staking him before he has a chance to do anything. Striding over to the other grave Buffy lets this vampire finish climbing out before fighting him.

Tara purses her lips as she watches Buffy fight the vampire, trying to figure out what the slayer is saying and not saying. Figuring Buffy’s just picking on her, Tara relaxes trying not to think of Buffy touching her in a sexual way, having to admit the woman is beautiful. Knowing she loves Buffy and has ever since the slayer had said she was family. But loving someone and being in love with someone is two different things. Sighing softly, Tara follows Buffy as they continue on patrol after the slayer finally stakes the vampire.

***

“Tara, I’m okay!” Buffy hisses quietly as the Wiccan gently, but inexorably pushes her towards the bathroom. Trying to be quiet and not wake up either Dawn or Willow. 

“Humor me.” Tara growls softly into the slayer’s ear as she finally gets Buffy into the bathroom. Turning around, Tara quickly shuts and locks the door. “Now strip, slayer.” Tara orders as she grabs the first aid kit from under the sink, setting it on the vanity. 

Buffy growls quietly at the Wiccan before slowly working her shirt off, wincing as the cloth sticks to her wound. 

“I would have been able to handle him, Buffy. You didn’t have to dive in front of me.” Tara murmurs quietly as she thinks about the slayer’s selfless act when the demon had turned to attack her, ignoring the slayer.

“I couldn’t be positive of that, Tara.” Buffy watches as Tara turns to her with a washcloth she’d run under the water and squirted a small amount of body wash on. 

Tara turns and frowns at the sight of the slayer’s ribs and abdomen. The wound shallow over Buffy’s ribs, but getting deeper as it went over her abdomen. “Do you want to sit down?” Tara questions worriedly, her eyes rising to look into hazel eyes. As Buffy shakes her head, Tara sighs quietly. Ignoring the slayer’s naked upper chest, Tara starts just below her breast where the cut starts and gently washes the wound, wincing in commiseration as she hears the slight inhale coming from Buffy as she pulls out a piece of cloth. Tara glances up at the slayer. “I’m sorry.”

Buffy shakes her head and takes a couple shallow breaths. “How bad is it?”

Tara finishes cleaning the wound as gently as possible. “You need stitches in the worst of it.” Tara admits quietly. “Do you want to shower then lie down so I can stitch you? Or do you want to forgo the shower tonight?”

Buffy frowns in thought, knowing she’s dirty but between the blood loss and the extreme tiredness working through her body, she’s afraid she’ll fall asleep before she finishes cleaning herself. “Maybe just a quick wipe down with the washcloth.”

Tara nods and hands the washcloth to Buffy. “Hold this, honey.” Tara orders before moving the chair behind Buffy. Moving back in front of the slayer, Tara quickly and efficiently unbuttons and unzips the slayer’s pants, grinning crookedly at the squeak coming from Buffy. “Do you really want to bend over to take off your clothes and shoes?”

Buffy clenches her jaws at the question before slowly shaking her head no, knowing that the pain would probably be too much for her right now. Watching Tara as the blonde slowly slides her jeans and panties down her legs, quirking her eyebrow as Tara kneels in front of her. 

“Sit, honey.” Tara whispers as she works on untying Buffy’s boots. After the slayer gingerly sits down, she pulls the boots off, quickly followed by the socks and the rest of Buffy’s clothes. “Wash what you can reach without hurting yourself, and I’ll be back in a minute to finish what you couldn’t reach.” Tara gently squeezes Buffy’s knee before standing and heading towards the door. 

Buffy watches as Tara unlocks and opens the door, sliding out of the bathroom and shutting it behind her. Reaching over the short distance to the sink, Buffy runs more water over the washcloth and squirts more body wash on it before washing her face and neck, slowly working her way down her body as she hears Tara coming back into the room. 

Tara sets her large t-shirt beside the first aid kit before grabbing another wash cloth and preparing it, settling on the floor to gently wash the slayer’s feet and work her way up the slayer’s legs. “After I help get you cleaned up, do you want me to fix you a couple sandwiches?” Tara questions softly, not looking up at the slayer, trying to keep her eyes averted from the slayer’s body whenever possible. 

Buffy blinks after a few moments, hearing Tara, but the question not sinking in as she washes her body while watching as Tara keeps her eyes downcast and on the body part in front of her. Knowing that she should be embarrassed at the thought of Tara helping wash her, but realizing the Wiccan was trying to make this the least embarrassing as possible. As Tara’s question finally sinks, in, Buffy shakes her head slightly. “I don’t think I’ll be awake long enough to eat them, maybe something to drink though.”`

Tara nods and stands, letting Buffy finish cleaning her lower body as she turns away from the slayer, rinsing the washcloth in the sink. “If you stand up, I’ll wash your back for you.”

Buffy groans quietly as her stomach pulls when she stands. She gently presses the washcloth still in her hand to the wound that had started bleeding a little more freely when it pulled as she stood. 

Tara turns and frowns at the sight. “Quick wash.” Tara steps behind Buffy and shifts the chair out of the way before gently washing the slayer’s surprisingly long back and quickly wiping the cloth around the slayer’s muscular butt cheeks. Turning back to the sink, Tara rinses the cloth thoroughly before turning back to wipe Buffy’s body down quickly to get the majority of the soapsuds off. Gently drying her, Tara tucks the towel around her and drops the t-shirt over Buffy’s shoulder. “Go lay down in the bed, I’ll come up with some juice for you to drink along with a couple pain pills then I’ll fix the cut.” Tara orders quietly, nodding her head towards the door before turning back to the first aid kit to get out a couple of the suture kits, quickly tucking them in a pocket. 

Buffy stares at Tara’s back for a few minutes, the woman’s gentle touches, and caring obvious, never realizing the woman has a backbone of steel before, metaphorically speaking. Buffy tilts her head a soft smile crossing her face at the fact. But seeing the stubborn streak along with the woman’s determination was now something to behold. Gingerly making her way out of the bathroom, Buffy crosses the hall to her bedroom to wait for Tara to finish helping her. Knowing that the woman will do whatever she deems necessary to help her. 

Tara exhales quietly as Buffy finally leaves the bathroom. Dropping her chin to her chest, Tara closes her eyes as she fights the feelings that had come to the surface while washing Buffy. Silently berating herself for the surge of love that had come to the surface, along with a slight feeling of arousal as she’d washed the hurt slayer. Silently calling herself every kind of fool Tara growls quietly. ‘It isn’t bad enough I literally have just left Willow for screwing with me and everyone else, but now I have feelings surfacing for her best friend. Her very straight and hurting, best friend that has insisted on my staying here.’ Tara mentally castigates herself as she cleans up the bathroom before hurrying out and down the stairs to pour a large glass of orange juice for Buffy, knowing that the juice would be best for the slayer with the blood she’d lost from the wound. Tucking the bottle of pain pills into a pocket, Tara sighs quietly. 

Quickly turning off the lights, Tara jogs up the stairs and gently pushes the door to the bedroom open, closing the distance to Buffy and handing the slayer the juice. “Drink this.” Tara turns back to the door, shutting and locking it before pulling out the suture kits, setting them on the nightstand as Buffy sips her orange juice with no argument. Grabbing the pain pills from her other pocket, Tara hands three to the slayer before setting the bottle on the nightstand also. Running a hand shakily through her hair, Tara turns to the dresser and grabs her tank top and shorts to wear to bed, setting them on top of the dresser.

“You realize you could just put some butterfly bandages on my stomach, come tomorrow morning it’ll be healed enough to just need a bandage.” Buffy comments softly. “You’ll just have to take the stitches out tomorrow afternoon sometime.”

Tara plays with her shorts without turning to face Buffy. “Which would you prefer? I’m more worried about you possibly t-tossing and turning, possibly splitting it back open where the stitches would keep it together.” 

Buffy sips some more on the orange juice, while pressing gently against her wound with the washcloth she’d never put back in the sink. Knowing the bleeding had slowed down again. What Tara’s saying has merit, but hating to have the woman poke her with the needle and thread, not knowing how Tara would react to that.

“I’ll do whatever you wish, Buffy.” Tara finally whispers, grabbing her clothes and stepping towards the door. “I’ll go change and grab the first aid kit, just in case while you think about it.”

Buffy sighs softly as Tara leaves the bedroom. Sipping quicker at the orange juice, she has to admit it tastes pretty good and is making her feel a little better not wanting to admit to Tara that she was starting to get a little lightheaded. Leaning back slightly, Buffy untucks the towel before she gently eases the washcloth away from her stomach and looks at the wound. “Fuck.” Buffy grumbles at the depth of the wound, knowing that it should be stitched. Setting the glass down, Buffy grabs one of the suture kits. Gingerly moving to lie on the bed, Buffy places the towel more or less around the wound while setting the suture kit beside her on the bed. Figuring Tara could use it to wipe away whatever blood might still be oozing when she stitches her body. 

Buffy turns to look at Tara as the Wiccan whimpers quietly as she shuts the door, having obviously turned to face the door after seeing her lying on the bed naked. 

“Let me…” Tara waves her hand and hurries to the dresser, pulling a pair of her shorts out, figuring they’ll be easier to slide up the slayer’s body. Not thinking she could handle dealing with the slayer’s naked body while stitching the wound closed. The breasts she could handle, but looking at the slayer’s dark trimmed curls was a different matter. 

“I would have thought it’d make me more uncomfortable than you to be like this.” Buffy quirks an eyebrow at the blushing blonde. “I mean, it isn’t like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.”

“I haven’t seen you before, Buffy.” Tara comments softly, her eyes darting up to the slayer’s hazel eyes. “And no matter who you are, I d-don’t think you w-want to be ogled while practically b-being on display.”

“I’ve never gotten that vibe from you, Tara.” Buffy offers quietly watching as Tara quickly slides the shorts up her body. Lifting her hips as Tara looks away as she slides them the rest of the way up. Seeing the questioning look in Tara’s eyes as the Wiccan looks up at her, Buffy sighs. “You don’t make me feel like a piece of meat being put on display, Tara. You were just helping a friend that’s in need.”

Tara blushes darker, but her own need for honesty has her shaking her head at the slayer. “Yes, I did it for a friend that needs help. But I have t-to b-be honest, Buffy.” Tara inhales deeply to try and get control of thoughts. “You’re a b-beautiful w-woman, Buffy. Plus you h-have that whole s-superhero thing g-going for you… Then there’s the fact that you’re a w-wonderful, c-caring person. Everyone’s f-fantasy. Men and w-women alike.” Tara admits quietly. “And I am very much a red-blooded Lesbian, Buffy.”

Buffy blinks in surprise at Tara’s admittance. Watching the Wiccan for a few long moments, Buffy finally chuckles softly. “So being a superhero does it for you, huh?” Buffy makes light of the Wiccan’s comment, trying to put Tara at ease while a part of her mind works on dissecting Tara’s words and coming up with questions and thoughts of her own.

Tara stares at Buffy for a few minutes in stunned shock. Slowly relaxing as she realizes Buffy isn’t going to become upset with her or freak out, Tara smiles uncertainly at the slayer. “I think it’s more the p-person than the superhero, but I won’t argue the point.” Looking at the suture kit, Tara opens the item and quickly prepares to stitch Buffy’s wound. “Are you ready?”

“Go ahead, Tara.” Buffy comments softly, closing her eyes as she tries to think about anything but the feeling of the needle piercing her stomach.

Tara quickly works on placing the stitches while gently wiping what blood was oozing from the slayer’s wound. Occasionally Tara glances up at the slayer, her eyes searching the woman’s countenance for any clue as to what she is thinking before going back to the task at hand. Quickly finishing the stitching, Tara gently wipes the slayer’s stomach again, frowning at the ribs showing and the smallness of the woman. Sighing quietly, Tara gathers the dirty towel and washcloth, gently laying them over the edge of the hamper before grabbing the bandages and tape.

Buffy watches Tara intently as the blonde Wiccan settles back down on the bed beside her and places the large bandage over her wound, gently taping it down. “Thank you, Tara.”

“You’re welcome.” Tara answers equally as soft. “Do you want to put the shirt on, or not worry about wearing it?” Tara questions after standing, turning the overhead light off before looking back at Buffy, swearing she sees an almost mischievous smile crossing the slayer’s face.

Buffy fights the smile trying to cross her face as she looks up into questioning blue eyes. “Depends.”

“On what?” Tara quirks an eyebrow at the slayer, having a feeling that Buffy’s going to say something to embarrass her.

“On whether or not you’re planning on doing some sleepy groping… I’d rather have the real thing than through the cloth.” Buffy waves a hand at her bare chest, before chuckling quietly as Tara’s face becomes beet red. 

“I’m putting that comment down to the fact that the pain pills and loss of blood have made you loopy.” Tara mumbles as she turns off the light before hurrying around to the other side of the bed and easing under the covers. “Do you want the covers over you?” Tara questions as she grabs the covers that Buffy had flipped over to her side of the bed when she’d gotten into it.

“Please.” Buffy accepts the covers and tries to get comfortable, knowing she won’t be able to curl up like she did the night before, at least not without some pain involved. 

Tara feels Buffy fidgeting beside her, silently waiting for Buffy to move closer to her. Turning on her side, Tara looks at the slayer in the dark room, the moonlight lighting the room enough for her to make out the slayer’s features. “Would you like me to come closer and hold you?” Tara finally questions quietly after a few minutes.

Buffy bites her lip even as her head nods slightly, not wanting to voice her wants and needs out loud, breathing a sigh of relief as Tara shifts closer to her and carefully wraps an arm around her waist while pressing her head gently against her shoulder. Moving her arm slightly, Buffy wraps it around Tara and closes her eyes as Tara moves closer against her, the Wiccan’s head nestling gently on her shoulder even as she feels the warm breath caressing over her upper chest. 

Tara smiles as she feels Buffy relaxing and her breathing deepen noticeably as she quickly falls asleep. Allowing her lips to brush gently over Buffy’s upper chest, Tara wiggles slightly and slowly follows the slayer into a decent night’s sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy looks down at the small leather braided ring, glancing back up at Tara questioningly.

“I can’t make anything to keep her from using magic on us completely, but th-that’ll block any m-memory tampering spells.” Tara explains softly. “The ingredients n-needed to keep her from b-being able to d-do spells on us… Expensive.” Tara finally admits quietly. 

Buffy slides the item on her middle finger and nods her head in understanding. Tara had been staying in her room for the past week, the two women slowly becoming closer. Thankful Willow had obviously taken Buffy at her word and was being on her best behavior as far as anyone was aware. Though the redhead disappeared frequently and more often than not didn’t always come home each night. When Tara had told her that Amy the Rat was no longer in her cage, Buffy had questioned her about it. Surprised when Tara whispered that she thinks Willow was finally able to turn the young woman back into her human form.

“Dawn’s staying at a friend’s house tonight, and since you were able to contact the mortgage company sending everything Next Day Air to them, we don’t have to worry about the mortgage anymore. So, would you consider spending some of the expected refund money on dinner out?” Buffy questions softly, looking up at the blonde Wiccan that has pretty much spent every moment with her when she wasn’t in class. Helping her to slowly come to terms with being back here and helping her manage the pain and anger. Knowing she’s a long way from being back to normal, but also the anger and pain wasn’t near as bad. Slowly feeling more ‘settled’ in her own mind and body, though some days she still feels like everything’s so wrong. Those were the days that Tara seemed to know, and realizing that the Wiccan probably did know, and would come and hug her, insisting that she talk and meditate with her to help her through the worst of it.

Tara grins crookedly at the slayer and gently squeezes her shoulder. “That almost sounded like you were asking me on a date.” 

Buffy shrugs and allows a small grin to cross her face. “Well, we have been sleeping together for over a week. I thought it might be time to actually take you out.”

Tara laughs quietly and smacks Buffy gently on the shoulder, the slayer having made it a habit to make little comments and do things the past week to embarrass her. Though noticing that, more often than not, Buffy would say something when she obviously noticed that she was becoming more worried or introspective. “So, where are you taking me?”

Buffy allows a full smile to cross her face. “Do you want to try that new Chinese Buffet that opened up over by the campus?”

“That sounds wonderful. Planning on seeing how long it will take for them to kick you out?” Tara jokes and winks at the slayer, laughing at the pout she gets in response.

“It’s all you can eat. If they can’t handle it, they shouldn’t make it an all you can eat buffet!” Buffy smiles at hearing Tara laugh, knowing the Wiccan has become more serious and worried than she should be. “Come on. You’ve cooked dinner every night this week, plus fixed breakfast more often than not. Let me treat you.” Buffy begs softly, her eyes serious.

“I already agreed, honey.” Tara smiles softly at the slayer. Brushing a fingertip gently over the slayer’s cheek, thankful that Buffy had started gaining some weight back. That along with the fact that her emotions weren’t quite as much in an uproar as they were before makes her feel better.

“Good. Let’s get ready.” Buffy urges Tara up the stairs allowing her eyes to take in the form of the Wiccan, having to admit that over the past week she’d been noticing the blonde woman a lot more. Knowing that waking up in her arms every day is doing more for her than even Tara realizes. 

“Where’s Willow?” Tara questions curiously, having noticed that the redhead wasn’t home.

“She said she was going to stay at her parent’s house this weekend.” Buffy shrugs, not really worried about the redhead. “She’s been acting a little antsy here the last few days.”

Tara slowly nods, worried. “If she hasn’t been doing any magic, it’s probably magical withdrawals. She has become so dependent on it, it acts like a drug.” Tara pulls one of her nicer blouses out of the closet, glancing over at Buffy. “What are you wearing?”

“Jeans and a button up shirt.” Buffy shrugs, sitting on the bed, watching as Tara pulls out a pair of jeans to put on, having noticed after a couple days that Tara was becoming less self-conscious and would change in the room while she was in here. Having to admit, that no matter how wrong it might be, she received pleasure from the sight of watching Tara change. “What are you planning on doing over the summer before classes start back up?” Buffy questions curiously, trying to keep her eyes to Tara’s face as the woman looks at her as she finishes pulling her clothes off. 

“Ummm. This is my last year, Buffy. I’ll be graduating this year, so I’ll be looking for a job.” Tara explains quietly seeing the shocked look on Buffy’s face.

“But… I thought you were the same age as us?” Buffy blinks in surprise at Tara, unconsciously leaning forward her eyes unwavering as they gaze at Tara.

Tara chuckles quietly and nods her head. “Yes, I am. But I skipped a year, and probably could have skipped more if my father would have signed the papers to allow it.” Tara shrugs as she pulls her jeans on, leaving them undone as she pulls her blouse on, buttoning it quickly before tucking it in and zipping and buttoning her jeans.

Buffy watches Tara as she makes her way over to the bed, having picked up her boots to sit on the edge beside her to put them on. “I… Damn. What is your degree in?” Buffy finally questions, realizing she never really knew what Tara was studying.

“Which one?” Tara quirks her lip at the slayer, her eyes twinkling, hearing the quiet growl come from Buffy, Tara chuckles. “I have a Business Management Degree and I also was able to earn enough credits to have a teaching degree. The first year I was here, I took summer classes also, along with a completely fully loaded schedule every year.”

Buffy stares at the woman as she lets that information sink in. “What are you wanting to do?”

“Find a job, what money I have put away won’t last forever.” Tara pats Buffy gently on the leg after she finishes tying her laces. “And since you’re adamant about me not actually paying rent and will only let me help with the groceries, electric and other bills I won’t have to rush out to take the first job I can find.” Tara sighs quietly as she thinks about what she would like to do. “I would love to teach. Having the summers off is a plus, also. Though having to bring my work home with me isn’t necessarily a plus.” Tara smiles at the thought.

“What grades? And what particular classes?” Buffy finally stands, walking over to the closet and grabbing her own clean clothes to change into while turning back to watch Tara. 

“Probably high school. English, History and any kind of Business courses.” Tara shrugs, unconsciously watching as Buffy changes. Becoming more comfortable around the slayer as Buffy didn’t freak out, and even with the teasing and occasional picking that she did, knowing the slayer had become more comfortable around her also.

“Instead of taking a full-time position, why don’t you think about being a substitute teacher?” Buffy suggests, smiling at the surprised look on Tara’s face. “That way you can teach the different courses and maybe not have quite so much ‘homework’ yourself.”

Tara chuckles and nods her head. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Of course substitutes don’t usually get benefits, but the pay would be better to help counteract that.” Tara purses her lips as she thinks about it. “Thanks for the idea, honey. That gives me another option.” Tara stands as the slayer steps towards the bedroom door. “Is Dawn still a little freaked out about the sleeping arrangements?”

Buffy grunts quietly, nodding her head. “I think what freaked her out is when she came into the room and I was practically wrapped around you.” Buffy admits as they walk down the stairs. Buffy double-checking her pockets for the keys and cash she’d tucked away automatically. 

“There was no practically to it. I didn’t realize you became an octopus.” Tara jokes as she waits for Buffy to lock the door behind them. “Jeep or walk?” 

Buffy purses her lips in consideration. “We need to do some grocery shopping, so it would probably be best to take the Jeep and we can stop at the store tonight instead of hitting it tomorrow.”

Tara laughs quietly as she pulls the keys out of her pocket and walks towards the Jeep. Unlocking the door for Buffy, she opens it to shut behind the slayer before making her way around the vehicle to climb in from where Buffy had unlocked the door for her. 

Buffy quietly watches as Tara drives towards the Chinese restaurant, enjoying the sight of the blonde Wiccan. Slowly coming to the realization that she cares more for Tara than just a friend, but knowing that Tara was still dealing with her feelings and hurt from Willow. Sighing quietly, Buffy turns to look out the window silently praying to the PTB to maybe, just this once, be on her side. To make their friendship something more.

***

Buffy growls quietly as she sees the bleached wonder making his way towards her. Having talked Tara into staying at home and getting some rest, knowing the Wiccan was tired between getting up early to go to school, plus being up late going out with her on patrol. Actually not even thinking about the fact that maybe Tara’s presence had kept Spike from approaching her. 

“Hey, Slayer. Been wantin’ to speak with you.” Spike lights a cigarette as he catches up to Buffy. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Spike. I don’t know why I kissed you, and it’s not going to happen again.” Buffy warns softly, her eyes sharpening as she pays more attention to her surroundings, as the vampire’s nearness throws off her slayer senses.

“There’s somethin’ between us, Slayer. That kiss oughta told you that.” Spike growls, grabbing Buffy to pull her to a stop, blocking her punch as he leers at the slayer. “Gotta do more than that pet, to hit me.”

“Spike, you’re a vampire and soulless. You may think you love me, but you’re just infatuated with me. If that damn chip wasn’t in your head, you’d probably be more than willing to try and kill me right now.” Buffy growls as she pokes the vampire in the head. “Now, stay the hell away from me. There isn’t anything between us and there never will be.”

“What? You got somethin’ goin’ on with Glinda? Didn’t think mousey girl would be your type.” Spike snarls hatefully, his eyes gleaming yellow. 

Buffy chuckles at the angry vampire. “I knew you were following us. And what of it? What if there is something between me and Tara? It’s none of your business!” 

Spike throws his half smoked cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath his booted heel. “No, it might not be any of my business. But there is someone whose business it is.” Spike smirks as he watches the shock cross Buffy’s face. “I guess it’s up to me to be letting Red know.”

“It’s not any of her business either, Spike.” Buffy snarls, the anger starting to come to the surface with a vengeance. “She fucked Tara over and the two women have split up. And not that it’s any of your business, but there isn’t anything going on between me and Tara right now!” 

“Ohh… the Wiccy love affair has ended, has it?” Spike smirks at the thought. “Red finally gave Glinda the heave ho, eh?”

Buffy snarls and snaps off a hard right to the vampire’s jaw, knocking him down to the ground. “Don’t talk about something you have no fucking clue about! Willow lost Tara because she fucked with her mind. You ought to know what that feels like, Spike.” Buffy taps the toe of her boot hard into Spike head. “Now stay the fuck away from me and the rest of my family and friends. Next time you try to cause trouble, you’re going to meet the end of Mister Pointy.” Buffy warns, her eyes flashing with her anger.

Spike snarls at the slayer as she strides away. His hand rubbing his bruised jaw. “So Red has a pair on her, does she? Wonder if she wants the bint back.” Spike smirks as he stands, pulling another cigarette out and lighting it as he watches the quickly disappearing slayer, smoking his cigarette in contemplation. “Maybe I ought to check into things a bit more.” Spike nods and grins to himself as he makes his way across town deciding a drink at Willy’s sounds pretty good right now.

***

“Damn that bleached blonde bastard.” Buffy growls as she stomps up the steps, still angry an hour later after her run in with Spike. Surprised when the door opens before she has a chance to pull her keys out, she sees the worry on Tara’s face. Calling herself a couple choice names, Buffy works on bringing her anger under control. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” Tara questions worriedly, looking over the slayer, not seeing anything but a light bruise on Buffy’s cheek. Watching intently as Buffy steps into the house walking normally. She’s silently thankful that there obviously wasn’t anything seriously wrong with the small woman.

“Bleached wonder has been trailing us this past week.” Buffy finally mumbles her eyes on the floor as she pulls out her weapons, setting them on the coffee table for the time being, realizing she never told Tara about the kiss that happened after the whole singing fiasco. Sighing quietly, Buffy raises her eyes to look at Tara. “When you guys found out I had been in heaven?” Buffy starts and at Tara’s nod, even as the woman winces slightly, Buffy sighs. Knowing from talking with Tara, that’s when the blonde Wiccan had found out about the original forget spell Willow had done on her, not even thinking about the fact that Tara could be wincing about what had happened to her. “Well, he sung his feelings for me and admitted he loved me.”

Tara stares in stunned shock at the slayer. Her eyes wide open, not knowing what to say she continues to watch as Buffy fidgets slightly.

“After the whole thing ended… I went out to the alley where he was and we… kissed.” Buffy finally admits, wincing as she looks at Tara waiting for the look of disgust to come over the woman. Not seeing any change of expression, though having to admit she could swear she saw a hint of pain and hurt crossing her face before Tara closed her emotions down, Buffy sighs and continues. “Anyway, nothing else happened but tonight he wanted to push for something more. He also threatened to tell Willow that there’s something going on between you and me. I thought you might want to know, just in case something happens.” 

Tara watches as Buffy seems to withdraw in on herself after she finishes talking. “Do y-you c-care for h-him?” Tara hesitantly questions her eyes shadowed as she watches Buffy start to walk up the stairs. Hoping in her heart that Buffy doesn’t care for the vampire, though honestly having no say in who, or what, Buffy might have feelings for.

Buffy stops and slowly turns to look at Tara. “I wouldn’t say that I care for him, or even that there are feelings so much, but I honestly believe if things had gone differently for me that I could very well have ended up taking him up on his offer.” Buffy steps back down, slowly closing the distance between her and Tara. “I had already decided to use Spike, if I had run into him the night of the forget spell. Lucky for me, I didn’t run into him and made it home in time to keep you from moving out. And in that one simple twist of fate, I was kept from doing something degrading and disgusting, possibly losing myself forever in the darkness to having sunlight in my life again.” Buffy reaches up to gently cup Tara’s cheek, seeing the tears gathering in her blue eyes. “Please don’t take the sunlight away from me for a lapse in judgment.” Buffy begs softly, her eyes searching Tara’s, quietly sighing in relief as she sees the sadness but also the forgiveness and caring being shown her after a few moments.

“Buffy, honey…” Tara gently shakes her head, reaching up to press the slayer’s hand more firmly to her cheek. “We all do things at one time or another that we regret. And maybe in h-his own w-way, S-spike may l-love you.” Tara offers softly watching Buffy intently.

“How can he love without a soul?” Buffy questions quietly and seriously. “Becoming infatuated with someone, I can see, but loving… no. It shouldn’t be possible, and I doubt that it is. Plus he’s too easily moved to do the wrong thing. I don’t want to become like him, Tara. I don’t want the darkness that’s fighting in me to win.” Buffy roughly admits, her eyes shadowed and filling with tears. 

“Goddess, Buffy.” Tara finally wraps her arms around Buffy, gently pulling the slayer to her as the tears start to fall from Buffy’s eyes. Pressing her lips to the side of Buffy’s head, she closes her eyes and holds her tightly. 

“Part of me wants to take him up on his offer, Tara. Something in me wants to wallow in his darkness.” Buffy buries her face tighter into Tara’s neck, wrapping her arms tightly around the Wiccan’s waist so there isn’t a single centimeter separating their bodies. 

Tara feels the tears sliding from her own eyes even as she clenches Buffy even tighter. “We’re not going to let the darkness win, Buffy. I won’t lose you, honey.” Tara whispers, gently kissing Buffy’s head while digging her fingers into the slayer’s waist. Realizing the slayer is seriously rattled from her own thoughts and desires.

“Thank you.” Buffy breathes the words over Tara’s neck as she continues to soak in the warmth and caring coming into her from the Wiccan. “Meditating helps, is there something else we can do to help even more?” Buffy finally questions after a long time as she slowly relaxes into Tara’s embrace.

Tara slowly nods her head as she licks her lips. “There’s a cleansing ritual that might help purge the worst of it, along with helping to heal your fractured spirit.” Tara finally offers, unconsciously stiffening as she feels a quick streak of anger coming from Buffy, directed at her. Waiting for the slayer to say what’s on her mind, Tara closes her eyes.

Buffy fights the surge of anger she feels, quickly getting control of it, though she tenses, her hands slowly dropping from holding onto the blonde. “Why didn’t you bring this up before?” Buffy finally questions, wincing at her own cold tones.

Tara whimpers quietly as she feels Buffy pulling away from her. Dropping her arms quickly, she steps back, giving the slayer the room she’s obviously needing. Walking over to the mantle, Tara leans against it, while keeping her back turned to the slayer. “The cleansing itself isn’t the p-problem, but the r-ritual w-would b-be m-more than you w-would p-probably want to do.” Tara finally gets out over her heavy stuttering. 

Buffy’s head snaps up at hearing the bad stuttering, her eyes narrowed on Tara not liking the fact that she won’t look at her, along with the stuttering making her more than slightly worried. “What aren’t you telling me, Tara?”

“You’re slowly g-getting b-better, Buffy. If w-we continue the w-way we are, you’ll eventually b-be better.” Tara speaks softly, finally looking at Buffy. Seeing the stubborn look on the slayer’s face, Tara sighs and looks back down. “It w-will allow m-me to be in y-your psyche, Buffy. To f-find the r-rift and f-fix it. But if w-we d-do this, a p-part of m-me will always b-be with you and a part of you w-within me. It m-may make a l-link b-between us to wh-where we’ll know the other’s th-thoughts, or possibly m-more. I’m n-not positive what m-might happen. And th-that’s why I d-didn’t m-mention it b-before.”

Buffy quickly closes the distance between her and Tara, feeling bad for the anger that had been directed at the woman that was doing everything possible to help her. “Easy, Tara.” Buffy whispers as she gently grasps Tara’s shoulder, frowning heavily as Tara flinches hard with her touch. “I’m not angry, Tara. Not anymore, and I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I should have known there was a reason for you not bringing it up before.” 

“It’s okay.” Tara shakes her head, shifting back a step from the slayer, effectively breaking the contact between them, feeling a deep hurt that Buffy obviously doesn’t trust her. “I’m…” Tara waves towards the steps before hurrying away, deciding she’ll sleep in Dawn’s bed for the night, since it’s available.

Buffy reaches for the blonde a second too late. Buffy watches Tara practically run away from her as her shoulders slump. “Great, Slayer. Just run off the one person that’s done everything she possibly can to help you. She stayed here and has gone out of her way to make your world right, and at the first questionable thing, you don’t give her the benefit of the doubt and get angry at her, like you can’t trust her. There’s no one more trustworthy than her.” Buffy sighs heavily as she looks up at the ceiling frowning heavily as she swears she hears Tara moving around in Dawn’s room. Not even aware of moving, Buffy takes the stairs three steps at a time to come to a halt outside Dawn’s closed door, knowing it was open earlier. 

Tara feels the slayer’s turmoil coming from the other side of the door. Finishing changing, she wants to let Buffy know that everything will be okay, but her feelings are too raw and too hurt right now with the slayer’s perceived distrust. Pulling down the covers, Tara slides into the twin bed, already missing the feel of the slayer being curled up around her. Throwing her arm over her eyes, Tara fights the tears that want to fall. Knowing that sleep will be at a minimum tonight even as she realizes that the love she feels for the slayer has deepened and slowly is turning into her falling in love with Buffy. Whimpering quietly at the uselessness of what she’s feeling, Tara tries to think of other things to keep her mind off Buffy.

Buffy leans against Dawn’s door, pressing her hand against the wood as she listens to the softly whimpering Wiccan. Hearing the occasional sniffle and shuddering breath as Tara obviously tries to control her tears. Silently wondering what she’s done this time Buffy closes her eyes in pain. Pressing her back against the wall beside Dawn’s door, Buffy slowly slides down it and pulls her knees up against her chest as she wraps her arms around her legs. Resting her forehead against her knees, she unconsciously decides to stay as close as she dares to the Wiccan, silently contemplating what she can do to make up to Tara for her own shortcomings and lack of trust. 

***


	7. Chapter 7

Tara opens the door as the first rays of sun come over the horizon, sighing quietly at the sight of Buffy curled up asleep outside the door. Feeling a streak of pain go through her, followed quickly by guilt at her actions, Tara kneels beside Buffy. Gently stroking a finger down Buffy’s cheek, Tara calls quietly. “Buffy, honey? Wake up.”

Buffy whimpers quietly, feeling cold inside and out. Hearing Tara’s voice and feeling her finally running her fingers through her hair, Buffy opens her eyes and practically launches herself at the Wiccan. Wrapping her arms around Tara, Buffy buries her face in her neck. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, honey…” Tara feels the tears come to her eyes as Buffy cries fitfully in her arms. The slayer had knocked her down to the floor and was literally trying to burrow into her. Running her hands firmly up and down her back, Tara presses a soft kiss to the top of Buffy’s head. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I should have told you last night that everything would be okay, I just needed some time to myself.” Tara whispers, hugging Buffy tightly. 

Buffy shakes her head and grasps Tara’s waist tightly with her hands. “No. I was stupid and I knew better. I KNEW BETTER! I know you wouldn’t keep something like that from me intentionally without a very good reason. But I was stupid and hurt you, and I didn’t mean to. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

Tara closes her eyes and presses her lips firmly to Buffy’s head, leaving them there. Just holding the slayer and letting her slowly calm down. As Buffy finally relaxes and her swirling emotions come under control, Tara sighs in relief. “How do you feel about sausage gravy and biscuits along with scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast?”

“I’ll help.” Buffy offers quietly, Tara has been trying to teach her to cook, though not having much luck. Leaving the actual cooking to Tara, Buffy just does the mixing and prep work. Easing her grip from Tara’s waist, Buffy hops up and holds her hand out to Tara, easily helping the woman to stand. Wiping the tears from her face roughly, Buffy looks intently at Tara. Reaching up, Buffy strokes her fingers tenderly down Tara’s cheek. “I am sorry, Tara. You can’t know how much.” Buffy leans in and brushes her lips quickly over the shocked Wiccan’s lips before disappearing into their bedroom.

Tara blinks in surprise, the kiss so quick, with the slayer literally disappearing right afterwards, that Tara wonders if she imagined the whole thing. Lifting her fingers to her tingling lips, Tara slowly shakes her head when she realizes that it wasn’t her imagination. “Well, I’ll be.” Tara whispers, her lips curling up in a half smile before she turns and hurries into the bathroom.

***

Buffy tears apart four biscuits and pours a couple generous spoonfuls of sausage gravy over the biscuits and scrambled eggs. Smiling as she feels Tara gently rub her shoulder as she moves around the kitchen placing drinks on the island for both of them as she settles beside her to fix her own plate. Enjoying the easy silence between them, along with being in one of her favorite places in the house, Buffy starts to eat. 

Tara gently tears a biscuit into bite size pieces before pouring a small amount of gravy over it, smiling as Buffy’s already tearing a couple more biscuits apart and throwing them on her plate to scoop more gravy onto them after she sets the spoon back in the bowl, extremely happy to see the slayer eating again and putting on much needed weight. “What do you want for lunch and dinner?”

Buffy looks over at Tara with a fork piled up with eggs, gravy and a piece of biscuit. “You know you don’t have to cook every meal, right?” Buffy tries again, having had this same argument with Tara for the last week. Tara had even insisted on fixing her sandwiches and other things for lunch when she had to be at school. 

“Yes, but I know you enjoy the food, and I like to cook.” Tara points at Buffy’s plate, grinning at the piled up food.

Buffy growls quietly, bringing the fork the rest of the way up and putting it in her mouth. Pulling the fork out while eating the bite of food, Buffy bounces gently against Tara. Finally swallowing, Buffy shrugs. “I’ll eat whatever you cook. But why don’t we just make sub sandwiches or something like that for lunch, instead of you actually cooking? I was thinking about taking you out shopping.” Buffy finally admits quietly, stabbing at a piece of biscuit with a huge hunk of sausage on it, quickly eating it. 

“What?” Tara looks at Buffy in surprise. 

“I need some more jeans and another pair of leather pants since one of them got ruined earlier this week. I thought I could entice you into driving me there if I offered to buy you some clothes.” Buffy grins hopefully at Tara.

“First off you don’t have to bribe me, Buffy. I’ll be happy to go with you to the mall. And I can buy my own clothes, thank you.” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer. 

“But I wanted to buy them as a thank you.” Buffy pouts slightly as she pokes at her food without actually scooping any up on her fork. 

“A thank you will make me just as happy. And why am I getting a thank you?” Tara furrows her brow in confusion.

“For everything you’ve done for me. For cooking and putting up with me and bratty Dawnie.” Buffy chuckles as Tara smacks her lightly on the leg. “Well, she can be a brat, you know.”

Tara hums noncommittally, before going back to finish her breakfast. “How about this, you can buy lunch at the mall and we’ll leave after we clean up from breakfast?” 

“Deal.” Buffy nods her head and holds her hand out to Tara, chuckling as Tara rolls her eyes but shakes hands with her. “And maybe a movie while we’re there, if there’s anything good playing.”

***

“What in the world are you doing?” Tara tilts her head as she watches the slayer with an arm full of jeans and tops. 

“Come with.” Buffy nods her head towards the changing rooms. Smiling apologetically at the woman, she nods towards Tara. “She’s the money bags, so she has to approve what I buy, is it okay if she goes in with me to the changing room?” Buffy puts her best innocent combination pleading look on her face. 

Tara looks at Buffy and blinks before turning her gaze to the woman, smiling softly at her as she finally nods her head. “How many items do you have, Buffy?”

“Ummm…” Buffy shifts and tries to count them, chuckling as Tara takes a handful away from her, making it easier for her to count. “Fifteen pairs of pants and ten shirts.” Buffy looks hopefully at the woman, knowing they usually put a limit on the amount of clothes they allow you to take into the changing rooms. 

Sighing quietly, Debbie waves the two women towards the change room. “Don’t make me regret this.” She warns softly, though the two women seem nice enough.

“We won’t.” Buffy grins happily and grabs the clothes, taking them from Tara and following the Wiccan into the changing room. 

“Good thing these are halfway decently sized, or you’d end up knocking me out as you tried to put on the tops.” Tara jokes, helping Buffy hang the clothes up. 

“Or maybe you knocking me out, too.” Buffy smirks as she hands a pair of jeans to Tara. “Try ‘em on.”

“Buffy, you’re not buying me clothes.” Tara states exasperatedly. 

“Don’t argue with me. I may be little but I’s strongs….” Buffy makes a muscle in her arm, looking at it and poking it with her other hand. “Well, it don’t looks likes much, but it’s there!” Buffy narrows her gaze on Tara as the blonde laughs. “Not that funny.” Buffy pouts and tugs on Tara’s jeans. “Off!” Chuckling wickedly, Buffy tugs on Tara’s shirt, also. “Off!”

“Buffy!” Tara whines quietly. 

“Come on, Tara. Please???” Buffy begs and flutters her eyelashes at Tara, grinning happily as she sees the capitulation in the woman’s eyes. Quickly stripping her own shirt off, placing it on a different hook, Buffy bends over, accidentally banging into Tara’s butt. “Damn. That sucker’s harder than it looks.” Buffy grumbles, rubbing her head while looking at the item in question. Curiously poking it with a finger of her other hand, squeaking as Tara yelps and turns around to look at her. “Sorry.” Buffy shrugs. “It was right there.”

“I’m going to see if the changing room next to this one is open, if you keep this up.” Tara warns with a narrowed gaze, trying to keep from laughing at the innocent looking slayer. 

“Not my fault. They should make these rooms a little bigger.” Buffy grumbles, smirking as she leans back over, banging into Tara’s stomach this time.

“Okay, you’re doing this on purpose.” Tara smacks Buffy on the shoulder before shifting away from the slayer, watching her baby step towards her as she unties her boots. Putting a hand on the slayer’s head, Tara effectively stops the woman from coming any closer. “You keep that up, I’m going to buy a paddle and beat your bottom.” Tara warns, though the laughter bubbling from her after the comment takes the seriousness out of the statement.

“But I’ll fall if I don’t have something to lean against.” Buffy looks up grinning at the Wiccan. “Come on, Tara. What’s a little leaning and poking between friends?”

Tara blushes at the word poking as her mind takes a definite trip into the gutter. Closing her eyes, she tilts her head up silently beseeching the Goddess for the strength to keep from saying or doing something that’ll embarrass her, or Buffy.

Buffy frowns at the dark blush on Tara’s face, trying to think what might have caused it. Shrugging her shoulders, Buffy moves her hand and rests it on Tara’s shoulder while lifting her foot to untie her boot and pull it off, before switching to do the same for the other boot. “I’ll behave. For now.” 

“Thank the Goddess.” Tara murmurs taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart as she looks down at Buffy. Sliding off her slip on tennis shoes Tara quickly undoes her jeans and slides them off, folding them to set on the little corner seat where Buffy had tossed her jeans. 

“What do you think?” Buffy turns to show how the jeans fit her. “Though I’m wondering if I shouldn’t buy a size larger, since you’ve been feeding me I’ve put on some weight.” Buffy runs a finger around the waistband of the snug jeans.

“You need to gain weight, honey.” Tara comments softly, her eyes taking in the jeans, trying not to let her eyes linger on the slayer’s perpetually tanned flesh. Sighing quietly at the sight of the way the jeans accentuate the slayer’s ass, Tara licks her lips. “Those fit perfectly. But I know I would like for you to put on some more weight, and if that’s the case…”

“Better to be practical.” Buffy grumbles quietly in understanding. Knowing that she’ll have money to help with expenses again, but not an unlimited amount to where she can go out and buy five new pairs of jeans every couple weeks. Buffy pulls down one of the silk feeling tops that are on sale, watching as Tara finishes unbuttoning her shirt. Looking at the expanse of Tara’s smooth, soft back, Buffy tilts her head curiously as she sees something small on the woman’s shoulder blade that she had never noticed previously. “Tara?” Buffy steps closer, running a finger gently over the dime sized item, blinking in surprise at the small tattoo of a pentagram. “Well, I’ll be…” Buffy chuckles. 

Tara smiles at the surprise and humor she hears in Buffy’s words. “Believe it or not, my mom gave me that before she became ill.” Tara looks over her shoulder, smiling at Buffy. “I’ve actually thought about getting another tattoo, but I never can make up my mind as to what I want, or where I want it placed…” Tara shrugs as she trails off.

“I honestly never would have expected you to have a tattoo.” Buffy admits, running a finger around the item again. “Don’t have any piercings or anything else, do you?”

Tara turns around facing the slayer and wiggles her eyebrows. “Why, you want to see them?” Tara laughs as Buffy’s eyes widen in surprise before her eyes drop to chest level. Laughing even harder as Buffy steps closer, and her head drops down slightly, Tara gently pushes on the slayer’s forehead, pushing her away. “Behave, Slayer.”

“Do you?” Buffy looks up wide-eyed at Tara. Deciding the octopus in her is going to have to play a little more in her ‘sleep’ to find out, if Tara doesn’t let her know.

“Only someone that knows me intimately and my female doctor know the answer to that question, Buffy.” Tara teases as she grabs the pair of jeans down and slides them on. 

Buffy scratches her head, realizing she can’t very well ask Willow, that would just be… bad. Knowing that if she called Tara’s doctor’s office, they’d probably laugh their asses off before they hung up on her. Pouting slightly, Buffy realizes she doesn’t have anyone else to ask. “Did you date anyone before Willow?” Buffy questions curiously, finally pulling on the top and buttoning it. Looking in the mirror, Buffy turns and looks at the way the item fits before taking it back off and hanging it up to add to the keep stack. 

Tara snorts quietly at the slayer’s question. Looking in the mirror after Buffy shifts out of the way, Tara has to admit that the jeans fit well and they hug her bottom nicely. Turning around she decides she’ll get them. 

“Here, try the top on.” Buffy hands one of the tops she’d picked up, thinking the blue color would accent Tara’s eyes perfectly. Watching as Tara buttons the top, only leaving the top button undone, Buffy shakes her head. “Tara, do I need to teach you to dress? You’re a woman, you’re stacked and you need to learn to flaunt it.” Buffy reaches up unbuttoning a couple more buttons, fussing with the edges of the shirt making it gape just the way she wants it to. “We need to visit Victoria Secrets. Get you one of those lacy bras and then have you unbutton one more button to flash the edges of it.” Buffy nods her head at the thought, her eyes gleaming.

Tara stares at Buffy in disbelief, her breathing having picked up along with her heartbeat as the slayer’s fingertips caressed over the skin of her chest while she played with her shirt. Swallowing to try and calm herself, Tara reaches up and gathers the top together at her neckline. “I’m not trying to attract a guy, Buffy.” Tara whispers, turning her back on the slayer while unbuttoning the buttons to slip the shirt off and hang it back up.

“Don’t women like breasts, too?” Buffy questions softly, frowning at Tara’s back, unaware of the woman looking in the mirror at her. “I mean, you are…” Buffy raises her hands up like she’s cupping Tara’s breasts. “Well, you seem to be nicely built, and I assumed…” Buffy finally blushes darkly and turns away, realizing she likes Tara’s breasts and can’t understand why another woman wouldn’t.

Tara takes a deep breath, seeing a brief glimpse of desire cross Buffy’s face before she blushed and turned away. “I guess so. I mean every woman’s different, Buffy. Pretty much like a guy would be, I assume. Some like breasts, others asses, legs and so forth. It just seems that guys seem to get distracted a lot easier when they see breasts.”

“Personally wouldn’t know.” Buffy mumbles as she pulls off the shirt, looking down at her own meager breasts before hanging the shirt back up, to grab another one down, quickly trying the shirts on.

“Some people would say more than a handful or mouthful would be a waste.” Tara offers quietly after a while, as she finishes stripping and putting her regular clothes and shoes back on. Without looking at Buffy, having felt the slayer stop moving and become completely still, Tara puts her hand on the door handle. “I think you can decide for yourself, Buffy.”

Buffy watches in silence as Tara leaves the changing room. Looking back at the clothes hanging on the hook, she realizes Tara didn’t try on the other pair of jeans and shirt she’d picked out for her. Shivering slightly at the thought of Tara’s mouth on her breasts, she looks back down at the items, running a hand up to cup her right breast curiously. Shaking her head at her thoughts, Buffy hurriedly tries on the rest of the clothes, putting them into two different stacks before dressing.

***

“What do you want to eat?” Buffy finally questions, the two women having been shopping in relative silence since they had tried on clothes together in the changing room. 

Tara looks at the plethora of food kiosks and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t have a taste for anything in p-particular, Buffy. Whatever you want is fine with me.” 

Buffy groans quietly, before heading towards the stairs and a corner seating area out of the way. Setting her bags in the corner, she waves Tara to sit down. Settling across from her, Buffy searches wary blue eyes. “If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, Tara. I didn’t mean to.”

Tara looks away and shakes her head. “Buffy, you have to remember, I am a red blooded lesbian. And we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, let alone sleeping in the same bed. I know a lot of your comments are just harmless flirtations on your end, because you aren’t interested in me like that. But it puts thoughts in my head that I’ve been trying to not let get in there.” 

Buffy watches Tara intently while she talks, listening to what she’s saying and not saying at the same time. Not knowing if she’s ready yet to take the big leap to letting Tara know she cares about her, and that the flirtations were just that, her being flirty and the harmless could go to hell in a hand basket, Buffy sighs softly, deciding it’s too soon after the break-up between her and Willow to say anything. Reaching across the small table and gently squeezing Tara’s hand that’s nervously moving in small circles, Buffy looks into blue eyes that turn towards her. “I’m sorry, Tara. I didn’t mean to push that much. It seems like I’m doing my damnedest to upset you this weekend, and I honestly don’t mean to.” Standing, Buffy lifts Tara’s hand and gently presses a soft kiss on the palm before releasing it. “I’m going to get us some food. Last chance to tell me what you want or you’ll have to eat whatever I buy.”

Tara stares in stunned shock at her hand, feeling a tingle from her palm all the way up her arm from the warm, open mouthed kiss. Not hearing the slayer’s question, it takes her a minute to notice Buffy has walked away. “Goddess, does she have the slightest clue what she does to me?” Tara holds her hand to her chest, trying to fight the desire wanting to course through her.


	8. Chapter 8

Tara laughs softly as she looks at the tray piled up with food. Standing, she grabs the two large drinks that are in danger of tipping over. Setting them down on the table Tara smiles softly at the slayer. “Did you buy everything?”

“Not quite.” Buffy shakes her head and places the tray on the table. “I got a couple salads. One’s a chef salad, the other’s one of those oriental salads with real chicken on it. There’s also a couple cheese steak subs, a fruit and cheese plate, chicken sandwiches, waffle fries… and who knows what else.” Buffy waves at the tray grabbing one of the cheese steak subs. “Grab what you want.”

Tara grins crookedly at the slayer before looking at the tray and slowly sorting the items, the chicken oriental salad actually looking pretty good. Placing that in front of her, she digs for a fork and dressing while watching Buffy tear through the sub and one of the orders of fries. Looking through the rest of the items, she pulls out the cheese and fruit plate. “Have at the rest, honey.” Tara waves at the tray still piled with items.

“These waffle fries are pretty good, you sure you don’t want to try one?” Buffy offers, holding one of the fries out to Tara, smiling as Tara accepts it.

Tara chuckles and grabs the waffle fry dripping with cheese. Licking her lips as a bit of cheese didn’t quite make into her mouth, she laughs softly. “Yes, it’s good. But I’ll stick with what I have here. You eat to your little heart’s content.” Tara knows Buffy can put away the food, the woman’s appetite having come back with a vengeance. Realizing the small slayer probably ate more than her father and brother did put together, and her brother had been no slouch in the food department. Sighing quietly at the thoughts of her family, Tara pokes at her salad and slowly works on eating it. 

Buffy looks at Tara curiously, seeing the sad look along with the sigh. Grabbing another sandwich and unwrapping it, Buffy looks at the item for a few moments before finally questioning Tara. “Having you fix me with the cleansing and ritual thingy, what are the pluses and minuses of it?” 

Tara drops her fork and looks up at Buffy in surprise. “Are you just c-curious or are you thinking seriously about this?”

Buffy looks at Tara for a moment before looking back down. “These mood swings I’m having are driving me crazy, Tara. I go from being happy to depressed, to ready to rip somebody’s head off at a second’s notice. I don’t like it when I take my anger out on you, my jumping on you and becoming angry yesterday scared me.” Buffy admits quietly. “I just want a better idea of what it entails and what the side effects may be.”

Tara takes a deep calming breath and looks at Buffy. “This probably isn’t the best place to discuss this, Buffy. But what I can tell you is that I can’t tell you for a fact exactly what the side effects are. I can tell you what they COULD be, but it depends on how much of myself I’d have to put into the healing of you, and how strong of a connection it makes. We could just be aware of the other person being in our heads, per se. But not really knowing what that person is thinking, without sending them a specific thought. Or we may know each other’s most intimate thoughts and feelings with no way of blocking them out. We may be able to block the other person’s feelings, or thoughts but not both. Each person is different, and I may just be able to put a temporary patch on you, and have to let you heal on your own.”

Buffy looks into worried blue eyes as Tara tries to explain. “So, we really don’t know what might happen, except for the fact that it should help me. You may or may not be in my head. I may or may not end up in yours.”

“Basically.” Tara runs a hand through her hair nervously. “But while I’m doing it, we would literally be open to each other, Buffy. All our fears, thoughts, wants, and desires would be there for the other person to see and know. And once I start the ritual, we will need to finish it. There will be no way of stopping in the middle of it if you change your mind.”

Buffy nods her head in understanding, looking back down at her sandwich. “Let me think on it. Maybe when we get back home if there’s anything else you can think of that might be of importance, you can tell me.” Buffy frowns and slowly looks up as Tara continues to sit there quietly. “You never said whether or not you would want to do this, Tara. This doesn’t just affect me, it affects you, too.”

Tara swallows and stares at Buffy for a few minutes, seeing the silent question in the slayer’s eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Buffy.” Tara finally whispers.

Buffy leans forward to look into worried blue eyes. “That wasn’t really what I was looking for. Would you want to do this Tara? Do you want to chance me knowing you better than anyone else in the world? To know you completely, as only you know yourself? Because that’s basically what you’re telling me, right? That this could happen. And if it does, what if you fall in love with someone, could it be like I’m with you as you make love? And vice versa?”

Tara pales at Buffy’s questions and slowly nods her head. “It’s possible, Buffy. Very possible. There are reasons people aren’t meant to be brought back from the dead. Willow’s very lucky you came back as well as you did. Most people’s minds would have been completely shattered by the experience, and I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t something she should do, but…” Tara takes a deep shuddering breath, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you. At that moment, I thought anything and everything that possibly could happen, would be worth it. Now, knowing the pain and heartache you’re going through…” Tara wraps her arms around her waist and shivers uncontrollably. 

Buffy reaches across the short distance and grasps Tara’s forearm, gently squeezing it. “Don’t blame yourself, Tara. It’s over and done with. I’m here now, so we need to go forward, right?”

Tara slowly nods her head, the tears filling her eyes and making them glassy, but not falling. “It doesn’t make it right, though Buffy.” Tara whispers, the tears finally falling. 

“Shhh.” Buffy frowns and shifts the chair around the small table until it’s against Tara’s chair. Finding herself in the unlikely position of trying to calm Tara, Buffy wraps her arm around her shaking shoulders. “Damn it, I did it again. Come on, Tare. I don’t want you to be upset.” Buffy places her forehead against Tara’s temple, reaching up with her free hand to gently brush the tears from Tara’s cheek. “I go from making you cry, to not talking to me, to running away from me. I’m starting to wonder how good of an idea it was to keep you from leaving.” Buffy whispers softly closing her eyes as she contemplates the Wiccan.

Tara swallows hard and shakes her head slightly. “I’m glad you d-did, Buffy. S-since my m-mama d-died; your house is the only p-place that f-feels like home.” Tara leans heavier into the slayer. “It’s n-not just you. I th-think I’m f-finally starting to r-realize that I’ve l-left W-willow for good.” Tara sighs heavily at the thought, knowing how true it is. The feelings she has for the slayer bringing that home with a vengeance. Almost not wanting Buffy to want to do the ritual, there being no way she could keep the slayer from learning how much she cares for her. 

“I want it to be your home, too.” Buffy softly admits, settling the hand that had gently brushed the tears away from Tara’s cheeks on the Wiccan’s thigh, gently squeezing it. Shifting her head up, she presses her lips firmly against Tara’s temple. “No more anger, tears, hurt feelings…” Buffy tilts her head and tries to think of anything else to add to that list. “Or just plain meanness allowed for the rest of today. We’re going to have some fun. But not watching any of the movies that are showing here, they all sound like crap.” Buffy grumbles.

Tara chuckles as she relaxes, unwrapping her arms and gently patting Buffy’s hand that’s still clasping her thigh. “So, what do you have planned, Slayer?”

“Stop at the movie rental place and pick up some oldies but goodies, along with some Sno Caps, Goobers and Red Licorice to pig out on while we watch them.” Buffy rambles off quickly, smiling at the quiet laughter coming from Tara. “But right now, we have food to consume. So eat.” Buffy points to the salad, hugging Tara quickly before releasing her and shifting back around the table.

“Yes, boss.” Tara grins crookedly at Buffy before relaxing to start eating the late lunch.

***

Willow lets herself back into her parent’s house, carrying the Chinese food. “I’m back.” She calls out quietly, hoping not to startle Amy. Having come across a spell Saturday when she went to the Magic Box that ended up being the right spell to de-rat Amy, she had taken her over to her parent’s house and performed it. Now the nervous, scared and extremely twitchy woman was staying in her room and refusing to leave the house. 

Amy scurries from the corner she’d been hiding in since Willow left, quickly following the redhead into the kitchen. 

“I picked you up some of the Egg Drop Soup you wanted, along with House Lo Mein and Egg Foo Young.” Willow starts pulling out the containers of food, setting them on the counter. “Have you thought any more about calling your dad?” Willow questions softly, her eyes worried as they glance at Amy, silently wondering if the young woman will ever be okay again, having spent the last three years as a rat, obviously having taken its toll on her. 

“No.” Amy twitches nervously while picking up the container of soup, pulling the lid off to sip directly from the plastic container. 

Willow pulls down plates and silverware along with a bowl to put the soup in. Setting the kitchen table, she gently eases the soup container from Amy and dumps some in the bowl, setting a bag of the crunchy noodles beside it. “Sit down, Amy. Would you like water, juice or milk with dinner?” Willow questions as she opens the refrigerator pulling out a soda for herself already learning not to give the woman anything with caffeine in it.

“Milk.” Amy sits down and taps nervously on the table, watching Willow apprehensively. “Are you sure your parents aren’t coming home soon?”

“No, Amy. They’re over in Eastern Europe somewhere.” Willow explains to the woman for the sixth or seventh time. Filling the glass with milk, she puts the gallon back in the refrigerator and grabs her soda, setting the drinks on the table as she settles in beside Amy and places some food on her plate, handing a fork to her. “Eat, Amy. You know once you’ve eaten you usually calm down some.” Willow gently taps the plate before putting some food on her plate, watching as Amy shakily starts to work on her food. 

“Has anyone questioned you about me, yet?” Amy’s eyes twitch, moving constantly between her food and Willow and back again. 

“No, not yet.” Willow shakes her head, sighing quietly as Amy’s nervousness starts to affect her. That not being something she needs right now, already nervous enough on her own with not having done any spells after changing Amy back into her human form.

“Can you tell me more?” Amy looks hopefully at Willow, the redhead having been explaining to her what happened since she turned herself into a rat their senior year of high school. Willow having told her about what happened with the relatively newly arrived slayer, Faith. Willow’s own vampire double, killing the mayor and Angel’s subsequent leaving to go to LA. 

“After you eat, I’ll tell you about freshman year of college and what transpired there.” Willow looks pointedly at the barely touched food, smiling softly as Amy hurriedly picks her fork back up and starts to eat. Relaxing back into the chair, Willow slowly eats while watching Amy. Silently wondering how the woman is going to react to finding out that she’s gay. Shrugging her shoulders, figuring she’ll know soon enough, Willow sips her soda and stares out the window at the darkening sky. As usual, trying to figure out when she’d taken such a drastic turn for the worse. 

Amy hurriedly eats the food on her plate, looking up at Willow repeatedly, surprised as always at how much the woman’s changed in the past three years. The power practically oozing from her pores scaring Amy somewhat, as she realizes it feels close to what her mother felt like at the end. Not wanting to go that route again, Amy silently decides to do her damnedest not to get sucked back into the magic again. Knowing how easy it is to just let magic fix everything that’s wrong, and look at what happened. She lost three years of her life and can’t even sit calmly for two seconds.

Willow purses her lips as she continues to consider what’s transpired recently. Buffy and Tara being almost inseparable, but she is almost positive there’s nothing going on between the two women. The almost being, that she occasionally catches Tara looking at Buffy like she used to look at her when they were first together. Buffy’s looks were harder to decipher, though she had caught Buffy looking at Tara more often than not with a curious look in her eyes. Sighing quietly at the thought of the two women becoming a couple, Willow feels a bolt of jealousy shoot through her before she buries it deeply within her. Running a hand through her hair, she blinks as Amy coughs quietly and waves to her empty plate and bowl. Smiling softly at the ex-rat, Willow nods her head towards the living room. “Let’s go sit in there where it’s more comfortable.” 

“Okay.” Amy hurriedly stands, heading towards the living room before stopping and turning nervously, quietly mumbling. “Remember to put up your dishes, not a rat anymore, pick up after yourself.” 

Willow quickly closes the containers of food and puts them in the refrigerator as Amy cleans off the table, placing the dirty dishes in the sink before wiping down the table. “I’ll load the dishwasher later, Amy.”

Amy bounces slightly and nods her head before hurrying to the living room. 

Willow rubs her forehead as she slowly follows Amy. As Amy sits on the couch, fidgeting, Willow slowly paces back and forth, crossing her arms over her chest as she thinks about how to start telling Amy about what happened their freshman year. Slowly talking about how Buffy had an evil roommate, to her moving in with Buffy, through Oz cheating on her with Veruca and killing the werewolf before he left for Tibet. 

Amy listens intently as Willow talks about what would have been her freshman year in college, her eyes twitching and her body shifting slightly on the couch. As Willow explains about the Initiative, Spike and her failed attempt at the ‘My Will Be Done’ spell, and what happened with it, Amy inhales deeply, wondering if Willow knew that she was playing with fire by doing that spell.

Willow slowly explains about the Wicca Group meeting she went to on campus, the Gentlemen and meeting Tara while they were running for their lives, her voice softening unbeknownst to her as she thinks about that time. 

Amy looks in surprise hearing the warmth coming into Willow’s voice as she talks about the other witch. Willow’s voice hadn’t shown that much warmth when she talked about Oz to begin with. Licking her lips nervously she continues to listen to what happened. When Willow becomes nervous and starts babbling more, Amy whispers quietly. “Willow, relax. Whatever it is, I’m not going to hate you for it. You saved me from my own stupidity. I could have stayed a rat for the rest of my life.”

Willow twists her hands nervously together as she looks at Amy seeing the honesty in her pale blue eyes. Finally explaining in a little more detail about her relationship with Tara through Oz coming back and her choosing the Wiccan. Seeing the surprise but no censure or hatred coming from Amy, Willow finishes telling her about Adam and how Buffy was supercharged and able to take out the Initiative’s creation.

Amy blinks in surprise at Willow admitting she dated a woman, the warmth in her voice as she talks about Tara making a lot more sense now. Fighting the smile on her own face at the realization that she and Willow were more alike than even the redhead knows Amy relaxes a little more. 

“You’re not going to freak out on me?” Willow questions nervously, looking at Amy

“No.” Amy shakes her head, grinning at the redhead. “I’m not much of one for the guys, Willow.” Amy comments softly, chuckling as Willow looks at her, the surprise obvious.

“But… I…” Willow sits down heavily in the chair facing Amy. “You never said anything?!”

Amy shrugs and blushes lightly. “It wasn’t exactly like people were real accepting of certain things. I don’t know how they would have reacted if I had said something.” Amy admits quietly. “So, how long did you and Tara date?”

Willow pales slightly and looks away, before answering Amy. “Until last week.”

“What?” Amy blinks in surprise, realizing Willow had dated the woman for almost two years.

“We were living together at Buffy’s house, taking care of her sister Dawn after Buffy had died.” Willow admits shakily, frowning heavily at the thought. “There’s a lot that happened between our freshman year and now, Amy.”

“Buffy’s dead?” Amy pales, feeling sick at the thought of the young woman being dead.

Willow hurriedly shakes her head. “She was, but she’s not now. I kinda brought her back after roughly four months.” Willow admits, watching as Amy pales even more before turning a greenish cast and hurries from the room to the bathroom. Worriedly following Amy, Willow slides into the bathroom and rubs her back gently as she finishes getting sick. Reaching over to the sink, she grabs a clean cloth and runs it under the cold water and hands it to Amy. “Are you okay?”

Amy nods her head, flushing the toilet as she sits more on the floor, scooting back to lean against the wall. Pressing the cold, wet cloth to her face, she feels Willow hesitantly sitting beside her, but not coming into contact with her. “Explain.”

Willow worriedly picks at her pants at the single, simple word. “I have to go back a ways to explain how it got to that point…” Willow whispers before slowly explaining about Dawn’s origins, Joyce dying, Glory, even the argument she and Tara had before Glory sucked Tara’s mind through everything that happened pretty much the past year. How Buffy sacrificed herself for Dawn, her and Tara moving into Buffy’s house to take care of the teenager.

Amy listens carefully as Willow explains what happened, and how they had the robot of Buffy and how she came to be. Shivering slightly at that thought, Amy gets her mind off the sex toy as Willow finally whispers about the Urn of Osiris and bringing Buffy back from the dead. Interrupting, Amy questions Willow hurriedly. “What spell did you use, Willow?”

Willow swallows and stands. “I’ll get it.” Willow hurriedly runs into her room and sorts through her books to find the right one. Carrying it back into the bathroom, she flips it to the right page and hands it to Amy. Watching as the young witch reads over it and becomes even paler and looks like she might throw up again. “What is it?”

Amy shuts the book and takes shallow breaths trying to keep control of her stomach contents for a few minutes before she finally feels like she might not get sick. “How is she acting right now?”

“Angry at the world one moment not seeming to give a shit the next. I was literally afraid she was going to beat me when I did the spell on Tar…” Willow pales and turns away as Amy looks at her in shock.

“You did a spell ON your girlfriend?” Amy whispers, her mind shutting down, not believing Willow would do something like that. “That’s why…” Amy realizes that’s why Willow and Tara were broken up now. Rubbing her hands roughly over her face, Amy shakes her head. “We’ll get back to that. So basically, Buffy has serious mood swings and has a hard time controlling her temper. Willow, what you did by bringing her back from Heaven was put a crack in her soul. You’re lucky she didn’t come back completely insane and uncontrollable. Could you imagine Buffy with her strength deciding on going on a rampage? She wouldn’t know any better! There’s something broken inside of her, and I honestly don’t know if it’ll mend, or not.” Amy explains softly, her eyes shadowed as she looks at Willow. “For everything you do, there is a reaction, Willow. You brought Buffy back, but Buffy’s hurt and not right. You’re lucky she hasn’t decided to rip you into a million pieces. Most times when someone has tried to do this type of spell in the past, the person it was done on kills it’s ‘creator’ for lack of a better word, before it’s gone on a rampage and killed anything and everything in its way. Besides fracturing the person’s spirit, a lot of time it shatters their soul and leaves just a completely wild animal in its place with no reasoning capabilities at all.”

Willow swallows convulsively, feeling sick at what she’s hearing. “How… How do you know so much about it?”

“My mom’s book. There was some serious black magic in it, and one of the spells and consequences of the spell was detailed in it. It stuck in my head for some reason, and I recognized this spell as being almost identical to that one.” Amy waves at the notebook, her eyes shadowed and worried. “You’re damn lucky Buffy came back as well as she did, Willow. But she’s not right and it isn’t something that can easily be made right again.”

“Is there a way to make it right?” Willow pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs tightly, feeling sick beyond measure.

“I don’t know.” Amy admits, shivering slightly at the thought. “The people that they mentioned before were too far gone to help. They had to put them to rest.” 

“Goddess.” Willow whimpers, burying her face in her knees. “Tara’s been talking with Buffy, and trying to help her.” Willow finally admits quietly. “I think she saw that there was something seriously wrong with her.”

“She can see those type things?” Amy questions curiously.

“She can see auras. When Faith woke up from her coma, she did a body switch with Buffy. Tara could tell it wasn’t really Buffy in her body without ever having met her. She helped me access the Nether Realms to find out what happened and we created another Draconian Katra to switch them back.” Willow explains a little more in detail, from the brief synopsis she’d given Amy earlier.

“Willow, if you don’t get control of yourself, you’re going to end up like my mom… or worse.” Amy finally admits, hating to have to say it, but knowing she needs to. Coming so close herself, she doesn’t want to see the redhead lose herself to the darkness. “We probably both need to seek help.” Amy whispers softly, but knowing the couple Coven’s her mother had mentioned were Black Arts oriented. 

“But who can I get help from? Tara was willing to help me before… but now I don’t think she will, even if Buffy would let me near her.” Willow whispers, the tears in her voice obvious. 

Amy, surprised at the comment looks at Willow. “Willow? Are Buffy and Tara…”

Willow shakes her head slowly, though not so sure. “They weren’t, but they’ve become closer here recently since I did the spell on Tara… The second spell.” 

Amy groans and slumps further down the wall, covering her face with her hands. “What’s Tara like?”

Willow bites her lip as she fights the tears coming to her eyes. “Very kind, considerate, loving and powerful in her own right as a Wiccan. She does strictly light magic. She won’t touch anything that’s remotely dark. She only uses magic if she has to, or has an extremely good reason to use it.”

“A good witch, through and through.” Amy comments softly, before sighing heavily. “You’re too personally involved with her to listen to her, Willow. Is there anyone else you can contact that could find somewhere for us to get help? I know you’re fighting the magic running through your body, it’s calling to mine truthfully.”

Willow winces at Amy’s admittance before slowly nodding her head. “I can probably call Giles. If he’s still speaking to me, I wasn’t exactly nice to him the last time we talked.”

“What do you have to lose? Other than yourself?” Amy questions softly, her eyes showing how serious she is.

Willow whimpers and wipes the tears from her eyes, nodding her head in silent agreement.


	9. Chapter 9

“What are you doing?” Tara questions curiously, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she looks at Buffy who’s blushing darkly.

“Nothin’.” Buffy purses her lips and shifts her hand from where she’d been trying to push Tara’s shirt up to see if there are any piercings. Not having a chance the last couple weeks to look when she remembered. Between Tara’s busy school schedule then more often than not, going out with her on patrol they’d kept busy. Having been keeping up on the house, laundry and even working out in the yard to keep busy while everyone went to school, they had settled into a comfortable way of doing things that made Buffy feel a little more settled, though the anger and pain makes an appearance, but not to the degree it had been. 

Tara quirks her eyebrow at the slayer, before covering her mouth as she yawns. Knowing Buffy was up to something, she tries to remember what the slayer was doing before she’d woken up. Shaking her head slightly and rubbing her eyes again, she looks down and sees the covers somewhat shifted down and her shirt askew more than it normally is. Fighting the smile that’s trying to come to her lips, she looks at an all too innocent looking slayer. Tapping Buffy on the nose, she chuckles as Buffy blushes again. “Intimately and doctors only.” Tara laughs and rolls out of the bed, heading towards the dresser to get clothes to wear after she showers and gets ready for her classes. 

Buffy grumbles quietly, her eyes following Tara surprised as she thinks that it’s been a month since Tara had almost moved out. Willow was spending more and more time at her parents’ house than here with them. Though most of her personal stuff is still here, she’d only taken part of them back home. 

Sighing quietly as Tara heads towards the bathroom with a quick smile towards her, Buffy rolls over onto the Wiccan’s side of the bed, burying her face in her pillow. Getting to know Tara was a surprisingly enlightening experience. Never realizing how deeply Tara felt for friends and family until all this had happened. How hard it was for Tara to leave her father and brother, even though it was absolutely the best thing for her to do. Feeling the anger trying to surface as she remembers Tara explaining what her home life was like, and the mental and physical abuse she’d gone through with her father and brother. Really wishing she had a second chance with the two men, knowing she’d probably either knock some sense into them, or knock them completely out for the shit they had pulled. Taking one more deep inhale of the Wiccan’s scent, Buffy rolls out of the bed and makes it quickly. 

“It’s still okay for me to go to Kelsey’s house after school today and spend the weekend, right?” Dawn questions as she hurries towards the stairs, stopping to glance into Buffy’s room as her sister gathers her clothes. 

“Yes it is. But if you have any homework this weekend, you have to do it.” Buffy reminds Dawn quickly, smiling a little bit at her sister, thankful that Dawn had relaxed somewhat, knowing Tara had spoken with her multiple times and was trying to straighten her out with some of the shit she’d been pulling.

Dawn rolls her eyes, but nods her head in acceptance. “I will. I have my clothes in here.” Dawn holds up the gym bag and grins before turning away. “I’ll probably just have a bowl of cereal this morning.”

“Be good.” Buffy calls out after Dawn as the teen pounds down the stairs, groaning at what sounds like a herd of elephants. Hearing the water shut off to the shower, Buffy grins wickedly and hurries across the hallway. Gently trying to open the door, she pouts as she realizes it’s locked. “Damn. Never gonna get to see.” 

“See what?” Willow hurries out of the bedroom towards the bathroom. “I really need to go to the bathroom. Can I sneak in before you?”

“Yeah. Tara’s in there though.” Buffy admits, pointing to the door. Looking at Willow, noticing she’s already dressed and ready to go, Buffy frowns as she swears that she doesn’t have a class this early. “Where are you heading to this early?”

“I have to meet someone and we’re going out of town for the weekend.” Willow admits, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Not having told Buffy or Tara about the fact that Giles had contacted a Coven just outside of LA for her and Amy to visit. Wanting to check it out this weekend, along with the woman in charge there being able to talk and discuss a plan of action to hopefully help her and Amy both. Knowing that the magic is still calling to her strongly, making it hard for her not to give in to the dark magic. Thankful Amy had finally talked with her father, and even got her license renewed, along with her father giving her a nice used vehicle. He’d been ecstatic when she’d come back and was literally doting on her.

Buffy narrows her gaze on her nervous friend before nodding her head. Tara having told her that as far as she could tell, that Willow hasn’t done any magic whatsoever in a few weeks. Honestly believing the last spell the redhead had done was to transform Amy back to her human form. Willow still not having told them that Amy was back, Buffy finally questions her softly. “I assume you and Amy are going somewhere together?”

Willow pales and places a hand against the wall as she stares at Buffy. “How did you know?”

“She’s been gone not long after the big problems here, Willow. Tara noticed it right off the bat and told me that you probably were able to change her back.” Buffy explains quietly, her eyes searching worried green eyes. “Tara’s also aware of the fact that you’ve been good about not doing any magic.”

“I haven’t.” Willow whispers, crossing her arms over her chest, nervous as she realizes Buffy and Tara know more of what’s going on that she was aware of, though they hadn’t really talked since she’d done the spell on Tara, along with the ultimatum from Buffy. “How are you two?” Willow finally questions.

Buffy shrugs and grins slightly. “I never realized Tara had such a good sense of humor, or how caring of a person she is.”

“She is.” Willow agrees nodding her head up and down repeatedly, her eyes going to the closed door and the dryer they can hear running. “Can I speak to her today, before I leave, or…” Willow looks nervously at Buffy.

Buffy sighs quietly and looks down at the ground. “It’s up to her, Willow. I’ll leave it Tara’s decision, but if you do anything to harm her in any way, you’ll be answering to me.” Buffy explains softly, her tone serious. “She’s been through enough in her life without you adding to it.”

Willow swallows hard and nods her head. “She explained to you…?” 

“Yeah, she told me about her family life, Wills.” Buffy runs a hand through her hair, fighting the anger again that’s wanting to rise within her. “I have to ask… How in the hell could you do the spells on her, Willow? She’s the most kind, unassuming, caring and loving person I have ever known. What did she do to deserve you doing that to her?”

Willow’s lip trembles and her eyes fill with tears as she looks at Buffy. “Nothing, Buffy. She did nothing.” Willow finally admits, wiping the tears that started falling from her cheeks. “I didn’t like the fact that she was mad at me, and not liking the amount of magic I was doing, so I figured I’d fix it. I didn’t want to notice that everything she said was the truth, and I was getting deeper and deeper into the dark magic’s.” Willow sighs quietly, her eyes turning to the door once more before looking at Buffy. “Did I screw up beyond all hope?”

Buffy clenches her jaws and looks away from Willow. Knowing what she wants the answer to be, but also knowing that she has no say in what Tara decides. Tara having made the comment a few weeks ago that things were pretty much over between her and Willow, but not knowing if it was just a gut reaction, or if Tara might have changed her mind. “You’ll have to ask Tara, Willow. She’s the only one that can truthfully answer that question.” Buffy waves to the door before turning around. “I’ll wait and hit the bathroom later. Tara will probably be out in a couple more minutes.” 

Willow watches Buffy head into her bedroom, the door shutting with a quiet click behind her, silently wondering again if there’s anything going on between Buffy and Tara. 

***

Tara sighs quietly as she hears the quiet murmurings of Buffy and Willow outside the door, along with Buffy’s emotions flitting between anger, sadness and worry. Finishing drying her hair, she brushes it out and pulls on her clothes, surprised to see Willow nervously standing outside the door. Nodding to the redhead, she starts to ease by her when she’s surprised at the feel of a tentative hand on her forearm. Looking warily into green eyes, Tara waits for Willow to say something. 

“Can we talk in a few minutes?” Willow finally questions as she realizes Tara isn’t going to say anything to her. 

Tara looks down at her watch and looks back at Willow. “I have about twenty-five minutes before I need to leave for the campus if I take the Jeep. I’ll check with Buffy to make sure it’s okay that I drive it today.” Tara offers quietly before stepping towards her and Buffy’s bedroom.

“Thank you.” Willow whispers before hurrying into the bathroom.

Tara looks at Willow for a moment before easing the bedroom door open, surprised to see Buffy standing at the window staring out of it with her back tensed, and her emotions locked down tight. Knowing Buffy has been trying to work on keeping her emotions somewhat under control, though the two of them had talked about the fact that she needs to talk about things and vent her anger and worry. 

“You’re welcome to the Jeep whenever you want it, Tara. You know that.” Buffy quietly states without turning to look at her. 

Tara sighs quietly and shuts the door behind her to walk up to Buffy. Gently placing her hands on the slayer’s tense shoulders, Tara kneads them gently. “What’s wrong, Buffy?”

Buffy leans forward, placing her forehead against the window, slowly relaxing as Tara’s hands continue to knead over her shoulders and back. “Do you want to hear what I was planning on telling you, or the truth?”

Tara runs her fingers through Buffy’s hair, sighing again. “The truth.” 

“I don’t want you to go back to Willow.” Buffy states quickly and concisely. “I may be selfish, but I want you for myself. It drives me crazy that I might lose you, if you decide to go back to her.”

Tara stills her hands movements at the extreme amount of pain coming from Buffy with her words. Gently wrapping her arms around Buffy’s waist, Tara hooks her chin over her shoulder and rests the side of her head against Buffy’s. “Why?” Tara asks simply. 

“Why am I being selfish? Why is it driving me crazy? Why don’t I want to lose you?” Buffy shrugs lightly and continues to look out at the beautiful blue sky. “Because the idea of that happening scares me, Tara. I’ve come to care for you and depend on you so much in the past month. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be either fucking Spike or dead.”

“No…” Tara shakes her head and hugs Buffy tightly, pulling the slayer hard against her body. “Don’t say that. You’re doing so much better, Buffy. Eventually you would have gotten here on your own. I’ve just given you a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to and a body to cuddle up against. I haven’t done that much.”

“You put your life on hold for me, Tara. When you aren’t at school or studying, you’re with me, doing something for me or helping me in some way. What do you want to do? Do you want to get back with Willow? Do you… want to date again?” Buffy almost strangles on the last two questions, the fear of what the answers to them might be almost makes her want to climb out the window and run away. 

Tara holds on tightly to Buffy, feeling the woman’s body coil in her embrace, knowing what she’s thinking about doing, even as the fear washes over her from Buffy. Thinking long and hard about the slayer in her arms, Tara tilts her head and presses a soft kiss to her jaw, before resting her chin again on her shoulder. “My life isn’t on hold, Buffy. I’m spending it in the one place I really love being. As for what I want to do? I’m extremely happy being here with you and Dawnie. You’re my family in so many ways, and you probably don’t even realize it. As for Willow…” Tara takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as she really thinks about her ex-lover. Realizing she cares for Willow, but she doesn’t love her anymore, at least not in a girlfriend or lover way. “No, I don’t want to get back together with Willow. Not now… not ever. We’re through. Hopefully one day we can be friends again, and I might learn to trust her in a friend capacity, but I won’t ever be able to trust her as a lover again. She doesn’t hold that part of my heart anymore.” 

Buffy slowly relaxes a little more and leans heavier back into Tara’s comforting embrace. “What about dating again?” Buffy finally questions after a few minutes. 

“Eventually I would like to find someone special to date. But it would need to be someone that won’t freak out at the thought of vampires, demons, slayers and witches being real. I want to be myself with the person I decide to love and loves me. Unfortunately that’s harder than I would have ever believed possible.” Tara admits quietly, her eyes thoughtful as she thinks about the woman in her arms, knowing she’s falling in love with Buffy, but not wanting to hope that one day that love might be returned. Knowing the slayer has never been interested in a woman, and right now, she’s just her ‘lifeline’ more than anything.

“It is hard.” Buffy agrees, turning her head and pressing her lips softly to Tara’s cheek. “Let me know when you’re ready to get back into the dating game, please.” Buffy whispers softly against Tara’s cheek. Lifting her hand to cup Tara’s other cheek and strokes it gently with her fingertips. “I know someone that wants to be at the front of that line.” Buffy presses her lips softly against her cheek again before easing from Tara’s embrace and heading out of the bedroom without giving the stunned Wiccan a chance to do or say anything.

Tara swallows hard and raises a hand to her cheek where Buffy’s lips had softly caressed over the flesh. Feeling the flush of desire coming through her body at the thought of Buffy caring for her and wanting to date her though worried at the same time. Slowly shaking her head, Tara’s eyes become worried as she wonders if it’s simply because of the help she’d given her is the reason why Buffy’s ‘attached’ herself to her. Running a hand through her hair, Tara turns, grabs her tennis shoes and slides them on, tying them quickly before grabbing her book bag and trotting down the stairs, not daring to think too much about Buffy’s actions until they’ve had a chance to discuss things a little more in depth.

Hurrying into the kitchen, Tara opens the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of juice before grabbing an apple out of the basket on the island, looking at Willow who seems somewhat subdued as she walks into the kitchen.

Willow watches as Tara opens her juice after shaking it, taking a sip. Taking a deep breath to get her thoughts in order, Willow finally just plunges in and asks the question that she needs to. “Is there any chance you’ll take me back?”

Tara hurriedly sets down her juice bottle and stares at Willow, the question coming as somewhat of a shock to her. “Do you want a simple yes or no answer, or something more?” Tara finally questions.

Willow swallows and looks up into shuttered blue eyes before whispering. “Yes or no will be good enough.” She admits, though wanting more, but realizing she has no right to ask for anything from this woman she’d betrayed so badly, along with her best friend that she’s caused so much pain and heartache. 

Tara slowly shakes her head. “I can’t, Willow. You destroyed something in our relationship that I desperately need, and we’ll never be able to get it back.”

Willow feels the tears coming to her eyes even as she nods her head in acceptance. “I know this is late, but I’m sorry for everything I did. I never realized how much I was hurting everyone. I never meant to do that, and I hope one day you can forgive me.” Willow looks up into surprised blue eyes. “I’m not going to fight you, Tara. You or Buffy. Someone brought it to my attention that Buffy could have come back a thousand times worse than she did, and I know you’re helping her to get better. She couldn’t be in better hands.” Willow allows a small tremulous smile to cross her lips as she looks at Tara. “Take care of her, Tara. I know that you two care for each other it’s in the way you look and act towards each other. If something should happen between you… Not that you need or want it, but you have my blessing. Amy and I are going to visit a Coven outside of LA this weekend, to see if we can get some help. If we can, we’ll probably be there over the summer and possibly even longer, depending on how things go. But I’ll probably move back into my parents’ house to give you guys more privacy when I get back. I know I’ve made things more tense than they need to be, and I’m really, truly sorry for that. I want to start doing things right, instead of wrong, but I know it isn’t something I can do by myself. I need help, and like a foolish know-it-all, I refused your help. I’m sorry for that, but then again, they say hindsight’s twenty-twenty.” Willow hurriedly rambles off with barely a breath between sentences. “Good luck, and… I love you both.” Willow hurriedly runs out of the kitchen and out of the house.

Tara blinks as her mind tries to make sense of Willow’s fast ramble, trying to decipher what her ex-lover had said and understand it, unaware of Buffy coming into the room.

Buffy slowly walks into the kitchen, staring at the stunned and silent Wiccan. Having stayed close by in case anything happened, Buffy looks worriedly into Tara’s eyes. “Tara?” Buffy finally whispers, trying to catch Tara’s attention.

Tara blinks and stares into worried hazel eyes. “Buffy? What happened?”

Buffy smiles sadly at Tara. “Willow’s grown up and is taking responsibility for her actions.” Buffy explains, searching Tara’s eyes, wondering how the Wiccan is going to take the comments Willow made about the two of them possibly becoming a couple. “You’re going to be late for class if you don’t hurry.” 

Tara tries to make sense of what Buffy said, Willow’s words still not coming together in her brain. Letting Buffy gently usher her out of the house, Tara automatically climbs behind the wheel, her brain starting to function again as she starts the Jeep, her eyes lingering on Buffy standing on the porch watching her. 

Buffy tucks her hands in her pockets as Tara backs the Jeep out of the driveway before waving to her and heading down the road. “I really need to find something to do, to keep myself busy during the day.” Buffy admits quietly to herself as she looks at the yard and flower beds, having already whipped them back into shape, understanding a little better how her mom considered it her ‘therapy’. Sighing softly, Buffy looks at the clouds lazily drifting by. “Maybe I should just tell Tara I like her as more than a friend. But does she care for me in that way? I mean, I know she’s mentioned a few times about being physically attracted to me, but she’s never hit on me.” Buffy grumbles quietly before slowly turning around and heading back into the house. Grabbing the newspaper, she plops down on the couch and flips it open, deciding to look at the help wanted ads.


	10. Chapter 10

Tara grabs the grocery bags and heads into the house, frowning at the quietness. “Buffy?” Tara calls out, knowing Dawn was staying at a friend’s house, which has almost become an every other weekend occurrence. Not getting an answer, Tara sighs quietly and heads to the kitchen, putting away the pork chops she’d bought, planning on making Buffy’s favorite items for dinner that night.

Folding the bags, Tara tucks them away outside in the garage, smiling at the sight of the cleaned out area, everything stowed away where it belongs, Buffy having been working on cleaning out all the different parts of the house while looking for something to occupy her time. Having tried to talk her into taking college courses again to no avail, Tara flicks the light off and closes the door. Working her way through the house before jogging lightly up the stairs, Tara looks into Willow’s old room. Noticing that the last few things Willow had left in there are gone, Tara leans against the doorframe for a moment, thinking about the redhead. 

Remembering Willow introducing her to Amy, surprised at the young witch when she asked if she could talk to her alone. When Amy questioned her on how Buffy was handling being back, and explained what she knew about the spell Willow had done, Tara had been surprised and curious about what Amy knew about the spell. The ex-rat having told her what she remembered from her mother’s book before promising to bring it by and drop it off at a future date for Tara to have. Admitting she didn’t want to be tempted, that she and Willow were planning on cleaning their act up, but right now it was a temptation probably best not anywhere near either of them, if ever.

Having been surprised at Amy’s comments at first, Tara realized that the young woman being a rat for the last few years probably made her look at her life a little differently now. Along with the fact it probably left a seriously bad taste in her mouth in regards to magic. Turning slowly, Tara makes her way to her and Buffy’s room. It takes a moment for it to actually sink in that the room is in shambles. Swallowing hard at the sight of what had obviously been a book, but was now just papers strewn all about the room along with the mirror smashed above the dresser. Whimpering at the sight of the blood drops now visible, Tara takes in the rest of the carnage in the room. “Oh, Buffy. What happened?” Tara questions the empty room, the worry obvious as she tries to figure out what happened. 

***

Buffy’s hands shake as she reads Catherine Madison’s magic book. Seeing in black and white what was done and what could have happened, hitting her hard. Angrily ripping the book in two, flinging the two halves so the pages fly about the room, she literally tears off the doors to the closet, sending them crashing behind her in the room as she yanks out weapons, feeling the urge to do some serious damage to something evil, a small part of her brain understanding that she can’t take it out on the person she really wants to. 

Happening to glance over into the mirror as she’s passing it, Buffy stops and stares at the angry looking woman staring back at her, hardly recognizing herself before slamming her fist into the mirror, ignoring the pain of the broken glass imbedded into her knuckles and hand as she runs out of the house and out the back door, letting it slam shut behind her as she heads out the back gate, yanking the manhole cover off and dropping down into the sewers to hunt for anything to take her anger and pain out on.

***

Tara runs a hand over the pages of the book, having finally come across what most likely set Buffy off, having spent the last two hours cleaning up their bedroom and trying to put the book back in order. Unconsciously rubbing the palm of her hand where a piece of mirror had sliced it. Tara plays with the edge of tape holding the gauze in place. Sighing heavily, she looks at the clock once more. “Sorry, honey. But I need to know you’re okay.” Tara whispers to the silent house. Gathering a few stakes, tucking them away in her cargo pants along with her own ‘weapons’ of choice, Tara calms her racing heart, taking deep slow breaths until she’s calmed down enough to whisper the spell that will lead her to Buffy. 

***

Buffy snarls angrily as she slams the demon into the concrete wall of the sewer system, ducking automatically as she feels a presence behind her. Buffy kicks back with all her strength grinning at the satisfying cry of pain and crunch of bones. Slamming her fist into the demon’s stomach, Buffy curls her nose up in disgust as she pulls her fist out of the hole, shaking the demon guts out onto the floor. “Gross.” Finally taking pity on the demon she’d been fighting for the last fifteen minutes, Buffy quickly slices its head off with her short sword before turning around to look at the demon that had tried to come up behind her. 

Shaking her head at the small, dead demon with the broken neck, Buffy quickly takes its head to be on the safe side before wiping the sword clean on its clothes before striding out of the dead end to work her way down another section of the tunnel. Her anger still glowing brightly inside her, but it’s more focused, where when she’d first come down here, she’d just been attacking anything and everything, even to the point of having taken some pretty brutal hits, rubbing the side of her face, wincing slightly at the sting. Remembering seeing a water faucet a short distance back, Buffy backtracks and kneels turning it on. Quickly washing her hands and arms, she brings the clean water up to rinse her face before trailing her fingers down the jagged cut. “Fuck, when did that happen?” Buffy leans down and lets the water run a little more over the wound, cleansing it as well as she can before turning the water off and running her hands through her hair, leaving it damp. 

Not knowing how long she’s been down here, Buffy debates for a few minutes on whether to continue hunting for more demons or head up top and find out what time it is, possibly doing a regular patrol before heading home and seeing how fucked up her face is going to be.

Frowning as the area starts to lighten Buffy turns around, seeing a small light heading towards her. Not feeling anything remotely evil or demon-y, Buffy tucks away the sword and crosses her arms over her chest waiting to see what’s heading her way.

***

Tara breathes a quiet sigh of relief as the dim light brightens perceptibly as she finally comes across Buffy. Now close enough to feel the slayer’s anger, wincing hard as she gets closer, quickly putting her shields up on full force at the centered and red hot, almost piercing anger coming from Buffy. Whispering softly to make the tracer light just lighten the area as she slows down, allowing the light to illuminate her instead of hide her. 

Buffy doesn’t know whether to feel happy or even angrier as Tara becomes visible to her, the anger winning out, Buffy growls roughly at the blonde Wiccan. “What the fuck are you doing down here? Are you fucking insane?”

“No more than you, obviously.” Tara murmurs, trying not to jerk at the anger now being focused on her. 

“I can take care of myself.” Buffy unconsciously closes the distance between her and Tara. “I’m doing my job. Now get the hell out of here and go back home!”

“No.” Tara answers simply, fighting the urge to turn tail and run as she’s bombarded with Buffy’s anger. Not able to stop the wince of pain and her uncontrollable step back.

Buffy growls deeply, taking the additional two steps, putting her body literally an inch from Tara. “Go the fuck back up top and go home! I don’t want or need you!”

Tara turns her head as her heart hurts at the slayer’s angry words. Knowing Buffy is just angry right now, but her words still slicing her to the quick. Knowing better than to open herself to see the slayer’s aura, and soul, the slayer’s feelings so raw and powerful that they would literally incapacitate her right now, Tara shakes her head. “If you don’t want or need me, fine. I’ll be more than happy to leave you alone… after you let me clean and fix your wounds.” Tara looks back at the slayer’s bruised and battered body and face, the jagged cut across her face worrying her. “Please, Buffy. No comments and no talking. Let me help you then I’ll leave you alone.” Tara begs softly.

Buffy clenches her jaw tightly. Her anger fighting against her mind as she mentally debates on following Tara, or taking off knowing there is no way Tara would be able to keep up with her. Though she could still follow her… and possibly end up getting hurt. Spinning around, Buffy slams her fist in the wall, ignoring the pain shooting up her arm and the concrete falling from the fist-sized hole now in the wall of the tunnel. Striding the four yards give or take to the entrance up top, Buffy climbs up it without saying a word, pushing up on the manhole cover, looking out to see where she is, surprised to find that she’d circled around under the town and was less than five blocks from her house. Pushing the cover the rest of the way to the side, she climbs out surprised at the darkened sky. 

Tara sighs softly and quickly follows Buffy, whispering the words needed to end the spell, Tara watches as Buffy replaces the manhole cover and starts to stride towards Revello Drive. Surprised to realize it had taken her longer than she thought to find Buffy if the darkness is anything to go by. Hurrying after her, Tara’s eyes take in the dirty, disheveled, bruised, cut and limping slayer. Practically jogging to keep up with the ground eating, angry strides Tara fights the urge to talk. Knowing she’d promised her, but wanting to know what’s going through Buffy’s head. Sighing softly, Tara runs a hand through her hair, before letting it rub at the back of her neck, trying to relieve some of the tension and pain that she’s feeling caused by Buffy’s emotions battering against her senses.

Buffy unlocks the door and takes the stairs three at a time, heading straight to the bathroom, stripping her clothes off without a care before turning the water on to the shower, ignoring Tara coming in behind her and gathering her clothes. Thankful in a way that Tara has decided to not say anything, like she’d promised. Stepping under the hot stream of water, Buffy allows it to rinse over her for a few minutes, ignoring the sting of the water hitting her many wounds. Finally grabbing the shampoo, she works on cleaning her body from top to bottom.

Tara places Buffy’s destroyed clothes in the trash before silently placing a couple fresh towels on the sink. Hurrying back downstairs, she pulls the large first aid kit out of the closet, carrying it back upstairs to the bathroom. Clearing the vanity of the make-up, brushes and other items, she settles the kit gently on top and opens it, pulling out the alcohol, swabs, antibiotic cream, bandages, suture kits and tweezers. Turning on the bright make-up lights on the vanity, and the additional light above the sink to make the bathroom as bright as possible, Tara pushes up her sleeves and waits for Buffy to finish with her shower.

Buffy turns the water off and runs shaky hands through her hair, the long shower having helped her anger settle somewhat. Pulling back the shower curtain, she steps out onto the bath mat, grabbing one of the towels Tara had obviously gotten her, her eyes landing on the blonde who’s sitting on the floor, her chin on her chest and her arms resting over her knees to hang almost limply. Drying her body automatically, she watches as Tara doesn’t move. Becoming worried, Buffy looks intently over the Wiccan’s body, sighing in relief when she doesn’t see any physical damage. Tossing the towel into the hamper, she shifts the chair in front of the vanity out and settles on it, her mind going back to the first time Tara had helped her, remembering the tender touches and caring nature. 

Tara finally lifts her head as she hears Buffy move the chair and the slight squeak it always makes when someone sits in it. Wearily pushing herself up off the floor, she looks at the battered slayer. Deciding to start at the top and work her way down, Tara grabs the alcohol and gauze pads. Kneeling beside Buffy, Tara doesn’t make eye contact as she starts to cleanse the gash on the slayer’s face, realizing too much healing has already happened to make stitching it prudent. 

Buffy watches Tara for a few minutes as the woman works on cleaning the wounds on her face, her eyes trying to catch Tara’s, but the Wiccan not willing to make eye contact. Sighing internally, Buffy drops her gaze to her hands, plucking at a piece of glass still imbedded in her knuckles as Tara gently places butterfly bandages on the major wound before continuing to work her way down her body.

“Leave it. I’ll get it.” Tara whispers after seeing what Buffy is doing, having started working on the wounds on the slayer’s arms and upper chest. Skipping down to her hands, Tara cleans them gently before grabbing the tweezers to gently remove the piece of glass. Looking over the flesh intently, she sees a couple more slivers and gently removes them before cleaning the wounds again and carefully bandaging them.

Gently clenching and unclenching her hands, Buffy’s eyes stay on Tara as the Wiccan finishes taking care of her wounds. As Tara grabs the ace bandage and gently starts to wrap her swollen ankle, Buffy waits until she’s done. Starting to open her mouth, she snaps it shut quickly as Tara starts to speak.

“I would suggest icing your ribs and your ankle.” Tara still doesn’t look into Buffy’s eyes as she quickly packs everything away, taking the first aid kit and striding out of the bathroom without another word.

Buffy drops her chin on her chest, sighing loudly. Not knowing what to do, Buffy sits on the chair for a while, unaware of how much time has passed before she finally stands. Replacing everything back to where it belongs, she grabs her hairbrush and runs it through her hair to get the majority of the tangles out before finally looking in the mirror, wincing at the bruised and swollen face looking back at her. Lifting her hand to touch the edge of the bandage Tara had placed on her cheek Buffy pulls it away after a few minutes and grabs her toothbrush. Brushing her teeth quickly, Buffy turns off the lights and makes her way to their bedroom. Glancing at the clock, she’s surprised to see it’s almost one in the morning. Pulling on her robe, she ties it haphazardly around her waist before heading towards the stairs. Making her way quietly down them, stopping halfway when she notices Tara curled up on the couch in a tight ball, her back towards the room. Slowly finishing her descent down the stairs, she takes a couple steps towards the couch, stopping when she notices Tara stiffening. 

Feeling the slayer come closer to her, Tara can’t help but stiffen. Honestly knowing she won’t be able to deal with having a discussion right now with the woman, though she does feel slightly relieved at the lack of anger coming at her from Buffy, though still getting a low current of it. Wrapping her arms more tightly around her body, Tara closes her eyes tightly trying to keep from sobbing out loud. It having taken everything in her not to question Buffy, beg her to tell her what she’s feeling or to ask if she really didn’t want or need her. 

Buffy’s hands tighten convulsively as she stares at Tara’s back. Swearing she sees her shoulders shaking slightly, though she doesn’t hear anything. Finally heading into the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water her eyes land on the large package of pork chops that she knows wasn’t there earlier that day. 

Resting her forehead against the freezer as she continues to stare into the refrigerator, seeing the large block of Velveeta cheese, realizing Tara had planned on making her favorites for dinner tonight, or last night as the case may be. Finally shutting the refrigerator door, Buffy flicks off the light as she makes her way back through the house, standing by the stairs and staring at Tara’s back. “Are you coming upstairs?” Buffy finally questions hoarsely, her shoulders dropping like the weight of the world is on them when all she receives is a slight shake of the head from Tara. At a loss as to what to say or do, Buffy finally turns and slowly makes her way up the stairs and to their bedroom. Actually looking this time, she notices that Tara had obviously picked up the mess she’d made and the book was nowhere in sight. Not knowing, and really not caring what Tara did with the book, Buffy shuts off the light and moves to the front window, staring out at the night occasionally sipping from her bottle as she wonders if she’s managed to scare Tara away for good this time.

***

Tara slowly rolls over onto her back, and rests her hands on her stomach as she stares up at the ceiling. Feeling Buffy’s unrest and worry almost like a physical pain, knowing the slayer isn’t even attempting to rest. Sighing quietly, Tara brushes a tear that escaped from her eye away from her cheek. Wondering what’s going to become of the two of them. Having almost believed that Buffy liked her in more than a friend way, but wondering exactly how much of it is just because she’s been helping her. Throwing an arm across her eyes, Tara fights the tears that want to fall. Her feelings for the slayer stronger than anything she’s ever felt before, the anger and rage being pointed towards her earlier with Buffy’s hurtful comments that she didn’t want or need her, striking a blow to her heart. Not knowing what to do, but needing to know if what Buffy had read had set her back, Tara swallows hard as she slowly lowers her shields so she can see how her soul and spirit are doing.

Whimpering quietly as the crack that had been slowly closing had obviously widened to the point of where it had been originally, Tara finally lets the tears fall. All the hard work they’d done for practically the past two months for naught. 

“Goddess, do we start over? Or will she even think about letting me help her now? And Goddess help me, but do I want her to know how I feel now with everything that’s happened and happening?” Tara whispers softly, quietly sobbing as she closes her eyes. The emotional roller coaster ride finally taking its toll on her, Tara falls into an uneasy sleep, tears occasionally slipping out from between closed eyelids along with the occasional whimper.

***

Buffy tilts her head as she can barely hear Tara whispering something. Not able to make it out, she slowly steps out of the bedroom to the top of the stairs. Stepping down onto the landing, she looks at the Wiccan, frowning heavily as she sees the tears slowly trailing down from her eyes and the quiet sobs and whimpers coming from her as the night progresses. Finally not being able to take it anymore, Buffy quietly steps down the stairs. Easing down onto one knee, she gently wiggles her arms underneath Tara. Picking her up, she cradles the sleeping woman against her body and makes her way slowly up the stairs.

Pressing her lips to Tara’s forehead, Buffy gently eases down onto the bed, continuing to hold Tara against her. Brushing her cheek against Tara as the woman snuggles against her, burying her face in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry.” Buffy whispers to the sleeping woman as she remembers what she’d said to her and the anger she’d directed at her. “I don’t know why you don’t run away from me and just leave me, Tara. I’ve probably caused you ten times the pain Willow ever has.” Running a hand through Tara’s hair, Buffy leans back against the headboard and closes her eyes. Working on the meditations that Tara taught her, silently wishing the Wiccan was awake to help her, feeling the difference of not having her calming influence to help guide her, but continuing on stubbornly anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

Tara rubs her face against Buffy’s shoulder as she slowly wakes, before stiffening as the previous night’s occurrences come back in a flood.

“Shhh.” Buffy whispers softly, brushing her lips gently over Tara’s forehead. “Don’t run away from me, please. I don’t think I could take losing you on top of everything else, Tara.” Buffy unconsciously rocks back and forth, holding tightly onto the Wiccan. “Promise me you won’t go. Please? I didn’t mean it, I promise.” Buffy begs quietly, unaware of the tears trailing faster and faster down her cheeks, her eyes closed as she continues to hold onto Tara and rock her.

Tara shifts slightly, wrapping an arm around Buffy’s neck, while raising her other hand to gently stroke Buffy’s cheek, pressing a firm kiss to her temple. “I’m here, Buffy. I promise. I promise.” Tara whimpers softly at the pain coming from Buffy, along with the hurt, knowing part of it’s because she’s afraid that she’ll leave her. 

Buffy brushes her cheek against Tara’s hand, frowning as she realizes there’s a bandage on the palm. Turning her head, she looks at Tara’s hand and reaches up to grab it, gently pulling the bandage away, frowning even harder at the relatively deep cut across Tara’s palm. “What…?” Buffy turns her gaze to look at Tara.

“An accident.” Tara shakes her head, smiling sadly at Buffy, shifting up to press her lips to her forehead. “Just an accident.”

Buffy searches Tara’s eyes for a few minutes before looking back at the cut. Gently pressing her lips to the wound, she carefully covers it back over, tucking Tara’s hand against her chest. “Cleaning up my mess, you cut yourself on the glass didn’t you?” Buffy finally questions a few minutes later as she tries to figure out how Tara hurt herself.

“Not paying attention to what I was doing, I cut myself.” Tara offers instead, slowly leaning her head down, burying it against Buffy’s neck. “What are we going to do, Buffy?”

“I don’t know.” Buffy tilts her head to lean it against Tara’s, sighing heavily. “When I read what the book said, I just felt my world crumble. The anger I felt towards Willow and what she’d done was overpowering. What if I had come back nothing better than an animal, Tara? There’s no way anyone would have been able to stop me, without putting a bullet in me…”

“No, Buffy!” Tara presses her fingers against Buffy’s lips to keep her from continuing. “You can’t think about that. It didn’t happen that way, and there is absolutely NO reason to think along those lines. We all have enough on our plates already without dealing with ‘what ifs’.”

Buffy lets herself look into Tara’s worried blue eyes, realizing they’re more of a grayish blue at this moment. Gently stroking her fingertips over Tara’s cheek, Buffy gives in to her desires and leans in to kiss Tara softly across the lips, a soft moan escaping her as she makes contact with the softest lips she could ever imagine.

Surprised at first, Tara soon finds herself returning the soft caress, whimpering as she feels Buffy’s tongue stroking gently between her lips, silently asking for entrance. Finally granting it, Tara’s hand clenches in the slayer’s hair as Buffy doesn’t waste any time in exploring her mouth.

Growling softly at the heat of desire flowing through her, Buffy increases the pressure and hunger of the kiss enjoying the fact that Tara’s meeting her halfway as they start to battle strongly against each other. 

Finally ending the kiss, Tara tilts her forehead against Buffy’s, panting heavily as she tries to get control of her emotions and desire, groaning quietly as Buffy’s fingers start to caress firmly over her upper thigh. “I don’t think this is a s-smart thing to do right now.” Tara whispers as she slowly eases back so she can look into Buffy’s eyes, surprised at the flame of desire and want burning brightly in her hazel eyes. 

“Why not?” Buffy hardly recognizes her own voice it’s so low and rough.

Tara tugs gently on Buffy’s hair, the roughness of the slayer’s voice making her body pound even more with desire, unconsciously wiggling slightly to try and relieve the ache between her legs. “Because it has the p-potential to hurt both of us.” Tara admits quietly, her eyes sad as she looks into Buffy’s eyes. “We’re together almost all the t-time, Buffy. I’m afraid because I’ve been trying to help you that you are l-letting that cloud your judgment. Maybe thinking your thankfulness is s-something more.”

Buffy watches as Tara finally drops her eyes after she finishes speaking. Closing her own eyes, she slowly shakes her head. “I care for you, Tara. Am I thankful? Yes. Am I sorry for the pain I’ve caused you? God!! You don’t know how much. Am I transferring my caring for you as a friend into something more? I don’t think so.” Buffy shakes her head, finally easing her eyes open, silently pleading with Tara to look at her. As Tara finally lifts her head and eyes, making contact with hers, Buffy brushes her lips over Tara’s once more. “I care for you as more than a friend, Tara. A lot more.”

Sliding her hand that she had left tucked against Buffy’s chest, upwards to let her thumb brush over kiss-swollen lips, Tara sighs quietly. “Your emotions are all over the place right now, Buffy. Why d-don’t we take a step back that way you can think about it?” 

Buffy growls softly, opening her mouth to capture Tara’s thumb gently between her teeth, flicking her tongue over it. Her lips quirking upwards around the digit as Tara groans loudly, and the smell of arousal coming from the woman seems to almost triple. As Tara shifts slightly again, Buffy releases the thumb, and allows her lips to smile fully.

Tara groans as she looks at the mischief starting to come into Buffy’s eyes. “Go ahead and say whatever it is you want to say, Buffy.” Tara finally growls the words loudly. 

“Well first off, I don’t need to take a step back. But out of deference for your wishes, I will.” Buffy offers, becoming serious for a moment, and leaning in to brush her lips over Tara’s again, loving the taste of the Wiccan. “Secondly, I still want to know if you have any body piercings anywhere.” Buffy quirks her eyebrow up, the mischievousness coming back into her eyes.

“Already told you…” Tara starts, being stopped by Buffy’s mouth covering hers and kissing her thoroughly. Blinking as Buffy finally pulls away, Tara tries to remember what she was going to say.

“You tell me once more that only someone that knows you intimately or your personal doctor, there won’t be any waiting.” Buffy warns very seriously. As Tara grins crookedly at her Buffy growls deeply, her hands already heading towards the edge of Tara’s shirt, pushing it up.

“BUFFY!” Tara yells, as Buffy quickly pulls her shirt up and over her head, the slayer’s nimble fingers at the back of her bra already unhooking it and sliding the straps over her shoulders. Crossing an arm across her chest, Tara blushes darkly. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

“Checking you out plus doing a little investigating.” Buffy’s eyes glimmer with amusement as she looks into Tara’s wide eyes. “I figure it’s only fair, you’ve seen me multiple times, so I figure it’s time for me to see you in less than your underwear.” Buffy lets her fingers trail over Tara’s soft skin and up her side to play along her ribs. 

Tara blushes even darker and shakes her head. “But you were hurt and I w-was helping you.” Tara points out the difference of what she’d done and what Buffy was doing.

Buffy sighs quietly and leans forward, pressing her head gently against Tara’s shoulder. “Do you care for me, Tara?” Buffy finally questions quietly. “In more than a friend way?”

Tara blinks in surprise at the slayer’s questions, never having expected Buffy to come right out and question her on her feelings. Not knowing what to do, she sits there quietly.

“Please, Tara. It won’t change us being friends, I promise. But I need to know.” Buffy finally begs, her emotions starting to swirl around again, fighting to try and keep control. “God! I feel like I’m back to where I was at before when I first came back.” Buffy whispers shifting her hand that had still been stroking over the warm flesh of the Wiccan to run roughly through her hair and rub the back of her neck.

“You basically are.” Tara answers the non-question, sighing quietly as she feels the slight stiffening of the slayer. “And yes, I care for you in more than a f-friend way, Buffy.” 

“But you’re afraid?” Buffy questions intuitively. 

Tara slowly nods her head and answers simply. “Yes.” 

“Why?” Buffy shifts to look at Tara silently begging her to help her understand. 

Tara nibbles on her bottom lip and looks into confused hazel eyes. “That’s not an easy question to answer, Buffy.” Tara admits, slowly shifting the arm that she has covering her breasts to reach up and gently trail down the slayer’s cheek, just on the edge of the bandage running down it. “I’m falling in love with you, Buffy. And I’m s-scared that what you’re feeling for me is just…” Tara shrugs her shoulders, not really knowing how to explain it. 

“How can I prove to you that I really do care for you?” Buffy questions softly, closing her eyes at the tender touch as Tara’s fingers brush lightly over her face and neck.

“Time, I guess.” Tara brushes her lips over Buffy’s forehead. “When you’re healed we’ll go from there. That way you have a chance to examine your f-feelings a little better without everything else b-bombarding you at the same time.”

Buffy growls loudly, burying her face in the crook of Tara’s neck her hand grasping the Wiccan’s waist firmly. “Tara, we’ve been working on me getting better for two months, and in one night I fucked it all up. The rate I’m going, I’ll be lucky to be ‘healed’ in a year’s time. I don’t want to wait that long, and I’m really sick and fucking tired of my emotional roller coaster.”

“We’ll double-up on your meditations, and try a couple different spiritual cleansings to see if that might help.” Tara offers softly. “Right now, I want to check out your wounds and see how they’re healing.” 

Buffy’s hand slides up to her cheek. “It’s probably going to scar, isn’t it?” Buffy finally questions, already knowing the answer, but wanting Tara’s honest opinion.

“Honestly, it probably will. But you don’t scar badly, and it probably won’t even be noticeable, especially with make-up if you’re worried about it.” Tara worriedly brushes her fingertips over Buffy’s hand that’s still playing with the bandage. 

“Would you still love me, even if I was scarred?” Buffy finally questions after a few minutes.

“I love the person, Buffy. Not the package.” Tara whispers, brushing her lips over Buffy’s other cheek. Honestly not even paying attention or seeing the bruising and scratches that were healing, just seeing the woman that she’s fallen in love with. 

Buffy has to smile at the honest sincerity in Tara’s words and tone. Knowing instinctively that that’s what the woman would say, but feeling better once she hears the words coming from her. “But the package does play a part, right?” Buffy jokes and wiggles her eyebrows slightly.

Tara growls playfully at the slayer before leaning down to nip gently on her bottom lip. “The package definitely plays a part and is absolutely gorgeous. I’m afraid that I don’t measure up.” Tara blushes lightly, as she thinks about her fuller figure compared to the slayer’s slim, athletic figure.

Buffy slowly shakes her head, finally allowing her eyes to take in Tara’s chest, moaning quietly at the full, soft-looking breasts, the rosy colored areolas and soft nipples. Buffy growls softly as the areolas start to crinkle and the nipples slowly harden as she looks at them, her eyes jerking up to look at the blushing Wiccan. “You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. As a matter of fact…” Buffy trails off, letting her eyes drop again to Tara’s chest, unconsciously licking her lips at the full breasts, surprised at the arousal starting to ease from her body with just the sight of the woman in front of her. Buffy slowly runs her hand up Tara’s side, unaware of having moved it out from under Tara’s hand. The woman’s skin so soft and warm, Buffy’s eyes darken with desire as her fingertips finally caress over the swell of Tara’s breast. 

“Buffy…” Tara whimpers quietly as strong, curious fingers start to stroke over her breast, teasingly not coming into contact with her aching nipple, but circling and stroking all the flesh around it, even kneading and squeezing gently.

Buffy slowly learns the texture and feel of Tara’s breast, fighting the desire to pinch and twist the hardened nipple to see if Tara enjoys it as much as she does when the pleasure borders just slightly on pain without actually crossing over. 

“Buffy, please.” Tara finally grasps the slayer’s hand, easing it down her body to rest on her thigh, panting heavily at the desire coursing through her from the slayer’s caresses. 

Buffy growls loudly as her hand is removed from the place she wants to spend hours learning. Shaking her head slightly, Buffy finally shakes off some of the desire she’s feeling and looks over Tara’s desire flushed body, noticing the difference immediately from Tara’s blushing. A small smile crosses her face at the light pinkness of Tara’s chest and how the heavy breathing is making Tara’s breasts move up and down enticingly. “No piercing.” Buffy finally comments, just now noticing that Tara’s breasts are free of any kind of piercing.

Tara has to chuckle at the slight sound of disappointment in the slayer’s tones. “You sound disappointed.”

Buffy nods her head, her eyes staying on the Wiccan’s breasts, eyes narrowing as a wicked smile comes across her face. Starting to dip her head down, she grunts as a hand grabs hold of her hair to keep her from coming closer to her goal.

“No you don’t.” Tara shakes her head. “I’m already one step away from exploding, if you do what you’re planning on doing that’ll be all it’ll take.” Tara quickly shifts and moves off Buffy’s lap, rolling off the bed and grabbing her shirt to yank back on.

Buffy groans and falls over onto her side, watching Tara pull her shirt on and cover the delectable looking breasts. “Damn.” Buffy grumbles rubbing a hand across her eyes as she fights the desire working through her own body. “Is it normal to be turned on just by the sight of someone?” Buffy finally questions after a few minutes, not looking at Tara.

“It depends on how attracted you are to the person, I guess.” Tara shrugs her shoulders as she stares down at the slayer. 

“I’ve never just looked at someone and been turned on before, Tara.” Buffy growls, pulling her hand away from her eyes so she can look at the Wiccan. “It takes being touched, kissed… basically I need a helping hand. Sometimes kissing didn’t even turn me on.”

“You’ve done more than just look, Buffy.” Tara points out, grinning crookedly at the slayer.

“Uh, huh.” Buffy props her chin up on her hand and stares at Tara. Deciding not to admit to the blonde that she’d been turned on before watching her just do normal things around the house, like vacuuming and cooking. Admittedly it was just a low buzz of arousal, but a lot more than she’d felt in the past with some of her lovers after they’d been making out for ten to fifteen minutes. 

Tara taps Buffy on the nose. “Now that we’re more or less on an even keel, let me look at your wounds.” Tara orders quietly as she heads towards the door.

“Tara?” Buffy hesitantly whispers before Tara makes it completely out of the room, watching as Tara turns to look at her with a questioning look on her face. “I really am sorry for being an ass yesterday.” Buffy continues softly.

Tara sees the deep regret and pain in Buffy’s eyes, and smiles softly at the slayer, forgiving her completely. “It’ll be okay, Buffy. I promise. Do you want me to bring the kit in here, or do you want to do this in the bathroom?”

Buffy tilts her head as she thinks for a few minutes. “I need to go to the bathroom, so if you want, we can meet back in here?”

“You and me both.” Tara grumbles, smiling quickly at Buffy as the slayer chuckles softly. “I’ll be quick, and then the bathroom’s all yours.” Tara offers as she hurries from the bedroom.

Buffy stares at the empty doorway, thinking about Tara. “I do love you, Tara whether you believe it or not.” Buffy whispers as she waits for Tara to finish in the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

“How bad is it?” Buffy questions soberly, as Tara gently cleans the wound on her face.

“It’ll scar.” Tara admits, her eyes flickering to make contact with Buffy’s for a moment. “How did it happen?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Buffy rolls her eyes at the admittance. “All I can remember is a demon had something in its hand and swung at me while another one had hold of me. Before I could get loose it connected. That’s the only thing that I remember that could have done it.”

Tara winces slightly. Reaching down for the antibiotic ointment, she gently works it into the healing wound. “I know your slayer healing keeps scarring to a minimum, so it won’t be bad. But it is there and it’ll probably be noticeable unless you wear make-up to cover it up once it’s healed.” Tara explains quietly, carefully working the ointment into the area close to Buffy’s eye, thankful that it hadn’t hit her there, as she probably would have lost her sight. “How do your ribs and ankle feel?”

“Ribs achy, ankle a little bit off but okay.” Buffy looks down at her ankle and the bandage still wrapped around it. 

“You didn’t ice them down last night, did you?” Tara purses her lips as Buffy shakes her head. Sighing softly, Tara finishes working antibiotic cream into the other scrapes, though most of them were healed enough to not need it, but deciding it won’t hurt. “Can I see your ribs?” Tara steps back, letting Buffy pull off her shirt. Gently pulling the closures from the cloth, Tara unwinds the wrap and looks at Buffy’s ribs. “Are they broken?”

“A couple.” Buffy admits, gently twisting her body around, trying to loosen up the stiffness as Tara’s fingers gently probe the area. 

“It’s too late to worry about icing them down now. They’ll be healed in what, another day or two?” Tara glances up at Buffy to see her nod. “Should I re-wrap them?”

Buffy moves around a little more, and shakes her head. “You don’t have to. They’re healed enough to where they don’t really need the support.”

Tara looks over the other bruising and hurt areas, checking to make sure they seem to be healing fine as she works her way down Buffy’s body. Checking the slice on her leg, she gently places more antibiotic ointment on it after pulling off the bandage. “Go ahead and sit down, I’ll unwrap your ankle and see how it is.”

Buffy shifted back and sat down on the edge of the bed watching as Tara kneels on the floor, gently lifting her foot and unwrapping the Ace bandage. 

Looking at the lightly bruised ankle, Tara gently runs her fingers over it before rotating it while looking up at Buffy. “You could have put your top back on, you know.” Tara points to the item sitting on the bed beside Buffy.

Buffy smirks and shakes her head. “Why would I want to do that?”

“To help me keep my sanity.” Tara mumbles quietly. “How does this feel?”

“A little twinge here and there, but it’ll probably be pretty much healed by tonight.” Buffy’s hand goes to her stomach as it makes an ungodly rumbling noise.

Tara chuckles and looks at the slayer’s stomach. “Sounds like you might have swallowed a demon or two last night instead of just wiping them out.” Patting Buffy’s ankle she sets it down and stands. “I’ll go fix breakfast, any requests?”

Buffy shrugs. “Whatever’s easiest to make.”

“And fastest, right?” Tara laughs as Buffy’s stomach rumbles again, and the slayer looks at it in disgust.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Buffy grabs her shirt and pulls it on. “I’ll help. Maybe scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage links and toast?” 

“Can’t get much easier than that.” Tara chuckles as she jogs down the stairs.

“Easy, she says. I burn everything I try to make.” Buffy grumbles as she follows Tara down the stairs at a more sedate pace not wanting to push her ankle too much.

***

“Are you sure you’re not doing this to try and sneak in a quick grope?” Buffy questions as she sits between Tara’s legs, her back pressed against the Wiccan’s chest. Having to admit she’s enjoying the closeness.

“I haven’t been the one feeling you up in the middle of the night.” Tara growls softly in Buffy’s ear, smirking as Buffy blushes darkly.

“I wasn’t feeling you up. I was just trying to see where, if anywhere, you might have a piercing.” Buffy tells on herself, blushing even darker at the knowing laughter coming from Tara.

“Busted.” Tara chuckles. “No, no free feels.” Tara strokes her fingers gently over Buffy’s stomach, her hands under the slayer’s top as they sit in the back yard. “I want to try something different on the meditations we’ve been doing, and it is better done Sky clad, but as long as we have bare skin touching, we should be okay.” Tara explains.

Buffy smirks and wiggles back into Tara, the Wiccan having unbuttoned her shirt. With Buffy having lifted up her shirt, her bare back was pressed delightfully against Tara’s breasts. Smirking as she feels Tara’s nipples hardening against her, Buffy wiggles even more.

“Stop that!” Tara pinches Buffy’s stomach, while taking a long deep breath to try and clear her mind. 

“I don’t mind being Sky clad, I mean if it’ll help…” Buffy tries again, chuckling as Tara growls deeply in her ear, the rumble sending a streak of desire through her body. 

“If you keep distracting me, I won’t be able to see if this will help!” Tara states exasperatedly, having been trying for the last fifteen minutes to calm her center enough to connect with Buffy without actually invading the slayer’s spirit. Hoping the influence of her own body, mind, soul and spirit will help align Buffy’s so it’ll heal fully and properly this time. Not feeling comfortable enough before to touch Buffy more intimately, but after this morning’s happenings and with Buffy’s consent, they’d decided to try it.

Buffy pouts before finally mumbling. “Fine, I’ll behave.” 

“Thank you.” Tara settles her hands back in place, one directly beneath the slayer’s breasts, the palm pressing slightly against the ribs while the other hand is directly below that one, the fingers spread out over Buffy’s lower abdomen and pressing firmly against her. Ignoring the feel of the slayer’s short wiry curls brushing against her pinky, she takes calming deep breaths, her chin resting over Buffy’s shoulder. 

Slowly Buffy relaxes more into Tara, opening herself to the Wiccan without even being aware of it, the two women’s breaths slowly coming into sync with each other, even as their heartbeats become one. Buffy’s hands move to lie overtop of Tara’s larger hands, pressing against them without her even being aware of it. 

Tara slowly allows her spirit to connect with Buffy’s, almost overlaying it to show her what an undamaged spirit is supposed to be like, urging her silently to try and mend herself. Knowing if this doesn’t help, the only other step open to them would be for her to actually come in and try and heal the slayer with her own spirit, using part of it to put the slayer back together again while absorbing the shattered pieces within herself. Knowing that would cause a permanent connection between them of some sort, to what degree Tara doesn’t know without doing it. 

Buffy frowns as she feels what Tara’s trying to tell her what to do. Seeing her damaged spirit and soul Buffy ‘sees’ Tara’s whole spirit and soul shining brightly. Imagining hers looking like Tara’s, Buffy tries to ‘slayer’ it into doing what she wants. Not having any luck, she unconsciously growls until she feels Tara’s calming influence settling her back down again. Realizing Tara’s trying to tell her that she can’t bully it into doing what she wants that she needs to coax it along. 

Tara feels Buffy slowly relaxing and trying to do what she’s urging her to do. Watching some of the smaller sections slowly coming together, Tara smiles internally as she watches Buffy determinedly working on putting her ‘puzzle’ back together again.

Unaware of the time passing the two women work together. The process slow and more draining than either of them realizes as the morning becomes afternoon and afternoon heads towards evening. 

Finally the drain becoming too much, Tara works on slowly pulling her spirit back within her, her consciousness hearing the whimper escape Buffy’s lips as she slowly brings the first session to an end. Feeling drained but happy at the fact that the two of them were able to get Buffy back to where she was before she’d backslid. Groaning as she slowly moves her stiff arms from around Buffy, Tara falls back on the ground her body sore and aching from spending too many hours in one spot without moving.

Buffy, not fairing much better than Tara, slowly moves out from between Tara’s legs to lie beside the Wiccan on the ground, staring up at the sun. “We’ve been out here for over eight hours, haven’t we?”

“Uh, huh.” Tara doesn’t even bother opening her eyes again to look at the sun. The glimpse she’d gotten of it and the location of it in the sky letting her know that it’s probably around five or six o’clock in the evening.

Buffy turns her head, frowning as she sees the tired look on Tara’s face, the Wiccan not even taking the time out to cover herself after the in depth meditation. Shifting, Buffy gently pulls the two sides of the shirt together and buttons it for Tara before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you. That helped a lot.”

Tara slowly drags her eyes open, a small flitter of a smile crossing her lips as she looks at the slayer. “I would like to work on doing it again tomorrow. The only thing is, is if Dawnie comes home, it would probably cause her to freak out if she saw us.”

“She’ll deal. I’ll leave a note for her or something. But we’ll only do it, if you’re up for it.” Buffy gently strokes her thumb under one of Tara’s eyes. Knowing the Wiccan didn’t get much rest the night before, and honestly she didn’t either. “I’ll order a couple pizzas for dinner. Would you like some wings or something to go with them?”

Tara nods her head, past the point of arguing about the pork chops she could fix, not having the energy to do it. “Maybe order a salad also?”

Buffy slowly shifts and stands up, groaning as she stretches her body, trying to get the blood flowing back in it. Offering her hand to Tara, she pulls the woman up so she’s standing in front of her. “Anything you want.” Buffy watches as Tara winces slightly as she puts her weight down on one of her legs. “Fall asleep?”

“Goddess… did it.” Tara groans her hands going down to the deadened leg.

Buffy kneels in front of Tara and slowly works her hands up and down the flesh, enjoying the feel of the silky smooth skin more than she probably should, since she’s trying to help Tara and not get a free feel. Hearing whimpering coming from Tara Buffy looks up stilling her hands.

“Thank you.” Tara winces as the blood starts flowing through her leg, causing the pins and needles sensation.

Realizing what’s happening, Buffy removes her hands and stands, placing her hands on Tara’s waist to help her balance as she keeps from putting weight on the leg. 

Tara places a hand on Buffy’s shoulder as she wavers slightly, waiting for the worst of the tingling sensation to subside before trying her weight on the leg. Sighing in relief as the pain becomes bearable, Tara smiles thankfully at the slayer.

“Come on. Why don’t you go in and relax while I order the food.” Buffy urges Tara towards the house, surprised when Tara doesn’t budge. Looking up into shimmering blue eyes, Buffy frowns at the sight of the tears showing. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how much it will help doing it this way for the worst of the splintered portions, Buffy.” Tara finally admits. It taking longer and been a lot more draining on her than she would have imagined, with trying to walk Buffy through helping herself.

“We can try, if you don’t want to do the more invasive part.” Buffy shakes her head for Tara not to worry about it right now. “Come on, let’s go in. Personally I’m hungry, and I swear I can even hear your stomach grumbling.” Buffy pats Tara gently on the stomach, smiling at the light blush that comes to the Wiccan’s cheeks.

“Maybe a tad.” Tara admits. “I think I’ll run upstairs and take a shower.”

Buffy slowly follows Tara into the house, enjoying the sight of the blonde Wiccan. Having to admit that she never would have believed the absolutely gorgeous body the woman usually hid under her long skirts and loose shirts if she hadn’t seen it for herself. Of course being plastered up against it at night, or as the case may be more often than not, on top of it, she’s learned the feel and muscles the woman has more intimately than she would have believed, without the two of them being lovers. Fighting the groan and burst of desire, Buffy picks up the phone, hitting the speed dial to place the order for pizzas, along with hot wings, salad and some cheesy breadsticks. 

***

“I can go with you on patrol, if you’d like.” Tara offers as Buffy stands in the middle of the living room, obviously debating internally about something.

Buffy’s eyes flicker as she turns to look at Tara. Replaying what the woman had said, Buffy shakes her head. “I honestly don’t think there will be that many demons left. From what I can remember from my anger induced haze I probably wiped out around twenty-five demons give or take last night. I was planning on just hitting the cemeteries looking for newbie’s.” Buffy waves her hand towards the newspaper where the obituaries were that let her know which cemeteries to look in.

“Then it’ll be a relatively quick night. I’ll go with you, if you don’t mind.” Tara offers her eyes serious as she looks at Buffy. Her eyes looking at the reddened area of the jagged cut on Buffy’s face, it was starting about a quarter of an inch from Buffy’s right eye and traveling in a somewhat jagged line down just shy of her chin. Tilting her head slightly, Tara tries to imagine a pale, thin scar in place of the angry red wound. Thinking about it, Tara smiles as she realizes it’ll add a little something to the slayer, making her normally beautiful looks a little more dangerous, and honestly probably even more desirable. 

Buffy quirks her eyebrow up at the sight of Tara smiling, knowing the woman was looking at her wound, but not understanding for the life of her what would make her smile. “You’re going to have to explain that smile.” Buffy comments as she makes her way over to her weapon’s chest. 

Tara blushes as Buffy looks over her shoulder at her. “Do I have to? Or can I plead the fifth?”

“We’re not a court of law here. And yes, you have to.” Buffy becomes even more intrigued at the blush on Tara’s face. 

Tara whimpers and covers her face with her hands, before mumbling against them. “I think the scar will make you even sexier.”

Buffy stares at Tara, the surprise obvious on her face. “You think I’m sexy?” Buffy finally questions softly. Admitting she thought she was decent looking, maybe even cute by some peoples’ standards, but she’d never consider herself sexy, beautiful or gorgeous like she would some people. Looking at Tara and admitting she would definitely consider Tara a very beautiful woman, and sexy in her own right when she relaxes and allows that extremely sexy half grin to cross her face. 

“Goddess, Buffy! What do you think?” Tara answers, pulling her hands down from her face, her eyes wide as she takes in the slayer’s surprised countenance. “You don’t…” Tara shakes her head and moves towards the petite blonde. “You’re one of the most beautiful, sexy women I know, Buffy. And you are extremely sexy.” Tara more breathes the words, than says them as she leans in to caress her lips across Buffy’s.

Buffy steps into Tara’s body dropping the stake in her hand and wrapping her arms around her neck, tugging gently to encourage Tara to deepen the kiss, even as she opens her mouth and flicks her tongue across Tara’s lips. Groaning deeply as Tara’s arms wrap around her waist pulling her tighter against the slightly taller woman, the feel of Tara’s breasts being crushed against hers, making her body tighten with want and desire. Threading her fingers through soft, silky hair, Buffy tilts her head for a tighter fit and growls into Tara’s mouth as the Wiccan takes control of the kiss, plundering her mouth as if she can’t get enough even while her body’s pressing more firmly against her.

Breaking off the kiss for some much needed oxygen, Tara rests her forehead against Buffy’s, panting heavily. “Goddess, Buffy! I was planning on a simple, brief kiss.”

Buffy chuckles as she slowly gets control of her breathing, scraping her nails gently over Tara’s neck, smirking at the low groan she gets in response. “Wanted more.” Buffy admits.

“Obviously.” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer before easing back from her, gently squeezing Buffy’s waist before releasing her completely. “Patrol.” Tara murmurs finally, heading towards the stairs.

Buffy shifts so she can watch Tara hurry up the stairs, a huge grin crossing her face at the little wiggle Tara does while unobtrusively pulling downwards on her pants. “A bit of a problem, huh?” Buffy questions softly, smirking before bending over, groaning herself as her pants press against her aching body. Grabbing the stake, Buffy straightens quickly and does her own wiggle while pulling her jeans down. “Damn.” Buffy growls softly, before finishing grabbing her tools of the trade.


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy smiles softly as she glances over at Tara, the two women doing a semi-quick patrol together. Continuing her thoughts while keeping her senses open to her surrounding, Buffy unconsciously shifts closer to Tara, their arms brushing against each other.

Thinking about how the end of the school year was creeping closer, and the group was slowly shifting and doing different things. Willow and Amy were planning on spending all summer with the Coven outside of LA, Xander and Anya were discussing getting married in Vegas and doing an around the world honeymoon for a month during the summertime. Her father had even been in contact with her and Dawn, asking if Dawn would like to spend part of the summer with him, surprising both of them. And Tara… Buffy turns to glance at Tara, smiling again at the Wiccan. Tara had offered to run the Magic Box for however long Anya needed and was planning on putting in as a substitute teacher at the different schools in Sunnydale before the new school year started. The rest of the time planning on just being with her and helping her try and get everything healed properly.

Tara and Willow have been broken up for almost four months now, and the two women were slowly working on a friendship. Remembering questioning Tara about Willow and Amy, Tara had just chuckled softly and shrugged her shoulders. Finally admitting that she thinks the two women were close, if they hadn’t already started a relationship. Of course her and Tara’s relationship was slowly progressing, though they hadn’t made love yet. There were a few close calls, with Tara usually backing off, stating she wanted to make sure that this is what Buffy really wanted. And no matter how many times and how often she’d tried to explain, Tara was adamant that she wanted to wait until Buffy was healed, and to give the slayer a chance to search her own feelings deeply before they made the final step in their relationship.

When Dawn realized Willow had moved out permanently, she’d questioned Buffy and Tara about Tara’s still sharing her bedroom. That of course snowballed into a deeper discussion of what the effects of being resurrected had been on the slayer, she and Tara both toning it down for the teenager, not giving her the full blow of it, or what could have possibly happened. Of course trying to explain to Dawn that they were sort of a couple had been an alternating nightmare and comedy show. The couple times when everyone had come to the house for ‘family’ dinner, Tara’s way of trying to keep everyone in contact, it had been strange and slightly comical between Dawn and Xander both looking from her and Tara being together to Willow and Amy who were usually relatively close together. 

“Is he making this a habit?” Tara questions curiously, looking a couple blocks ahead of them, the vampire’s bleached blonde hair a dead giveaway. 

Buffy growls softly as she zeroes in on the vampire in the distance, coming out of her remembrances. “Ever since I came back.” Buffy admits. “Though, he doesn’t approach me when you’re with me. He usually only does it when I’m by myself.”

Tara hums softly under her breath, remembering the phone call she had a couple weeks ago from Willow. Surprised when the redhead had told her Spike had looked her up and wanted to ‘let her in on what her ex was doing’. Which had facilitated a discussion with Willow that Tara wasn’t completely comfortable about, but letting the redhead know that she and Buffy were sort of seeing each other right now, albeit taking things slowly. Frowning Tara glances over at Buffy, trying to remember if she’d told the slayer about the fact that Spike was trying to stir up trouble. She had told Buffy about Willow knowing about their burgeoning relationship, but not remembering if she explained exactly how the conversation came about. 

“Shit. Looks like you aren’t even going to be a deterrent anymore.” Buffy grumbles softly, unconsciously stiffening, her hand going to the stake tucked at the small of her back as Spike doesn’t slink off, but actually turns to close the distance between them.

“He better behave himself.” Tara warns softly, her hands sliding into two of her pockets, grabbing a small handful of herbs in one and the bottle of holy water in the other.

Buffy looks questioningly at Tara for a moment, seeing the serious expression on her face before she turns back to Spike. “If you have something important to say, spit it out. If you don’t, leave.” Buffy shifts closer to Tara, as both women pick up their stride, as they work on finishing patrol so they can get back home early for Dawn. 

Spike adjusts his stride to walk beside Buffy. “Oi, now. I’ve been wanting to speak with you.” He looks over at Tara before pulling out a pack of cigarettes, shaking one loose and placing it between his lips as he digs his lighter out of his pocket, lighting it quickly. “Glinda, why don’t you go home and tend the kiddy while me and the slayer have a talk?”

Tara’s eyes narrow as she looks at the vampire. “Buffy and I started patrol together, and we’re finishing it together. Now say what you have to say and disappear.” Tara’s lip curls up in disgust honestly wanting the vampire to disappear for good. 

Buffy chuckles softly at the look of surprise and shock on the vampire’s face knowing Spike was more used to the quiet, meek Tara. Now he’s come face to face with ‘Mama Bear Tara’, the Wiccan having become more and more protective of her as they became closer. Especially as they spent most Saturday’s and Sunday’s working on getting her fractured spirit back to normal, the process a slow and draining one but both women leery for different reasons to try the more in depth meditation and cleansing. 

Buffy frowns as she listens more intently to Spike as he starts to snark hatefully at Tara trying to get her to leave. “Spike, if you don’t shut the hell up, I’ll stake your ass without a second thought. Now say whatever the hell you have to say and leave us the hell alone!” Buffy growls loudly as she steps between Tara and the vampire. Buffy gently presses her back into Tara, feeling the rigidness of the Wiccan’s body. Reaching behind her with her right hand, Buffy gently grasps Tara’s thigh, squeezing it gently, silently urging her to relax. 

Tara reaches down and places her hand over Buffy’s, threading their fingers together to gently squeeze for a moment before releasing Buffy’s hand and putting the slayer’s stake in it just in case. 

“Nice way to treat a bloke that’s been helpin’ out.” Spike drawls, his eyes narrowed not missing the display. Inhaling deeply, he smells the two women, frowning in confusion as their smells are almost literally identical, but he doesn’t smell sex on them. Shaking his head at the oddity of the two women’s scent almost being interchangeable, he growls softly. “I’ve been a good boy and been helpin’ out. I’ve been behavin’ myself and ain’t hurt no one, so cut me some slack, Slayer.”

Buffy’s lip curls up in disgust. “Only because you have that chip in your head, Spike. I’m not stupid. If it wasn’t for that you would have been attacking both of us and trying to drain us.”

“Not completely I wouldn’t. Wouldn’t mind having a childe or two.” Spike smirks, before grunting as he falls back on his ass at the quick strike across his chin. Blinking in surprise at not having seen the blow coming, he raises a hand to his jaw and looks up at the two women looking down at him.

“See! Right there shows you haven’t changed, Spike. You’re still an evil vampire at heart. You’ve just been neutered to where you can’t do much damage.” Buffy snarls at the vampire. “Why do you stick around here, Spike? What’s the draw? You can’t hunt and kill, the other demons and vampires think you’re a laughing stock, a vampire that can’t be a vampire. You sure the hell ain’t sticking around for me, because that is SOOOO not gonna happen. I made one bad judgment call that will never happen again. So tell me, why don’t you move on to greener pastures? Because one day you’re going to piss me off and I’m going to dust your ass.”

Spike snarls as he quickly regains his feet, staring down at the slayer. “What? And you think that little mousey witch there can do it for you? You came back wrong, slayer. You were dead. You belong in the dark not the light. When you get it through your brain that you’re like me, you know where I am.”

Tara snarls as she pulls the holy water out of her pocket, quickly flipping the top off and tossing it on the vampire, ignoring his scream as he jumps back. “She’s not dead, Spike! She’s alive, she can walk in the sunlight, she BELONGS in the light of the day not in the darkness you want to drag her into. She eats, she laughs, she cries, she loves, she’s alive. Something you aren’t and haven’t been for so long you’ve forgotten what it’s like. Give up on dragging her down, Spike. I’ll wipe your ass out myself if I find out you’ve been sniffing around her again. This is your only warning. I don’t give second chances.” 

Spike yanks his shirt from his skin where the holy water had landed and was burning through. Vamp faced he snarls at the witch, growling angrily even as he sees the witch’s eyes swirling with power and anger. Grunting and bending over, grabbing his stomach, his gaze turns to the slayer who’d just hit him.

“Sounds to me like you have a very short, un-dead lifespan ahead of you around here, Spike. I’d suggest you find somewhere else to hang your worthless hide.” Buffy states softly, the anger in her eyes all the more scary for the soft tones. Gently grasping Tara’s hand, Buffy urges her ahead of her to continue on patrol, turning and kicking the vampire hard in the ass, sending him sprawling before she follows after Tara.

“I may not be able to do anything myself, but I can still cause problems of a different nature.” Spike snarls softly as he stands looking in the distance after the two women. Skulking off in the opposite direction, he remembers a certain demon in town that was about ready to give birth. If he could get his hands on those eggs, those baby demons could turn the world into a huge snack. Grinning evilly at the thought, Spike picks up his pace to see if he can find the demon.

***

“Are you okay?” Buffy questions softly, Tara not having spoken since their encounter with Spike almost an hour ago, the two women finally making their way towards home. 

Tara turns her gaze to smile softly at the slayer. “I’m okay, Buffy, just thinking.” Tara admits quietly, turning back to watch where she’s walking. Sighing softly, Tara starts speaking out loud. “You know, he did help out while you were…” Tara stops, hating to think about it, before she finally goes on after Buffy wraps an arm around her waist and hugs her gently. “But most of the time we had to bribe him with blood or money when things were too much for us to handle by ourselves.”

“Typical Spike.” Buffy nods, understandingly. “He’s hardly ever done anything without it benefiting him. He’s always been that way.” Buffy admits softly. “Even when he was here originally, he only teamed up with me because he wanted to get Dru away from Angelus, and the fact he didn’t want the world to end. But I honestly believe the deciding factor was Dru. That and the fact he hated Angelus.” Buffy chuckles at the thought. 

“Remember how he tried to pit everyone against each other when he was first chipped?” Tara frowns at the remembrance. She didn’t really know the group of people well at that time and being in the bathroom with Anya as the rest of the group argued was a memory that was a bit odd. 

“Yeah. He almost succeeded in breaking everyone up.” Buffy admits quietly, remembering how everyone had acted, of course the vampire knew everyone well enough to put their own insecurities to the forefront with a couple well-placed comments. 

“He can’t be trusted.” Tara states simply.

“No, he can’t. I don’t know why I haven’t dusted him yet.” Buffy frowns as they make their way up the sidewalk to their home.

“Because he hasn’t done anything bad enough for you to warrant taking him out.” Tara smiles softly at the slayer. “You’re not like some people, Buffy. With what Willow had said about Kendra, she was a ‘stake ‘em first; ask questions later’ kind of slayer. And unfortunately the world isn’t black and white. There are good demons, just as there are bad humans. Right now with the chip acting as a little zap collar when he does something bad, Spike is in the gray between the two. And you, my lovely slayer, don’t kill indiscriminately normally.”

Buffy nods her head silently in agreement. Knowing the only times she’s literally hunted down demons to stake and kill them was when she went on one her rampages, but knowing that the majority of them were vampires and definitely deserved to be taken out, while the other different demons had attacked her quickly with little provocation. “You’re right. But if he keeps it up, his days are numbered.” Buffy holds the door open, allowing Tara to enter the house before her. Turning and locking the door, Buffy watches as Tara gently shakes Dawn’s shoulder, where the teen had fallen asleep on the couch.

“Huh?” Dawn blinks as she half wakes. 

“We’re home, Dawnie. Why don’t you go ahead and go to bed. You have school tomorrow.” Tara gently brushes the hair from the teen’s face, smiling softly.

“Last week, thank God.” Dawn mumbles as she staggers towards the stairs.

Tara chuckles watching Dawn head up the stairs before following Buffy into the kitchen. “Would you like some cocoa?” Tara quirks her eyebrow at the slayer as her hand reaches for the cabinet.

Buffy shakes her head and settles on a stool at the island within reach of Tara. Grabbing the Wiccan by the waist, she gently pulls her to her, settling Tara comfortably between her legs. Wrapping her arms tightly around her waist, she rests her cheek against Tara’s chest. Smiling as Tara starts to stroke her back with her hands and places a kiss on the top of her head. 

Tara closes her eyes and rests her chin on top of Buffy’s head, continuing to run her hands gently up and down her back. The slayer more often than not seeking her out for the warmth and comfort she offers. One of the reasons Tara’s afraid to consummate their relationship, silently wondering if someone else would do just as well in her place. Though knowing Buffy cares for her, but not entirely sure that the woman is in love with her, or just loves her as a friend. Knowing Buffy is attracted to her, which is a given with how easily the woman’s turned on. Though that too was suspect, as Tara remembers how Buffy was with Riley, the only person she’s seen her with. Knowing the two of them had been very sexually active. 

Mentally shaking her head at her mind’s wonderings, Tara hooks her hands together behind Buffy’s back and presses her lips to the top of her head. “Do you want something else to drink? Or maybe something to snack on?” Tara questions softly.

“Not really.” Buffy brushes her cheek against Tara’s breast before turning her head to place a soft kiss on the cloth covered nipple. Easing her head away, Buffy tilts it up to look into loving blue eyes. “You have finals this week, Tara. We probably should go upstairs so you can be rested.” Buffy smiles softly as she remembers the woman’s studying binges, Tara finally having stated over the weekend that her brain couldn’t handle any more facts, figures or information. That she was done and she’d either do well or not. Knowing how smart the woman is, Buffy doesn’t have a single worry that Tara won’t pass all her finals with flying colors and graduate with top honors. 

Finally urging Tara to step back, Buffy hops off the stool. Threading her fingers through Tara’s, Buffy grabs a bottle of water out of the refrigerator before turning off the lights on their way upstairs to their bedroom. 

Tara follows quietly behind Buffy, allowing the slayer to head into the bathroom while taking the water from her and stepping into their bedroom. Setting the bottle of water down, Tara pulls everything from her pockets placing them in the proper places before stripping and placing her dirty clothes in the hamper. Bending over and pulling out a pair of sleeping shorts along with a tank top, Tara chuckles as a warm hand gently trails down her back to stroke softly over a bare butt cheek. 

“Teasing me, are you?” Buffy lets the words rumble from her chest, her desire burning brightly at the sight of the naked woman. 

“I thought it would take you longer to shower.” Tara admits, straightening with the clothes in her hand turning to tilt her head at the slayer, seeing the desire flaring in Buffy’s eyes, taking in the pale scar that most people don’t even notice along Buffy’s cheek. As she thought, the scar added to the woman’s desirability, though Buffy had worried about it to begin with. After Buffy had realized most people didn’t notice it, she didn’t think about it much anymore. 

Buffy shakes her head and she lets her eyes slowly trail down Tara’s body, nibbling on her bottom lip at the sight of the woman’s full breasts. Her fingers itching to touch, caress, and pinch the flesh. Smiling as the nipples harden perceptibly under her gaze, Buffy shifts her eyes down to the triangle of dark golden curls at Tara’s apex. Buffy remembers having been surprised that Tara was a natural blonde as the woman’s hair had become quite dark at one time before it had started lightening again. Tara explaining that if she wasn’t outside frequently, that her hair did darken, though when she’d first been with Willow, she had colored her hair to an almost white blonde, not liking it she had let it grow out. 

Tara gently taps Buffy on the nose to get the slayer’s attention. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Tara quickly pulls on the shorts and tank top, chuckling quietly at the pouty look that comes over Buffy’s face as she puts her clothes on.

“Don’t like clothes.” Buffy grumbles, pulling off the towel and tossing it in the hamper after Tara leaves the room. Pulling on her own sleeping shorts and top, Buffy folds down the covers on the bed before turning the overhead light off after switching on the lamp. Easing between the covers Buffy laces her fingers together behind her head as she stares up at the ceiling, listening to Tara taking a shower. Understanding to a certain degree why Tara was hesitant in taking the final step to consummating their relationship. But honestly it’s to the point of driving her crazy. Buffy admits to herself that her desire for the woman is at the forefront ninety-five percent of the time. Just thinking about her will more often than not get her aching for the woman’s touch. Sighing quietly, Buffy shifts, the desire already starting to dampen her sleeping shorts. Flipping the covers off, Buffy shifts to let her legs dangle over the side as she finally decides to take matters into her own hands. As Tara finally comes back into the room, brushing her damp hair, Buffy watches her for a moment. 

Buffy stands, grabs Tara and kisses her hungrily on the lips, letting her desire flare to a higher level. Pushing her body firmly against Tara’s, she grasps her butt cheeks while sliding a leg between Tara’s, effectively straddling Tara’s leg. Breaking off the kiss to pant heavily, Buffy presses firmly against Tara before finally questioning the woman. “Any chance we might be taking the final step?” 

Tara whimpers quietly as she feels the heat and dampness coming from Buffy. Her own desire making her ache to the point it’s almost painful. Tilting her head against Buffy’s forehead, Tara digs her fingers gently into Buffy’s waist. “I want to, Buffy.” Tara finally whispers.

“I love you, Tara. More than I can say. I know you’re worried on a deeper level that it’s just because of your help and being there for me. But I know it isn’t. Please? One touch is probably all it would take.” Buffy finally whispers.

Tara hears the pain and desire in Buffy’s voice, along with the almost shyly whispered last sentence. Closing her eyes, Tara thinks long and hard about their relationship. Realizing it didn’t really matter if they consummated it or not, she was already head over heels in love with the slayer, and if Buffy decided she didn’t love her or want to be with her, her world would be torn apart whether they’ve made love or not. Making a decision, Tara presses her lips to the tip of Buffy’s nose. “One touch may be all it will take, but I won’t be able to stop at one touch, or even one taste, Buffy.” 

Buffy’s body jerks at the soft, sexy tone of the woman she loves, even before the words sink into her brain. Eyes opening wide she looks into Tara’s desire-filled eyes. 

“I’ll want more, Buffy. And I can guarantee you, that probably neither one of us will be getting a lot of sleep tonight.” Tara gently urges Buffy towards the bed.

Buffy’s eyes widen even more before a huge grin crosses her face. “Really?” Buffy has to question to make sure, even as the back of her knees hit the bed and Tara gently pushes her down on it. 

“Really.” Tara’s lips curl up into an answering grin as she notices the happiness shining in Buffy’s eyes. “I love you, Buffy.” Tara whispers, kneeling on the bed straddling Buffy as she follows the slayer.

“God, I love you, too.” Buffy answers hoarsely, her eyes shining with love as she looks at the woman that has come to mean the world to her.


	14. Chapter 14

Tara smiles as they shift slightly, Buffy lying in the middle of the bed, her eyes wide like it is Christmas morning and she’s got the biggest pile of gifts to unwrap. Chuckling quietly as she already feels Buffy’s eager fingers tugging on her tank top. Shifting up so she’s kneeling between Buffy’s legs, she allows the slayer to pull the top off, laughing outright as Buffy quickly yanks her own top off, both items flying across the room. “Someone eager?”

“Tara, I love you, but you’ve been driving me to a turned on, extremely horny mess these past few months.” Buffy growls as she tugs on Tara’s shorts. “Either we get these off quick, or I’m ripping them off.” Buffy warns her voice low.

Tara swallows as she sees the truth of the statement in Buffy’s eyes knowing the slayer won’t hesitate to rip the clothes right from her body. Easing off the bed, Tara pushes them down her legs and steps out of them while Buffy yanks her own shorts off. Laughing as Buffy literally leans over, picks her up using just her arms and plops her in the bed beside her, Tara wraps her arms around Buffy’s neck as the slayer starts to eagerly kiss and caress her way down her body.

“You cannot know how I’ve wanted to touch, caress, kiss and taste you.” Buffy mumbles against Tara’s breasts, eagerly devouring the flesh, Tara normally stopped her from going any further or from even enjoying the delightful items for a long period of time in the past. Knowing from what Tara had explained that she’d come close to climaxing multiple times just from her caressing and loving her breasts. 

Tara arches into the slayer’s hungry mouth, surprised and extremely turned on by the woman’s eagerness and words. Buffy usually not this… “Oh, Goddess…” Tara’s train of thought disappears as Buffy bites down firmly on her nipple causing her body to buck as a heavy flood of desire escapes her. Tara knows it won’t take much more to climax. 

Buffy growls loudly at the intoxicating smell of Tara’s arousal, the scent permeating the whole room. Nipping her way across Tara’s chest to her other breast, she nibbles around the rock hard nipple before finally capturing it between her teeth firmly and tugging on it, grunting loudly as Tara’s body bucks and presses hard against her stomach. Hearing the deep, loud moan come from Tara as the woman grinds firmly against her stomach muscles, leaving a trail of wetness in her wake Buffy smirks in realization as Tara shudders beneath her before dropping her lower body back onto the bed. 

“Buffy…” Tara whispers, her voice rough as she looks down at Buffy who’s nipping her way inexorably down her body, jerking as the slayer’s hot tongue dips in her belly button, Tara tugs on her hair.

“Uh, uh. No changing your mind now. I told you I want to taste you. Your smell has been driving me absolutely insane. I want to taste, lick, suckle and devour you.” Buffy growls softly, biting gently on Tara’s lower abdomen, chuckling at the clenching of her lover’s muscles. 

“Goddess, Buffy!” Tara jerks as Buffy’s hands slide down her thighs and under them to slide back up, effectively lifting and opening her as the slayer settles firmly between her legs. Feeling the hot breath of air coming from Buffy’s mouth literally centimeters from her aching body, Tara whimpers. Surprised at how quick and eager Buffy is to do things that had literally taken Willow months to work her way up to, Tara cries out softly as a warm tongue dips between her lips and slowly traverses its way up her center. Burying one hand in Buffy’s hair and the other one digging into the bed, Tara braces her feet on the bed and pushes up as Buffy’s tongue glides over her aching clit, pulling it the rest of the way out of its hiding place.

Growling softly as she comes across Tara’s pulsing clit, Buffy flicks it with her tongue repeatedly before reaching up with one hand after resituating herself slightly, pulling the hood back to look at the flushed muscle. Eyes dark with desire Buffy laps up some of the escaping fluid coming from Tara, loving the earthy, rich musky taste. Hearing Tara’s whimpering becoming louder Buffy grins as she flicks her tongue teasingly over Tara’s clit again, watching as Tara’s body jumps and quivers at the touch. Ignoring her own body’s needs, Buffy swirls her tongue around the muscle, watching and listening to Tara’s movements and whimpers. Slowly dragging the length of her tongue over the swollen muscle, Buffy whimpers herself at the low, long wail that comes from Tara even as the woman’s body quivers and releases another flood of liquid for her to lap up. Hearing Tara trying to say something, Buffy looks up at her flushed lover and the hazy grayish-blue eyes looking back at her.

“In…” Tara whimpers, tugging on Buffy’s hair firmly, needing to feel her lover inside her, her body clenching and aching to feel filled. Seeing Buffy, Tara whispers again not able to say it any louder. “Inside…” 

Buffy frowns slightly trying to understand what Tara’s asking before the light bulb flickers in her brain. Watching her lover intently, she shifts the hand she’d been holding the hood of flesh back with downwards, trailing through the wetness coming from her lover, learning her folds for a few moments before gently circling the tip of her index finger around Tara’s opening. As Tara bucks at the slight pressure and her head tilts back, Buffy slowly eases the finger in, groaning loudly as Tara’s body practically grasps it and drags her all the way in. Panting heavily at the unique feeling of being within her lover, Buffy slowly eases the digit out to slide back in again. The wet heat and the muscles clamping repeatedly around her finger making her own body clench and flood with desire. 

Tara rocks her body, gently urging Buffy to explore, biting her lip as Buffy slips a second finger within her. As her lover gently eases in and out, Tara rotates her hips at the luscious feeling of Buffy’s strong fingers starting to map out her insides, searching within her and learning her body. 

Buffy growls softly, gently nipping on the flesh of Tara’s inner thigh, her eyes unwavering as they watch everything she’s doing. Stroking within Tara, Buffy slowly learns the feel and texture of Tara’s inner body. Sliding the tips of her fingers slowly and intently over Tara’s upper wall, searching for the spot that she had found by accident within herself that night Riley and she had almost killed each other having sex in the haunted house, Buffy bites more firmly on Tara’s leg as the Wiccan jerks and cries out in pleasure as she finds the spot. 

“B-b-buffy…” Tara stutters as the slayer starts to stroke continuously in a small, firm circle within her, keeping up the pressured rub over her g-spot. Trying to warn Buffy about stimulating her this way, but unable to get it out before the climax works through her body, exploding out of her to drench the slayer. As Buffy just grunts loudly, and keeps up her ministrations, Tara’s eyes widen and her body continues to jerk and pulse against her lover. Her voice having shut down on her, Tara digs her short fingernails into Buffy’s scalp as she feels an even more powerful orgasm starting to work its way through her. Silently crying out as she shoves her heels into the bed pushing up with the pleasure going through her along with the gush of liquid, Tara finally collapses back on the bed unconscious from the pleasure.

Buffy licks the fluid from her upper lip that’s making its way down her face as Tara surprises her with the second reward. Not knowing it was possible to have two female ejaculations in a row, knowing from her own personal experience only ejaculating the once and it had taken literally the whole night and most of the morning after multiple orgasms to reach that state to have the one. Eagerly lapping at the sweet fluid coming from Tara, Buffy finally eases her fingers from within her lover as the muscles ease their almost painful clenching. Taking a moment, Buffy looks up to ask Tara about her climaxes when all she sees are the whites of Tara’s eyes. Seeing Tara’s chest rising and lowering quickly, Buffy hurriedly clamors up Tara’s body to look down at the woman. Pressing her fingers to Tara’s neck, Buffy buries her face on the other side as she feels the strong pounding heartbeat. Sighing in relief, Buffy kisses Tara’s neck before easing back to look at the woman again.

“Tara?” Buffy whispers, stroking her fingers gently down her lover’s cheek trying to help her come to. Continuing to stroke her fingers gently over her lover’s cheek and neck, Buffy gently eases her body down against Tara’s, burying her face in the woman’s sweaty neck, waiting patiently for Tara to come back to earth.

***

Tara licks her lips as she slowly gains consciousness. The first thing she’s aware of is fingers trailing softly over her cheek and down her neck before they make their way back up again. Smiling as the second thing she becomes aware of is Buffy’s face buried in the crook of her neck and warm lips pressing softly against her skin. Dragging her arms up to wrap heavily around Buffy’s body, Tara sighs heavily in contentment. The slayer’s hot, wet body feeling right as it lies on top of her.

“You come back to visit with us mere mortals?” Buffy questions softly, smiling as Tara chuckles deeply. 

“You sure you haven’t ever been with a woman before? ‘Cause I have to tell you, if this is your first time, the second may very well kill me.” Tara jokes, hardly recognizing her own rough, scratchy voice.

Buffy laughs quietly, before shifting her body to prop herself up with one hand while reaching for the bottle of water with the other. Slowly easing off Tara to the Wiccan’s grunt of disapproval, Buffy unscrews the top and hands the bottle to Tara. “Drink, love.” Buffy orders watching as Tara shifts up in the bed and tilts the bottle to her lips, taking small sips. Wiggling in against Tara’s body, Buffy rests her head on Tara’s breast while letting her fingers play over Tara’s body. “You surprised me tonight. I’ve only ever had one ejaculation in my whole life. And here you had back to back ones.” Buffy chuckles as Tara whimpers quietly. 

“You didn’t stop.” Tara points out softly, setting the bottle back on the nightstand, saving the other half for later. “I definitely didn’t expect you to find my g-spot so easily then go after it quite that intently, or I would have warned you that whenever it’s stimulated, I always end up gushing.” 

Buffy looks up in surprise her eyes taking in the heavily blushing, but grinning Wiccan. “Always?” Buffy questions hoarsely.

Tara nods her head, chuckling at the surprise on Buffy’s face. “Always. And I have to admit, I’ve never had anyone ever continue after the first to give me a second one.”

“I was pleasantly surprised.” Buffy grins, licking her lips as she settles her head back on Tara’s breast. “Gonna do this more often, see how many in a row you can handle.” Buffy smirks as Tara whimpers. Trailing her fingers over Tara’s lower abdomen, Buffy closes her eyes in contentment. “I love you, Tara. This has been the happiest day of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

Tara feels her heart catch at the slayer’s heartfelt words. Wrapping her arms firmly around Buffy, she hugs her tightly. “Goddess, Buffy. I love you so much. Words are inadequate.” Tara admits. “But I’d love to show you.” 

Buffy groans as her body literally vibrates at the thought. Having ignored her own wants and desires while concentrating on Tara, her body reminds her with a vengeance of what it needs. 

Tara allows a small smile to cross her lips at the loud groan coming from her lover and as Buffy’s body starts to rock against her, the dampness coming from Buffy painting the side of her leg heavily. “Let’s see if I can’t return the favor.” Tara growls as she rolls Buffy over and kisses her hungrily.

Buffy pants heavily, as Tara finally releases her lips and nips her way firmly down her neck stopping to suck on the flesh at her pulse point. “Remember, I’ve only come like that once in my entire life, Tara.” Buffy warns, grunting quietly as Tara shifts and slides one of her thighs firmly between her legs, pressing tightly against her. Buffy presses upwards into the warm flesh, rocking slightly, her body sliding almost effortlessly against Tara’s thigh as it becomes slick with her desire. 

“Gonna work on that.” Tara murmurs before nibbling firmly on the flesh she’d been suckling on. Shifting her body to support on her hands, Tara presses harder into Buffy’s apex, rocking gradually faster and harder as she watches Buffy flush darker as she creeps closer to release. Feeling the slayer’s fingers digging into her waist, Tara presses slightly harder, rocking faster at the slayer’s urging, chuckling lowly as Buffy’s legs wrap around her leg and the slayer rubs hard and fast, a flood of fluid coming from her as she climaxes.

Buffy whimpers quietly as she explodes, the release helping but the desire still running rampant through her body. Groaning deeply as Tara gently urges her legs to unwrap. Dragging her eyes open, she looks into the smiling face of her lover. 

“You need and want more.” Tara whispers seeing the flame burning just as brightly in Buffy’s eyes, the desire obviously at an all-time high within the slayer. 

“Much more.” Buffy admits, panting heavily as she watches Tara intently. Seeing the almost wicked grin cross Tara’s mouth, Buffy whimpers. 

“You’ll have much more.” Tara promises leaning down to invade Buffy’s mouth hungrily, urging the slayer into a heated battle of wills as their tongues duel and hands grip and stroke. Growling into her lover’s mouth, Tara digs her short nails firmly into Buffy’s hips. Working her way quickly down Buffy’s body, she places two quick nips on each rock hard nipple before letting her teeth scrape inexorably down the slayer’s body until she’s at the strip of dark curls. 

Buffy whimpers as Tara nips gently at her mound even as her fingers playfully tug on the short curls. Burying her hands in Tara’s hair, Buffy tugs gently. “Don’t tease.” Buffy growls as she tilts her head to look at the dark blonde hair spread out over her body, her heart missing a beat at the look of unadulterated love and desire looking back at her.

“No teasing.” Tara shakes her head, her hands stroking down Buffy’s thighs as she shifts to become comfortable, planning on spending a while enjoying her lover and hopefully bringing her much deserved pleasure.

“Oh, Goddddd…” Buffy moans, arching into Tara’s warm mouth as true to her word she doesn’t tease. Feeling the strong tongue dragging repeatedly over her distended clit, Buffy whimpers as lips surround her and a strong sucking motion commences even as Tara’s tongue starts to flick repeatedly over the tip of the sensitive muscle bringing her quickly to another, stronger climax. 

Tara hums appreciatively while continuing to suckle at the slayer, alternating to stroke the length of her tongue from the bottom of the slayer’s slit, dipping playfully within her lover before continuing up and over the swollen, begging muscle and stopping to suckle for a few moments before doing it all over again, chuckling as Buffy hooks a leg around her back, pulling her in even tighter to her body. As Buffy shakes and another flood of liquid escapes her, heralding another climax, Tara allows her hands to come into play. Dragging her fingernails tenderly over the slayer’s butt cheeks from where she’d been holding the woman, Tara slides both thumbs teasing down her lover’s crack, smirking as Buffy whimpers and jerks as they trail over her rosebud. Deciding to come back to that at a later date and after a few questions, Tara slides the thumbs up the short distance to press tenderly into her lover’s opening, the slickness of Buffy’s arousal letting her slide in easily. Swirling her tongue around her lover’s throbbing clit, Tara shifts, easing her thumbs out.

Buffy grunts loudly, her body shifting to try and keep the woman inside her, eyes opening to stare down her body at Tara as her lover looks up with smiling eyes. 

“Easy, love. I’m just resituating slightly.” Tara smiles at the disgruntled look on Buffy’s face. Pressing her lips once more firmly to Buffy’s clit, Tara shifts so she’s straddling one of Buffy’s thighs, the fingers of her right hand stroking through her lover’s desire as she leans down to kiss Buffy softly, not knowing if her lover would like to kiss after what she’d been doing, pleasantly surprised when Buffy tugs her more firmly against her and deepens the kiss immediately, her tongue searching out her mouth while groaning in obvious appreciation. 

Buffy sucks eagerly on Tara’s tongue after enjoying the taste of herself on and in the Wiccan’s mouth. Releasing it to moan loudly as Tara finally slides two fingers deep within her, stroking firmly in and out.

Tara pants softly as she opens her eyes to look into Buffy’s passion-filled gaze. “Goddess, you’re beautiful.” Tara whispers, curling her fingers to stroke firmly over Buffy’s pleasure spot, using her thigh to give her thrusts more power as she strokes in and out, letting her fingertips press over the muscle, building her lover’s desire.

“Ohhhhh…” Buffy whimpers, bracing her feet to meet each of Tara’s thrusts, feeling the building tension in her body at Tara’s continued stroking. 

“Relax and let yourself feel the pleasure, don’t fight it.” Tara whispers softly, watching Buffy’s face contort with pleasure, the tightening making the scar stand out more prominently as Buffy’s face flushes with the desire coursing through her. Tilting her head down the short distance, Tara eagerly kisses and licks the scar, feeling her lover’s muscles starting to clench repeatedly around her fingers. 

Buffy jerks and presses her body up harder and faster, grunting as Tara’s fingers seem to press upwards even more firmly against her g-spot. Feeling the flow as the climax starts to work its way through her, Buffy cries out Tara’s name as the Wiccan presses her thumb firmly against her clit at the same time her fingers bury themselves within her to press upwards continuously against the bundle of nerves inside her, tipping her over the edge.

Tara shifts to bury her face in Buffy’s sweaty neck as her lover finally floods her hand in climax. Keeping her fingers firmly against the spot, Tara whimpers at the strongly clenching muscles even as she latches onto the slayer’s pulse point, unconsciously biting directly over Angel’s bite scar.

“Oh, my God!!” Buffy jerks upwards at the feel of Tara’s blunt teeth sinking into her neck as another even more powerful orgasm rips through her, soaking them both. 

Tara pants heavily as she releases Buffy’s neck, lapping at the wound, not really aware of what she’d done, not even noticing the metallic tang of the slayer’s blood.

Buffy holds onto Tara tightly, wrapping her legs firmly around her leg, effectively capturing Tara’s hand against her, burying her fingers deep inside her as she feels a connection unlike anything she’s felt before opening to her. Not understanding that Angel’s unclaimed bite, from where he’d taken her blood to heal roughly three years ago was effectively and permanently just claimed by Tara. Something that should never have been able to happen between two humans, but because of their continued working together to heal her, it had opened them to each other in a way indiscernible before now to either woman.

Tara growls softly at the possessiveness of her lover holding her to her, enjoying the feel of the strong arms, and the hot sweaty body pressed against her, unaware that her body was just as sweaty. Feeling the possessiveness and happiness coming from Buffy, it takes Tara a moment to realize she shouldn’t be ‘feeling’ these things. Blinking her eyes open, she tilts her head to look at Buffy’s grinning countenance as she slowly works over what had just happened. Looking down at Buffy’s neck, she sees a perfect impression of her teeth at Buffy’s pulse point. Swallowing hard as she tries to make sense of what’s happening, Tara cautiously reaches out to Buffy emotionally. 

“What’s wrong?” Buffy raspily questions, feeling the worry coming from Tara. Turning her head, she presses a soft kiss to her lips, slowly opening her eyes to look into extremely worried blue eyes. 

“Do you feel it?” Tara questions hoarsely, searching Buffy’s hazel eyes as they become unfocused, feeling the slayer searching within herself and eventually coming across the connection within them. Seeing the hazel eyes focus back in to look questioningly at her, Tara shakes her head. “I don’t know. I…” Tara looks down at the bite on Buffy’s neck, frowning heavily as she sifts through information of vampires claiming their childe, if they so choose. “Angel never did anything more than drink your blood to heal himself, did he?”

Buffy blinks in confusion at her lover’s question before shaking her head. “No. Why are you…?”

Tara presses her forehead against Buffy’s temple. “A vampire that has fed off a human, usually either plans on killing them for food, turning them to become a vampire, or …” Tara trails off, taking a deep breath not knowing if Buffy knows about this part.

“Or basically making them an indentured servant for however long they choose until they dissolve the link, turn them or kill them.” Buffy finishes, having read it and questioned Angel about it one time, the vampire admitting he never tried to keep a human, not wanting the hassle and problems that could arise from it while being Angelus. 

“His mark has been unclaimed, and I think in a weird sort of way I unintentionally just claimed it. But in a different kind of way.” Tara admits hesitantly, afraid of what this might mean, never having read of anything like this happening before in all the time she’d done research and honestly not knowing how Buffy would take it.

Buffy frowns in confusion, slowly relaxing her body to release the tight grip she has on Tara, but keeping her arms around her lover. Groaning quietly as she feels Tara finally shift and ease her hand out from inside her and between their two bodies, Buffy blushes slightly at the feel of the wet sheets, thankful she has the protective plastic cover over the mattress. 

Tara chuckles at Buffy’s wonderings, before pressing her lips firmly against her temple. “You didn’t pass out, though.” Tara murmurs as she brings up her own second climax and consequential passing out. 

Buffy grunts and grins slightly. “What does this all mean, Tara?”

“I haven’t a clue.” Tara admits, slowly shifting to lie beside Buffy, instead of on her lover. Keeping one leg tossed proprietarily over the slayer, Tara props her upper body up with her arm and rests her head in the palm of her hand as she looks down at her confused looking lover. Stroking her fingers lovingly up and over Buffy’s body, Tara sighs quietly. “Okay, let’s try this. Sing the theme song from the Brady Bunch.” Tara orders.

Buffy crinkles her forehead and stares up at her lover. “I don’t think so. Didn’t care for the repeats I saw when I was a kid and I’ll be damned if I’m going to sing the song.” Buffy grumps, shaking her head at her lover.

Tara laughs uncontrollably at the look of disgust on Buffy’s face. “Well, you’re not under my thrall to do whatever I tell you to do.” Tara comments between laughter.

Buffy grunts and gently smacks Tara’s leg before placing her hand on the thigh, stroking her fingers over the warm flesh. “Maybe the transfer isn’t complete… shouldn’t I have some of your blood?” Buffy finally questions, her eyes gleaming as she snaps her teeth playfully at Tara.

Tara chuckles and shakes her head. “Hell if I know.” Unconsciously running her fingers up to the bite, Tara frowns. “I didn’t mean to do it, I just did.” Tara admits sadly. “It was like I had no control and it just happened.”

“Shhh.” Buffy reaches up to hold Tara’s hand, pulling it down to her chest, squeezing it gently. Turning to gaze into sad, teary blue eyes, Buffy leans in to kiss Tara lovingly. “Whatever it is, it’s done. One thing you’ve taught me over the months is that you can’t undo the past. You can just work on making things better in the here and now. We’ll take this too, in stride.” Buffy offers, chuckling at the surprise in Tara’s eyes. “Didn’t think I was paying attention, did you?”

Tara shrugs, blushing lightly. “I know you pay attention. It’s just how much attention you’re paying…” 

Buffy growls playfully and rolls over on top of her lover, kissing her hard on the lips. “Be careful or I’ll be marking you and see what happens.”

“It would only be fair.” Tara admits, Buffy having released her hand. Running both hands gently through Buffy’s hair, she presses her lips firmly against Buffy’s. Opening her senses to see the slayer’s aura, she jerks back in surprise to look into Buffy’s questioning hazel eyes.

“What now?” Buffy questions curiously, the shock in Tara’s eyes obvious while the emotions coming from the Wiccan were confusing her.

“Your… your spirit… Your soul is healed.” Tara blinks in shock, stroking her thumbs over Buffy’s cheeks as she continues to stare at the slayer. “Can you tell the difference?”

Buffy actually pays attention to the way she feels, slowly nodding her head in answer to Tara as she doesn’t feel the anger flowing just under the surface that she had been feeling. As a matter of fact, she feels pretty calm and relaxed. “Sure it isn’t just because I had the best sex of my life? I mean, wasn’t there a song called Sexual Healing or something?” Buffy questions fighting the smile wanting to cross her face.

Tara growls and smacks Buffy firmly on the ass after a second. “Marvin Gaye. And yes, it was called Sexual Healing. But I somehow doubt that is what healed you.”

“Hmmm. I’ll argue that point.” Buffy smirks at Tara before leaning down to nibble firmly on her full bottom lip. “Why the hell did you put me off for so long? We could’ve been making out like bunnies the past couple months.” Buffy points out wiggling her body enticingly against Tara, chuckling as Tara whimpers.

“You know why.” Tara finally grasps Buffy’s hips as the slayer wiggles her way firmly between her legs and was starting to rock back and forth slightly. “Buffy…” Tara warns softly.

Buffy growls at the note in Tara’s voice, though her eyes do shift to the clock, realizing it’s almost four in the morning. Whimpering and dropping her head to lay beside Tara’s, Buffy whispers into Tara’s ear. “You need a little sleep for whatever tests you have tomorrow.” Buffy makes it a statement, not a question.

“Yes, I do.” Tara admits, turning her head slightly to press a kiss against Buffy’s ear. “We do have some serious discussions ahead of us, though. We need to find out what, if anything, this means.”

“Okay.” Buffy sighs heavily, before reaching out with her arm, feeling around to turn the lamp off, smiling as Tara hugs her tightly. “Covers.” Buffy mumbles, wiggling her legs around to try and find them with her feet. 

“Think they’re off the end of the bed.” Tara offers quietly, knowing they’d probably kicked them completely off with their exertions.

Buffy grumbles quietly as she slowly shifts and rolls out of the bed. “Don’t want to have to do this a lot. We’ll have to get strings or something attached to the little bastards and hook ‘em to the bedposts.” Buffy pulls the sheet and comforter up the bed before climbing in to lay half on Tara. “I love you.” 

Tara has to chuckle at Buffy’s comments, before kissing Buffy lovingly at her declaration. “I love you, too.” 

“Better.” Buffy mumbles against Tara’s neck as she slowly starts to drift off to sleep. “Planning on keeping you forever.”

Tara stills at the slayer’s words, it finally hitting home how much the slayer does love her, and not just for what she’d done to help her, but just because. Not able to argue with the feelings coming to her from the woman even in her sleep. “Goddess, I’m sorry for doubting you.” Tara whispers, pressing a soft kiss to Buffy’s forehead, before relaxing to allow her body to give in and follow her lover into the land of dreams.


	15. Chapter 15

Tara finishes the last question on her final, flipping it to the beginning to start double-checking her answers when she gets this barely there feeling of unease and confusion coming from Buffy. Frowning heavily, Tara looks up at the clock. Forgoing double-checking her answers, she clicks her pen, grabs her purse and trots down the steps hurriedly ignoring the looks she receives from her classmates. Smiling at the Professor as she places her test paper on the desk, she hurries out of the room and down the hall towards the exit and the parking lot.

***

Buffy finishes washing the dishes from breakfast, smiling at the fact today was Friday, and Tara was finishing her last final and would officially be done with school, short of graduation in two weeks.

Whistling happily, Buffy strides through the house looking to see if anything needs to be cleaned or washed before trotting up the stairs to grab the hampers to start working on laundry as she thinks about the past five days and the fact she and Tara had impossibly become even closer. The feeling of rightness of being with the woman unbelievable, even as her own anger and pain from coming back was gone. Though there were still twinges of sadness and longing for the happiness she had felt while being in heaven, but Tara’s loving her was more than recompense for the loss of those feelings. Tilting her head, Buffy silently wonders if there is lovemaking in heaven, blushing lightly at the thought. “Hope so. Also hope that they’ll let me and Tara hook-up, up above. Damn woman means the world to me.” Buffy murmurs as she carries the dirty clothes down the stairs. “Before my heaven was just having peace, which is what I had. Now I want something a heck of a lot better.” 

***

The morning gone, and the afternoon starting, having just finished the laundry, Buffy steps outside with a glass of lemonade. Settling on the porch swing, she looks out at the afternoon sky. Deciding to wait for Tara to come home, knowing her lover said it would probably be somewhere between one and two, knowing she’ll have at least an hour to wait, Buffy sips on her lemonade and rocks back and forth.

Tucking her leg under her, Buffy sets the empty glass on the small table to the side of the swing. Frowning as she hears a high-powered engine coming down the street, she turns her gaze on the large black SUV making its way down Revello Drive. Surprised as it slows down and pulls into her driveway, Buffy stiffens and her eyes narrow feeling a sense of unease working through her. Untucking her leg, she slowly stands and stares in stunned shock as Riley Finn steps out of the vehicle on the driver’s side, talking to someone still in the darkened vehicle before turning to stride towards her. 

Buffy unconsciously crosses her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture as she looks at the man she had at one time considered spending her life with. Surprised and shocked as he comes to stand in front of her a small smile on his boyishly good-looking face, Buffy’s confused as she feels the ache of what might have been working through her. Shaking her head at the thought she quirks her eyebrow to stare at Riley. “I would ask what you’re doing here, but considering the get-up, I would assume it isn’t good.”

Riley’s smile slowly falls from his face and he shakes his head. “No, but I thought we might be able to talk while I’m here.” Riley offers, looking over his ex-girlfriend, taking in the changes of the past year, frowning slightly as he sees the light scar trailing down her face wondering what might have caused it. 

Buffy shifts slightly as Riley looks over her. “What’s the sitch?”

Riley runs a hand through his hair and looks back at the SUV with the other four commandos in it. “We’re hunting a Suvolte Demon that’s somewhere here on the Hellmouth. I thought it would be best to talk with you and let you know what was going on, plus to see if you would want to be in on the hunt. She’s about ready to lay her eggs, if she hasn’t already.”

“Suvolte Demon?” Buffy questions curiously, frowning as she doesn’t remember that particular demon, though with all the different demons she’s fought over the years, and her lack of caring what they were she could have killed fifty of them and still not known their name.

“They’re literally eating machines when they hatch. They’ll take over Sunnydale in a day and before a month is out, the whole United States would probably be nothing but empty buildings and countryside.” Riley explains quickly, looking over Buffy having to admit she looks damn good, even with the scar. “You’re still beautiful.” He murmurs, his eyes widening at his admittance.

Buffy frowns and shifts uncomfortably at his words, not knowing what to say. Admitting she still feels an undeniable attraction to the young man, after all he is definitely good looking, but smiling blue eyes and a crooked, sexy grin sets her pulse racing and her heart thundering in her chest. “Who’s in the SUV?”

“The rest of my group.” Riley mutters, frowning at her lack of comment to his admittance. “Look. My reasons for coming here were two-fold, Buffy. They’ll be okay out in the vehicle. They know I want to speak with you alone. Can we maybe continue this inside?” Riley tilts his head towards the door, silently pleading with Buffy to hear him out.

Buffy stares at Riley for a minute, before finally nodding her head and leading the way into the house, silently wondering what’s going on.

***

Tara pulls up in front of the house, parking on the street as she looks at the large black Hummer. Worried, she hurries out of the vehicle and up to the house, striding through she looks into the living room before turning towards the kitchen, staring in stunned silence at Riley Finn sitting at the island in the kitchen.

“Tara, we have company.” Buffy murmurs, hearing her lover come to a stop in the dining room and feeling the major sense of unease and worry coming from her. Turning her gaze back on Riley, she continues to think about what he just said, already knowing the answer to his question but trying to figure out why he’s just now coming to ask her. “It took you a year to come and ask me this?”

Riley swallows hard and looks down at the counter, slowly nodding his head. “The more time I spent away from you the more I realized how much I loved you. I know you won’t leave the Hellmouth, but my rotation in the Forces is up in six months if I don’t re-up. I wanted to know if you’ll marry me.”

Tara feels her heart stop in her chest as she hears the heartfelt words coming from the young man, her eyes jerking over to Buffy, just feeling a sense of calmness coming from her lover, she doesn’t know what to do or say. Her heart pounding in her chest as she silently wonders if this is it. If Buffy might decide to marry the young soldier, even with knowing how much she loves her. 

Buffy feels the worry and fear coming from Tara. Turning to look at her lover, she sighs quietly, realizing that Tara doesn’t know what her answer is, and obviously is extremely worried about the outcome of the young man’s words. “Tara…” Buffy whispers, holding her hand out. Seeing the confusion in blue eyes and feeling the indecision as to whether to come to her or run the other way, Buffy shakes her head. “Please.” Buffy wiggles her fingers.

Tara swallows hard and slowly finishes entering the kitchen, not daring to look at Riley as she slides her hand into Buffy’s, surprised when Buffy shifts in the seat and lifts her to settle on her lap, wrapping her arms tightly around her. 

“Riley, at one time I wanted that more than anything. But times have changed, and so have I. I’ve died in the time you’ve been gone, only to be resurrected four months later. I do care for you, and probably always will. But I don’t think… No, I know you probably won’t understand. I’ve fallen in love with Tara. She makes me happier than I have ever dreamed possible. Hell, even when we argue and fight a part of me revels in the love I feel coming from her when it’s happening. Because she does love me. Me and my faults. She also understands what it is for me to be the slayer. And how I can’t just work nine to five and put my stake down to have a normal life afterwards.” Buffy explains quietly, her eyes on the shocked man’s face as his eyes flicker between her and Tara, smiling as she feels Tara relax to the point of practically melting into her body. Pressing a kiss on Tara’s cheek as she turns slightly towards her, Buffy chuckles. “How could you ever be worried?”

“I didn’t feel anything but calmness from you after your original worry, unease and confusion.” Tara admits, shifting to sit sideways and bury her face in Buffy’s neck as her lover strokes softly over her back. 

“Sorry.” Buffy whispers pressing her lips to Tara’s forehead. “Riley, I’m sorry but my answer is obviously no. But if you want mine and Tara’s help in hunting out the demon, we will definitely help you.” Buffy offers quietly.

Riley’s mouth opens and shuts as he looks from Tara to Buffy and back again. Feeling a sense of frustration and anger shoot through him, he questions roughly. “When the hell did this happen and what about Willow?”

Buffy growls softly at Riley even as Tara answers him.

“Willow and I broke up over four months ago. Buffy and I have been working on a relationship for the last…” Tara looks questioningly at Buffy. “Three months?” At her lover’s agreeing nod, she grins crookedly at her. “Three months ago. It’s been a slow, but very intense process, and I love her completely.” Tara warns softly, her eyes darkening in warning as she stares at Riley. “If you say or do anything to hurt her either physically or emotionally, I will have your ass.”

Buffy smirks and buries her face against Tara’s shoulder as she tries to quell the laughter coming up. The woman’s possessiveness and caring for her only becoming worse the last few days after the whole mark thing. Having to admit in a way she feels extremely happy and pleased with it, and silently admitting to herself that she’s becoming more possessive of the Wiccan as time progresses, even more so than she had been. 

Riley leans back away from Tara, surprised at the forcefulness of the blonde, totally different from the shy, quiet woman he remembered. Turning his gaze on Buffy, he watches as she grins even as quiet laughter bubbles from her lips.

“Don’t piss her off, Riley. Even the demons have learned that they will have an even shorter lifespan if they piss her off than they do with me. And her way of taking them out is usually a lot more painful than mine.” Buffy warns seriously, though her eyes twinkle merrily. “Can you do a tracking spell on a particular demon?” Buffy questions curiously.

Tara nods her head as she looks at her lover. “If I have something personal from it, I can. If not, I can just do a generic tracer that will show us where the majority of the demons are throughout Sunnydale that don’t have a magical blocker.” 

Riley sighs heavily before putting thoughts of him and Buffy being together out of his mind to sort through later. The soldier in him insists on taking care of the threat first and personal business later now that there was obviously no chance for them. “We were hoping Willow might be able to do a spell, and I remembered that she needed something of the demons. So I have part of a tooth out in the SUV.”

“Willow isn’t doing any magic.” Buffy answers softly, at his curious and surprised look, Buffy shrugs. “She was out of control. Or maybe I should say the magic was in control and not her. She did some things that came back to bite her in the ass.” Buffy hugs Tara tightly at feeling the quick streak of pain coming from her. “Sorry, love.” 

“Not your fault.” Tara whispers, slowly relaxing again. “She’s heading to a Coven to try and get control of the magic, or at least learn to drain the magic from her body as needed.”

Riley nods slightly, though not really understanding. “We’ve heard from our contacts in town that someone calling himself “The Doctor” is dealing with the demon. I’m afraid it might have already laid the eggs, so the sooner we get started…” Riley stands looking at the two women. 

“I have what we need to do the spell.” Tara answers the unasked question in Buffy’s eyes. 

“Good, I’ll go change. Are you going to come with, or…” Buffy lets Tara slide from her lap before standing and looking at her lover. Seeing the knowing crooked grin on Tara’s face, an answering grin crosses hers. “Stupid question, huh?”

“Slayer moment.” Tara chuckles at the scowl she gets in response to her answer. 

“You’ll pay for that later.” Buffy grumbles before looking at Riley. “Go get the piece. The rest of the group is welcome to come in if you want. Game plan making time and all that.” Buffy waves her hand watching her ex-lover nod his head sharply and head out of the kitchen. Sighing as she feels arms wrap around her waist. 

Tara hooks her chin over Buffy’s shoulder and presses a kiss to her cheek. “I’m sorry, honey. Insecurity and jealousies rearing their ugly heads.” 

“I say we have some things to work through still. But we will, and we’ll be all the stronger for it, right?” Buffy smiles as Tara nods and nips gently at her ear. “I do love you, Tara. I’ve fallen in love with you and I wouldn’t trade being with you for anything in the world.”

“Goddess, I am so in love with you.” Tara answers as Buffy turns in her arms and kisses her lovingly.

Buffy eases back after a few moments, hearing Riley and some other people coming back into the house. “Good thing, don’t wanna see what an angry unloved slayer is like. Not a pretty sight!” 

Tara chuckles as Buffy heads out of the room. “So not gonna happen.” Tara smiles as she hears the quiet laughter come from her lover. Shaking her head at the realization that she needs to get her supplies, she trots up the stairs after the slayer, ignoring the testosterone moving around in the living room.

“Yo, Riley. Who was that hottie?” Jason questions Riley, his eyes following Tara up the stairs.

“Don’t even.” Riley growls roughly shaking his head at the young demon fighter. Fighting the anger and pain he’s feeling at being turned down for the woman. Not understanding what Buffy sees in the blonde, but knowing that there’s nothing he can do about it.

***

“Want to get in a quickie?” Buffy teases as Tara shuts the door behind her as she slowly strips her clothes off and wiggles her eyebrows at her lover.

“When have we ever had a ‘quickie’?” Tara smirks at her lover’s teasing. Heading over to the closet, Tara pulls down one of her pairs of cargo pants. Tossing them onto the bed, she heads to the dresser, chuckling as Buffy smacks her gently on the ass. 

“Don’t think you know the meaning of a quickie.” Buffy chuckles as she grabs clothes out of the closet, smirking at the red leather pants and the black t-shirt she pulled out, hearing the groan coming from her lover, knowing from past comments that Tara really, really likes her in the pants. 

“Haven’t heard you complain, yet.” Tara strangles out, knowing she’s going to make Buffy pay for wearing those pants, now that they were lovers. Then she groans as she realizes they’re going to have company out on the search mission tonight. 

Buffy smirks at the feelings she’s getting from Tara, along with the disgust and irritation as it occurs to her that they weren’t going to be alone. 

“Want me to call Xander or Willow to see if they would mind either staying with Dawnie tonight, or having her come and stay with them?” Tara questions as she starts to think about the teen while she changes quickly and grabs the ingredients she’ll need for the spell.

“See if Xander would mind coming by and getting her. I think Willow and Amy were planning on heading out after her finals.” Buffy offers softly, pulling the leather pants up and tucking the shirt in.

Tara nods, glancing over at Buffy, grinning at the sight of the tight red leather pants. “Turning me on, and teasing the natives… lethal combination.” Tara comments curling her lip up in a half smile.

Buffy groans as Tara grins that sexy half-grin that never fails to turn her on. “Make sure you get weapons, just in case.” Buffy warns even as she grabs a bag down, quickly tossing in stakes, a short sword, a couple knives, her crossbow along with extra bolts and a few other odds and ends.

Tara watches as Buffy tosses items into the bag. “I think you have us both covered, but I’ll take one of the knives and a couple stakes, just in case.” Tara accepts the items from Buffy, tucking them away in her pockets before quickly hurrying out of the room to take care of calling Xander.

***

“Thanks, Xan.” Buffy smiles at her best friend as he grabs Dawn’s bag. 

“No prob. Come on, Dawnmeister. We have the Movie Depot and the Pizza place to hit.” Xander winks at the teenager.

Dawn grins at Xander. “Only if I get to pick the movies.” Dawn smirks as Xander groans and rolls his eyes, but nods his head. Turning to look at Buffy and Tara she stares worriedly at them before her eyes glance over to the huddling commandos. “You two better be careful. Dad is planning on picking me up next week, and I’d like to spend some time with you guys before then. With both of you all together, not in pieces.” Dawn warns, staring a little harder at her sister, as she was still upset about finding out what had happened when she’d freaked, the two women not being able to hide the slayer’s wounds.

Buffy narrows her gaze on the quietly chuckling Wiccan before turning and nodding at her sister. “We’ll be on our best behavior.” Buffy leans in conspiratorially towards her sister. “We have all the big, strong men to take care of us puny little girls.” 

Tara snorts back a laugh as Dawn groans and rolls her eyes. “We’ll be careful, Dawnie. I promise we won’t do anything purposefully dangerous.” Tara narrows her gaze on Buffy this time, the warning silent but serious.

“Love you.” Buffy smiles hopefully at her lover.

“I love you, too but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be extra careful.” Tara growls, before hugging Dawn tightly and watching the teen hug her sister, smiling at the unreserved hug, happy to see how much the two Summers’ were getting along lately. 

“If you need me…” Xander starts and looks at the two women and then the men, shaking his head. “Never mind. Just call if you need us, or if anything happens.”

“Thanks, Xander.” Tara smiles softly at the young man, having to admit he’d come around relatively quickly to her and Buffy being a couple, though he had received a couple growls from Buffy at some of the more ‘risqué’ comments that he’d made. 

“Anytime.” Xander winks at the two women before striding out of the house, followed closely by Dawn already rambling on about what movies she wants to rent, making Xander groan loudly.

“He’s really a sweet guy.” Tara comments, tilting her head at the thought. “I’m kind of surprised you or Willow never actually ended up with him.”

Buffy grunts softly, before frowning as she wonders if Tara knows about the ‘fluke’. “Did you hear about the little dress-fluke in high school?”

Tara chuckles and looks at Buffy, nodding her head. “Though I think Willow downplayed it a bit, not wanting to make me jealous.”

“We’ll discuss that later.” Buffy smirks and wiggles her eyebrows. “Have all kinds of dirt on Xander, if you haven’t already heard about the majority of it.”

“Probably haven’t. Usually Willow didn’t talk about your guys’ high school exploits unless something came up to trigger a ramble fest.” Tara sighs quietly as she glances down at the map and the tooth. “Let me do the spell so we can get started.”

Buffy gently squeezes Tara’s waist and softly kisses her cheek. “Thank you for your help.”

“I’ll always help you, no matter what. That’s a promise.” Tara brushes her thumb gently over Buffy’s cheek, lovingly tracing her scar before shaking her head. “Spell.”

Buffy chuckles and watches as Tara prepares for the spell before looking over at the commandos, rolling her eyes at the differing degrees of lust and disgust showing, Riley’s clenched jaw a dead giveaway to his anger. “Children.” Buffy mumbles loud enough for the men to hear before heading into the kitchen to get something to drink, deciding to ignore the guys for the time being.


	16. Chapter 16

“Spread out.” Riley points to his right and left as they start to hunt the outskirts of Sunnydale, the map showing this as the last place the demon had been. “Keep your eyes open and contact us as soon as you have any confirmation that the demon was or still is here.” Riley growls softly.

Buffy looks at Tara and tilts her head for her lover to stay with her, not trusting her life to the idiots with them. “Stay close.” She whispers, the two women being as quiet as possible.

“Planned on it.” Tara follows close behind Buffy as they start to search the area, speaking even softer than her lover, knowing Buffy can hear a pin drop. “How sure are they that it’s already laid the eggs?”

“About ninety-nine percent.” Buffy admits, frowning heavily. “And if it’s laid the eggs, the gestation period is only a little over a week, so…”

“It’s possible they’re getting ready to hatch.” Tara finishes softly, frowning at the thought. 

“Yep.” Buffy stills as she hears a low rumble, her senses going on alert while the other commandos spread out across roughly fifty yards of forest to either side of them, they’re hard to see, but with her slayer-sight, still easily identifiable. Finally locating the noise, she knows it’s not any of the other commandos. “We have something ahead and to the right of us.” Buffy warns Tara, nodding to the radio in her lover’s hand.

Tara nods and quickly clicks the radio on to let them know Buffy hears and senses something. Watching silently as the men close in. “No killing it, we need to find the babies.” Tara reminds her lover.

Buffy grins wickedly. “No fun.” She smirks before heading towards the sound in the bushes slightly to the right and about fifteen yards ahead of them, disappearing to yell out a few minutes later as she comes flying out of the bush. “Bitch is strong.” Buffy growls, not having expected it for some reason before jumping back in after the demon as the commandos work their way more hurriedly towards her. 

Tara shifts worriedly as she feels Riley and another commando stop beside her as the demon finally comes flying from where it and her lover had been fighting to land about five yards in front of them with Buffy following hurriedly as the Suvolte Demon tries to gain its feet. Breathing out a sigh of relief as Buffy manhandles the demon and looks towards Riley.

“Never asked, do they understand or speak English?” Buffy questions curiously, struggling to contain the strong, ugly demon on the ground.

“No. They are very low-level demons. Pretty much all they know is killing and feeding.” Riley admits, shooting a tracking device into the demon’s thigh before nodding his head towards Buffy. Looking at the monitoring device he makes sure it works before moving backwards. “You can release it. We can monitor it from now on and hopefully follow it to its nest.”

Buffy looks down at the demon as it tries to shake her loose, it finally gaining purchase and pushing itself to a standing position with her hanging onto it’s back. “Watch out, I’m going to let it go.” Buffy waits until the perfect moment and lets go as she flies off the back of the demon to land and roll on the ground, watching intently as it takes off running.

Buffy growls and pops up, hesitating to look at Tara.

“Go. Make sure it doesn’t harm anyone.” Tara orders softly, knowing her lover is worried about leaving her with the commandos. “I’ll be fine.”

“Love you.” Buffy whispers before taking off at a quick run after the demon, ignoring the couple commandos keeping pace beside her.

Riley looks at the other soldiers before looking down at Tara. “We’ll follow behind once we get back to the vehicle. We should be able to catch up to them relatively quickly.” 

Tara nods and jogs hurriedly behind them, realizing she really needs to exercise more. The walking and patrolling keep her in decent shape, but running or jogging for long periods of time are really not high on her priority list. 

***

Buffy glances over her shoulder at the commandos that are slowly losing ground, smirking and shaking her head, she looks back at the demon she’s keeping track of. As they head back into Sunnydale, Buffy frowns as she lets it get a little further ahead of her, watching as it heads towards Restfield Cemetery.

Coming out of the woods a few blocks down from the cemetery, Buffy glances to the SUV heading down the road towards them, sighing quietly in relief as she sees Tara’s arm wave towards her from the open window. As it slows down beside her, Buffy jumps on the running board and holds onto the mirror as the other two commandos climb in. “You okay?” Buffy questions softly, not having felt any feelings other than worry coming from Tara, knowing that the woman was worried about her. 

“I’m fine.” Tara gently strokes her fingertips down Buffy’s cheek smiling at her lover as they make their way towards the cemetery. “You know where it’s heading, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Restfield from the looks of it.” Buffy growls softly as something else plays around in her mind about who the “Doctor” might be.

“Do you think…?” Tara trails off as Buffy slowly nods her head, her eyes narrowing in contemplation.

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Buffy admits her eyes serious as she considers what to do. “If it is, he’s gone too far. If he’s doing this…”

“I know, love. I know.” Tara grasps Buffy shoulder and squeezes gently as they pull up outside the cemetery gates. Watching as her lover hops down and opens the door for her. 

“Grab your gear, she’s stopped moving.” Riley orders, hitting the button to open the back as the men gather the gear. Looking over at Buffy and Tara as the two women talk softly, he shakes his head. Grabbing a chest belt with grenades and smoke bombs on it, he straps it on before grabbing one of the flamethrowers as Jason grabs the other one. “Be prepared for anything. Flames and explosions are the main things that’ll kill them quick. Let’s go.” 

“I’m going in first.” Buffy warns softly, her eyes flashing as Riley starts to argue, the look obvious on his face. “Don’t even. This is my town, my decision. You guys will be packing up and heading out again after this is over with. We have to live here, and I am in charge.” Buffy growls deeply. Turning to Tara she starts to open her mouth and is stopped by a firm finger pressing against her lips.

“I go where you go.” Tara shakes her head to Buffy’s obvious look. 

Sighing heavily, Buffy slowly nods her head, knowing she won’t be able to talk the stubborn woman into staying back out of harm's way. “Be prepared, and please be careful.” Buffy warns, kissing her lover hard and quick before turning to jog towards Spike’s crypt.

“Always.” Tara murmurs, hurrying after her lover as the commandos follow them in a spread out semi-circle, Riley almost even with Buffy. Shaking her head, she moves quicker so she comes even on the other side as they make it to Spike’s crypt.

“He already knows we’re here, stay back.” Buffy growls, knowing the vampire had heard them, and could probably smell them by now. Shifting back, Buffy kicks the door in, smirking at the angry grunt she receives from inside. “Honey, I’m home!” 

Tara groans softly as she slips into the crypt behind Buffy and shifts to the corner, pulling out her preferred weapons of choice as she watches Buffy stalk up to the blonde vampire. 

“Oi, decided you wanted a bit o’ me, did ya’?” Spike smirks at the slayer, before his eyes land on Tara. “I’m up for taking you both on, I am.”

“Sorry, we’re not interested, Spike.” Tara murmurs, shaking her head. “I already have what I want.”

Buffy smirks as Spike’s eyes jerk back to her and the vampire inhales deeply even as he takes a step closer to her, his eyes widening in shock and surprise. “I bet you wish you were half as good as she is.” Buffy smirks even bigger as she tilts her head hearing a noise that she can’t place. Frowning slightly, she searches the crypt but doesn’t see anything… Realizing the sounds are coming from down below, Buffy growls softly and shoves past the vampire, slamming her fist hard against his head as he grabs her by the arm yanking her around.

“Bloody hell!” Spike groans, spinning around into the side of the crypt from her hit. Reaching up to his aching jaw, he stares at the slayer, the shock still obvious on his face. “You’ve bloody well been claimed. Who’s the bloke that took over Poofter’s mark? He’ll be rightly pissed when he finds out, he will.” Spike smirks at the thought, before frowning. “Who the hell would you have let claim it? Only vampire you’ve been with is me Grandsire.”

“Wasn’t a vampire, Spike.” Tara smirks, the pleasure of what she’s going to tell the vampire flooding her. 

Spike flares his nose and opens his vampire senses, before vamping out at the impossibility of what he’s sensing. “Not fuckin’ possible!” He snarls angrily, it being an affront to his vampiric nature that a human has taken over a claiming mark of a vampire, and one of his line at that. Snarling angrily, he lunges for the slayer, slamming into her, and flying over the sarcophagus beside Tara, ignoring the flare of pain from his chip. 

“SEPARATE!” Tara cries out loudly after a second of watching the vampire slam into her lover, the shock taking a moment to wear off before she acts. Seeing Riley and a couple of the other commandos raising their guns, she snarls at them. “HE’S MINE!” 

Buffy, stunned, shakes her head to get her senses back in order even as she watches her lover advance on Spike. Feeling the pure, unadulterated rage coming from Tara, she stares at the witch in shock. She never would have believed Tara capable of that particular emotion to that degree. Starting to say something to her lover, she hears some cracking and chittering sounds coming from below them. “Riley! Down below! They’re hatching!”

Riley jerks his head from watching Tara advance on the vampire, surprised at the livid anger on her face to Buffy pointing to a hole in the floor. Pulling two concussion grenades, he yanks the tabs and tosses them into the hole. Backing away from the opening, he turns his back until they go off. “Now!” He growls as he climbs down the hole, preparing the flamethrower with Jason following him.

“I warned you, Spike.” Tara explains softly, her eyes cold as she stares at the vampire. 

Spike snarls at the witch before his eyes come into contact with the glacier white eyes staring back at him. Feeling his demon retreat within him at the power coming from the witch, he whimpers. 

Buffy stares in disbelief as she watches her normally calm, caring and sweet lover literally tear the vampire to pieces with a simple wave of her hand. The hair on the back of her neck literally standing up from the power flowing from her lover, Buffy watches as Tara shakes her head slightly as the vampire dust slowly settles in the crypt. Cautiously stepping up behind her, Buffy places her hand on her lower back, sighing in relief as she feels Tara pulling the power back into herself. Never knowing that Tara was capable of doing what she just did, she stares at her as she slowly turns and collapses against her. Wrapping her arms around the shuddering woman, she presses her lips to her temple. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay.” Buffy murmurs softly, holding Tara up as the woman’s knees seem to give out and she leans heavily into her.

Tara starts to shake uncontrollably, not liking herself very much at this point as the reality of what she’d just done settles inside her. The uncontrollable urge to protect Buffy and take out the threat to her lover was all she could think about when Spike had gone after her slayer. Burying her face in Buffy’s neck, she whimpers quietly as the tears start to fall.

Buffy groans at the confused, swirling feelings coming from Tara. Hearing Riley telling the commandos that they got all the Suvolte baby demons and the mother, Buffy quickly picks Tara up and carries her out of the crypt. Settling on top of a large tombstone, she hugs the woman to her body tightly. “You were just protecting me, Tara.” Buffy whispers softly. “I would have done the same thing, except used my hands to do it.” Buffy admits quietly, not knowing if it’ll help Tara or not, but if it’d been Tara that Spike went after, she would have probably done worse to the vampire. Tara’s ripping him apart had only lasted seconds, whereas she would have probably taken hours on the vampire and taken him out piece by piece, slowly. 

Tara curls up into a tighter ball, grasping the slayer’s t-shirt tightly in her hands. “Is it really going to b-be okay?” Tara questions hoarsely, keeping her face against Buffy’s neck.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Tara. Think about what he was about to unleash on Sunnydale, and in turn, the world. He was evil and as soon as he would have figured out a way around his chip, he would have gone on a killing spree. You know that as well as I do and I can guarantee you eventually he would have figured it out.”

Tara nods slowly, understanding her lover’s words, but the guilt not so easily dismissed. Feeling Buffy stiffen slightly, Tara shifts her face to look at Riley as the other commandos head back towards the vehicle. 

“The Suvolte Demon, along with all the hatchlings is taken care of.” Riley explains, looking at the two women. “We can give you a lift home, if you would like.” Riley offers softly, finally noticing how upset Tara is. 

“Do you want a lift home?” Buffy questions Tara softly, brushing her lips over her cheek as all she gets is a little shrug from the Wiccan. Looking back up at Riley, Buffy sighs quietly. “Please?”

Riley just nods and tilts his head towards the vehicle before striding away.

Buffy eases off the tombstone and slowly makes her way to the vehicle.

“I can walk.” Tara murmurs quietly.

“Shhh. Let me, Tara. You’ve taken care of me, let me return the favor.” Buffy whispers before pressing her lips to her forehead. “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, or to feel guilty about, love. He was a demon, and evil. Even with the chip in his head he went after me. He could have possibly gone after you, or an innocent. How would that make you feel, if you had a chance to take him out and he hurt someone?” 

Tara groans and re-tucks her face against Buffy’s strong neck. “I know what you’re trying to do.” Tara mumbles, slowly relaxing.

“You’re smart, of course you know.” Buffy smiles as she hears the quiet chuckle come from Tara and feels the slowly calming feelings of her lover. “You going to be okay?”

“Yes, how can I not be? You’re taking care of me.” Tara murmurs, grinning against Buffy’s neck as Buffy snorts. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Buffy hugs Tara more firmly against her before carefully climbing into the front seat, still holding Tara. Slayer coordination definitely needed for the maneuver before she shifts slightly so she can shut the door. 

Tara relaxes even more as Riley drives back to the house, the feel of Buffy holding her firmly while stroking her fingers gently over her side and back making her settle quicker. As Riley pulls into the drive, putting the vehicle in park without getting out, she glances up at the soldier. Seeing the pain, but also the acceptance in his eyes, she smiles softly at him. “Thank you, Riley.”

“No, thank you.” Riley smiles back at the understanding in her eyes along with the silent acknowledgement. “We need to get back and make our report.” He pulls a card out of one of his pockets, handing it to Tara. “If you should ever need help, just call that number and leave a message. We’ll be sure to get you whatever help you need.” 

Buffy looks at Riley for a few minutes, studying him before nodding at the sincerity in his eyes. “Thanks, Riley. Have a safe trip back.” Buffy opens the door and steps down, continuing to hold Tara to her firmly, allowing Tara to shut the door as they watch Riley wave before putting the vehicle in reverse and backing out of the drive to head back down Revello Drive and out of sight. 

“He screwed up in the past, but he’s a good guy.” Tara admits softly.

“Yeah, he is. I hope he finds someone, he deserves to have happiness in his life, too.” Buffy hugs Tara and smiles down at her lover. 

“Are you happy?” Tara whispers, searching Buffy’s eyes, the question actually a lot more in depth than the simple words portray.

“Happier than I ever thought I could, or would be.” Buffy brushes her cheek against Tara’s. “Good thing it took me a while to realize that I like to play for the home team.” 

Tara quirks her eyebrow at the mischief filling hazel eyes as Buffy continues carrying her up to the house. “Do I have to ask?” Tara questions curiously.

Buffy gently sets Tara down on her feet before digging her keys out and unlocking the door, allowing Tara to go in front of her as she follows her in and locks the door behind them. Dropping the keys on the table she turns and wraps her arms around Tara’s waist, pulling her tightly into her body. Placing her lips against Tara’s ear, Buffy whispers with total conviction. “I would have fought Willow tooth and nail for you. And she wouldn’t have had a chance.” Buffy nibbles lightly on Tara’s earlobe, smirking as Tara moans softly. “Wanna know why she wouldn’t have had a chance?”

“Why?” Tara questions breathily, tilting her head to give Buffy freer access to her neck as the slayer works her way down her neck.

“Sexy Superhero here. By your own lips.” Buffy chuckles as Tara snorts back a laugh, smiling as she feels Tara release the last bit of guilt and unease she’d been feeling. 

“With puny muscles.” Tara jokes, squeezing the slayer’s arm, the strength the slayer has definitely not obvious to the casual eye, but the feel of steel-like strength under her fingertips very, very obvious.

“I’s gots muscles… Just don’ts looks likes its.” Buffy pouts adorably up at her lover before grabbing Tara into her arms and taking the stairs three at a time, heading for their bedroom. “Show you what I can do with my muscles.”

Tara laughs delightedly at her playful lover, seeing a side of the slayer that most people didn’t get to see. “Goddess, I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Buffy returns the smile coming from Tara as she gently kicks the door shut behind them, planning on making tonight a very memorable night. Wanting to be playful and not too serious so Tara doesn’t think about what happened earlier.

“I need to shower first, love.” Tara murmurs seeing the playful glint in her lover’s eyes, wondering what Buffy’s up to.

“Do you have anything against sharing?” Buffy questions curiously, the thought of Tara all wet and soapy making her pulse pound fast and hard.

“I guess not.” Tara shakes her head, grinning crookedly at Buffy. “I’ve never shared before, but I don’t mind trying new things.”

“Good.” Buffy growls, before spinning around and heading back to the door, chuckling as Tara reaches down to open it for her. “I foresee slippery fun in our near future.”

Tara chuckles softly, having to admit she’s really enjoying this side of the normally serious slayer.


	17. Chapter 17

“Like that?” Buffy nips gently on Tara’s shoulder as she works her hands firmly over Tara’s breasts, the body wash soapy and slippery. Grinning at the low groan she receives in response as Tara leans back into her, one hand on the shower wall the other gripping tightly to her waist. Buffy knows she’s going to have bruises for an hour or so when Tara releases her grip, though not caring as it doesn’t really hurt. “Your skin is so soft.” Buffy whispers squeezing Tara’s nipples gently before flicking her thumb nails over the sensitive, hardened flesh, chuckling as Tara jerks and growls softly.

“Buffy.” Tara grips the slayer’s waist even more firmly, digging her nails into the flesh.

“You mentioned something a little while ago about not minding trying new things. Anything you haven’t ever tried that you wouldn’t mind trying?” Buffy questions curiously. 

Tara tilts her head back, so it’s resting on Buffy’s shoulder, closing her eyes as Buffy’s strong, small hands work small circles over her body. “Honey, I’ll try anything and everything you want to try. But one day, night, however long it might take, I’d like to start at your gorgeous little toes and work my way up your body kissing, licking and nibbling until there isn’t a single centimeter of you untouched by my lips and tongue.”

Buffy whimpers, pressing her body firmly into Tara’s, spreading her legs slightly as she presses her mound against Tara’s ass cheek. 

Tara smirks as she feels Buffy rubbing against her, the heat coming from the slayer almost unbelievable. “If we don’t hurry up with this shower, the desire is going to be dampened quickly.” Tara warns releasing the hold she has on Buffy’s waist as her desire tones down a bit, now that the slayer isn’t teasing her unmercifully. 

“Spoilsport.” Buffy grumbles, nipping Tara’s shoulder again, really enjoying leaving little red marks on the pale white skin. “If you ever decide to get another tattoo, I’d like to go with. Maybe we can get matching ones.” Buffy presses her lips to the small tattoo, while letting her soapy hands dip playfully between Tara’s legs under the guise of cleaning the woman, chuckling as Tara groans and presses one hand against the back wall while putting the other hand back on the other wall and spreading her legs. 

Dropping her chin to her chest, Tara closes her eyes as Buffy’s fingers slide on either side of her swollen clit and squeeze gently. Groaning deeply as Buffy lets her hand trail further so her palm is pressing firmly against her clit while two of her fingers dip playfully inside of her. 

Buffy shifts back a step, the shower water hitting her more fully on the back as she slides her other hand down between their bodies to teasingly run up and down between Tara’s butt cheeks, chuckling wickedly as Tara whimpers loudly and presses back against her. “We’re going to get one of the on-demand water heaters so we don’t have to worry about running out of hot water.” Buffy grumbles, really enjoying the feel and sight of Tara naked, wet and slippery. “Rinse the conditioner out of your hair, love, while I finish doing a quick wipe down of your body.”

“Tease.” Tara grumbles as Buffy’s hands leave her to slide down her legs while the slayer steps back, tugging gently to urge her into the shower stream.

“No, I’m not teasing. This is foreplay.” Buffy smirks at the loud growl she gets in response, knowing by the way Tara was knotted up that she was close to climaxing and would have probably only needed a couple good strokes over her clit to tip her over the edge. Surprised at how quickly she’s learned the different signs coming from Tara’s body, but knowing that she hasn’t learned them all and they will definitely have a lot of fun and enjoyment in the future learning more about each other, both physically and intellectually. 

“Good thing I’m usually easy going.” Tara grumbles sarcastically, the water running down her body, washing the soap from her as she rinses her hair before crying out softly, burying one hand in Buffy’s hair and one against the wall as Buffy shifts around her quickly on her knees, burying her face in her apex and licking strongly over her clit. “Goddess, Buffy!” Tara cries out, her hips bucking against the slayer as she brings her quickly to climax.

Buffy moans into her lover’s body, loving the taste of the Wiccan as she laps softly, gathering what liquid she can coming from her lover. Panting quietly, Buffy slowly stands, licking her lips as she stares into hooded blue eyes. “Better?”

Tara half chuckles, half moans as she tugs gently on the hair in her hand. “Can I just say that you have definitely taken to being with me, a woman, like a…” Tara reaches back and turns off the water as it starts to become cooler. Grinning crookedly, she smirks at her lover. “Like a duck to water.”

“And this duck is definitely in the mood to go swimming.” Buffy wiggles her eyebrows and lets her fingers play gently over Tara’s body, her fingers teasingly dipping just barely inside Tara.

“Oh, shit.” Tara murmurs, both hands switching to Buffy’s shoulders, holding on tightly. “Plan on causing a flood?” Tara closes her eyes and swallows hard as Buffy’s fingers slide gently within her and curl to teasingly brushing over the sensitive spot, barely caressing before slowly easing back out. 

“Multiples. Going to have a flash flood warning needed for the bedroom.” Buffy helps Tara out of the tub, chuckling at the low, long whimper coming from her. Handing her a towel, Buffy hurriedly dries her own body before grabbing a new towel to rub over her head. 

Tara chuckles as Buffy dries her body in record time. “Are you in a rush?”

“Yep. Got a sexy, lovely woman standing naked in front of me, like I’ll ever head in the other direction when this option’s available.” Buffy growls playfully, snapping her towel at Tara before tossing it in the hamper.

“Watch that!” Tara shifts as the towel smacks her on the butt. 

“I did.” Buffy smirks as she brushes her hair, yelping when a hand smacks her firmly on the ass. “HEY!”

“Teach you.” Tara chuckles at the look she gets from Buffy.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Buffy rubs her butt. “That actually stung.” 

“Good. You might think twice before you do that again.” Tara chuckles wickedly as she tosses her towel in the hamper, grabbing the brush out of Buffy’s hands to brush her hair quickly. 

“Or I might do it more often.” Buffy murmurs, brushing her teeth, grinning around the toothbrush at the narrowed gaze she gets from Tara. 

Tara finally just shakes her head at Buffy as she sets the hairbrush down, waiting for Buffy to finish brushing her teeth, so she can brush hers. “Do you mind going downstairs and maybe picking up a few bottles of water for us?”

Buffy wipes her mouth as she puts her toothbrush up. “Anything else you want, love?”

“Just you, naked in the bed…” Tara grins crookedly at Buffy as the slayer growls playfully at her. Groaning as Buffy swoops in and kisses her thoroughly before laughingly breaking off the kiss and heading out of the bathroom. Licking her lips, Tara murmurs softly. “Minty.” Laughing, she works on finishing her nightly ablutions. 

***

Buffy practically jumps down the stairs and hurries into the kitchen, grabbing all the cold bottles of water out of the refrigerator before jogging back up the stairs, chuckling softly as she sets the bottles on the nightstand. Flipping the covers down the bed, Buffy listens as Tara hums softly, smiling at the sound that is becoming more and more commonplace. Knowing the Wiccan isn’t even aware she’s doing it, but in the past week, whenever she’s felt extreme happiness coming from Tara, the humming usually follows. 

Settling her body in the middle of the bed, Buffy eases onto her side to face the doorway as she hears Tara leave the bathroom and step towards the bedroom. 

Tara exhales softly at the sight of Buffy lying in bed naked, the subtle play of muscles under the slayer’s skin teasing her daring her to touch, kiss and nibble. Taking in the sight of her lover’s body, makes her body heat up even more, even as her heart lightens and fills with love. “You’re a Goddess.” Tara murmurs softly, pulling off the towel she has wrapped around her body and tosses it into the hamper, slowly closing the distance between her and her lover.

“I think you have that mixed up.” Buffy’s eyes take in the sight of her lover. The full, firm breasts, slowly hardening as she gazes at them, loving the sight, Buffy smiles softly. Letting her eyes trail over the fuller figure of her lover her fingers twitch as they want to feel the soft, warm skin under them. “You are the Goddess. I’m just a little ol’ slayer. Come here.” Buffy orders softly, holding her hand out to Tara. 

Tara quickly finishes closing the distance and lies on the bed, facing her lover. “So, what does the slayer have in store for me?” Tara questions, her eyes twinkling merrily at the mischief filling the slayer’s eyes.

“Hmm. Pleasure.” Buffy starts slowly stroking a finger down Tara’s neck to circle one of Tara’s nipples, watching intently at the sight of it becoming small and extremely hard. Trailing her fingers further down, she wiggles them down the Wiccan’s sensitive ribs until Tara laughs and squirms. “Laughter. Fun and more pleasure.” Buffy shifts her body slightly closer to Tara’s, leaving just a couple inches of space between them. 

“In that order?” Tara questions curiously, moaning softly as strong fingers caress over her butt cheek and down her thigh to her knee before slowly trailing back up, effectively lifting her leg so a strong thigh can slide between her legs, effectively propping her open to the slayer’s touch. 

“That’s possible.” Slowly leaning in, Buffy kisses Tara softly before nipping playfully on her bottom lip. “Do you like being playful, Tara? We haven’t had much of a chance to talk about this side of our relationship. And most often than not, we’ve been relatively serious when we’ve been together. Of course, we haven’t had that much of a chance to learn each other in the past week as much as I would like.” Buffy admits, trailing her fingers teasingly around the triangle of blonde curls. Plucking gently at the curls Buffy chuckles as Tara giggles. 

“That tickles.” Tara wiggles as Buffy’s fingers go from plucking playfully to swirling her fingers lightly in the curls making the skin tingle. “We have our whole lives to learn what we like, Buffy. You don’t have to know everything immediately.” 

“Wanna know.” Buffy grumbles, giggling as Tara’s fingers wiggle with just enough pressure along her ribs to make her laugh. Burrowing her face in Tara’s neck, Buffy nips firmly along the flesh under her lips, groaning deeply as Tara stretches her neck out to give her free rein. Sucking strongly on her pulse point for a few minutes, Buffy releases the flesh to lean back and look into passion filled blue eyes. “Doing that is like giving up your control, yourself, Tara. It’s a sign of submission to vampires, animals and almost everyone.”

“I know.” Tara murmurs softly, her eyes searching dark eyes, the hazel more brown at this moment. “You would never take advantage of me, Buffy. Even if you have control of me, you would never allow yourself to do anything that would ultimately be bad or possibly hurt me. Anyway, you already own me heart, body and soul, whether you realize it or not.”

Buffy licks her lips unconsciously, the truth of the Wiccan’s words settling inside her. “The connection goes both ways. I can feel your love, your worry, your anger, and your caring. Is that what it’s like for you with everyone else?” 

“Different. The connection between us is always there now. I’ve tried putting my block up just to see if it would block your feelings out. I can block other people’s feelings out, except if they’re really, really strong, then they come through but not real bad. Plus, I usually have to be in the same room as them to feel their feelings.” Tara admits quietly, slowly shaking her head. “They’re there, no matter what. Have you tried to block me out?”

Buffy slowly shakes her head. “No. I like having your feelings flowing through to me. Knowing that you love me just by feeling it…” Buffy sighs quietly, tilting her head forward against Tara’s forehead. “I’ve never been that sure of anything, Tara. Except maybe knowing that I’m meant to die young with being the slayer.”

“Shhh.” Tara murmurs, silently wondering how they’d gone from being ready to have a playful night of making love to becoming so serious. “You’ve been through that twice. There won’t be a third time until we’re both old and gray. We will have many, many years together.”

“That sounds like a promise. I’m holding you to it.” Buffy whispers softly, kissing Tara tenderly. “Can we put off playful for another time? It doesn’t seem right now.”

“Of course. I love you, Buffy, whether you’re being serious, playful or somewhere in between.” Tara runs her fingers gently through the slayer’s hair, playing with the ends. 

“I want to be tender, gentle and loving.” Buffy brushes her lips repeatedly over Tara’s without deepening the kiss. “And I want to make love to you.”

“I want to make love to you, also.” Tara admits softly, trailing her fingers down Buffy’s cheek. 

Buffy closes her eyes as Tara’s fingers follow the line of the scar. When she feels the fingers replaced with warm lips, Buffy moans softly. The Wiccan had kept the wound clean and made sure to put the ointment on it as it was healing. Knowing it probably would have been a lot worse, if not for her tender ministrations. As it is, it’s a pale scar and with a thin layer of foundation could be completely hidden. Though she didn’t bother covering it that often, as Tara seemed almost obsessed with it and definitely found it sexy. Stroking her fingers softly over Tara’s waist, not even being aware of moving them, Buffy shifts her head slightly to capture Tara’s lips with hers.

Moaning deeply into the slayer’s as she slowly searches out her mouth, Tara joins in the kiss, battling gently against Buffy’s tongue. Threading her hand through Buffy’s hair, Tara holds her tightly to her as she shifts her body closer to Buffy until their breasts press against each other.

Buffy growls softly at the feel of her breasts pressing up against Tara’s fuller breasts, loving the feel of the hard nipples with the surrounding softness pressed against hers. Grasping Tara’s thigh, she pulls it up over her legs. 

Tara breaks the kiss, panting heavily before crying out softly as Buffy’s fingers slide through the wetness escaping her body to brush softly over her aching clit. 

Buffy pants heavily, tilting her head until she’s resting it against Tara’s forehead, her eyes closed as she enjoys the warmth and wetness of her lover. Flicking the tip of her index finger over the swollen muscle, Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face at the whimper coming from her lover. Feeling her own body jerk slightly, pounding almost in tandem with her lover’s heartbeat. Feeling the pounding throb of the blood flowing to Tara’s clit, Buffy’s eyebrows twitch in consideration. “Can I try something?” Buffy finally questions, her voice low and rough.

Tara nods her head, even as her body rocks gently against Buffy’s tender ministrations. Grunting quietly as Buffy’s fingers disappear from her, Tara follows Buffy’s urgings and shifts to her back, looking up at her lover hovering above her. As Buffy settles carefully between her legs and she feels the slayer’s hand working its way between their bodies, Tara frowns in confusion. 

“I want to see…” Buffy whispers, pressing a soft kiss against Tara’s lips as she gently spreads Tara’s lips with her fingers and carefully pulls the hood of flesh back away from the swollen muscle, maneuvering gently until she spreads herself open to match Tara’s body and closes the distance between them.

Tara moans deeply as Buffy settles her lower body firmly against her. Realizing what her lover is doing, she carefully wraps her legs around Buffy, pulling her more firmly against her, rocking gently, the unique feeling of their wet, swollen clitorises rubbing against each other simply breathtaking.

“Ohhhh. Yesss…” Buffy whispers, closing her eyes as she shifts her upper body up with both hands on either side of her lover’s shoulders, their breasts barely brushing against each other as she pushes her lower body more firmly into Tara’s. Immersing herself in the throbbing of her center sliding and rubbing effortlessly against Tara’s, Buffy groans deeply as Tara shifts her hips, pressing more firmly against her.

“Harder, honey…” Tara whimpers the throbbing almost painful as her body looks for release. 

Buffy drops her head so she can nibble on Tara’s shoulder while she rocks more firmly against her. Rolling her hips around, Buffy growls softly at the low whimper of intense desire coming from Tara. Pressing harder into her, Buffy rubs firmly against Tara, hearing the hitching of the Wiccan’s breath as she draws closer to release. Feeling her own desire growing, the pounding almost unbearable Buffy pants heavily, crying out softly as she feels Tara’s teeth nipping firmly on her mark. 

“I…” Tara pants fighting the urge to bite down firmly on Buffy’s neck again. 

Buffy nips roughly at the crook of Tara’s shoulder and neck, hearing the groan of approval coming from her lover even as they rock harder and faster against each other. The two women’s bodies covered in a thick layer of perspiration at this point. “Go ahead…” Buffy growls roughly, pressing her flesh towards Tara’s mouth even as she sinks her own teeth into the flesh that had been teasing her.

Tara finally gives into the urge, claiming Buffy again at the same moment Buffy’s teeth settle into her, both women grunting loudly in pleasure as they climax immediately, their juices mingling even as they claim each other, completing the circle. Strengthening the joining already started when they had worked together to heal the slayer, allowing Tara to take over Angel’s mark and now intermingling their spirits fully. Both women equal partners in their relationship, each stronger than they were before in their own areas of knowledge and expertise now that they are a couple. 

Buffy pants heavily as she laps firmly at barely broken skin, feeling Tara doing the same as they continue to gently rock against each other, their body’s slick with moisture so they literally slide effortlessly. 

Tara slides one leg up and down Buffy’s while letting her hands trail down to cup the slayer’s muscular butt cheeks, kneading the flesh firmly as they slow the motions of their bodies while lips and tongues kiss and lick along salty flesh. 

“I love you.” Buffy whispers, feeling a calmness and serenity she’s never felt before. Knowing instinctively that this is part of what Tara knows and has attained with her own learning’s and meditations. 

“Goddess, I love you, too.” Tara murmurs, burying her face in Buffy’s neck, releasing the flesh she was grasping to wrap her arms around Buffy, hugging her lover tightly. 

“This feeling… Do you think this is what it would have been like if you’d actually tried to heal my spirit?” Buffy questions curiously, shifting slightly so she can look easier at her lover, sliding to where half her body is still comfortably on her. Trailing her fingers lovingly over the damp flesh, she stares into loving blue eyes. 

“I think so.” Tara smiles and tucks blonde hair behind Buffy’s ear. “I think we need another shower.”

Buffy chuckles and nips gently on Tara’s arm, before brushing her cheek over it, closing her eyes as Tara’s fingers gently scratch her scalp. Settling herself more firmly against Tara, she smiles as the Wiccan wraps her arms around her, hugging her tightly. “I would be happy to spend the rest of my life just like this.”

Tara presses a kiss to the top of Buffy’s head. “I’m right there with you. I’m putting in my order now with the Goddess.”

Buffy snorts softly, running her hand up Tara’s side to cup the breast she isn’t lying on, squeezing gently. Sighing quietly, she feels the tiredness coming from her lover, knowing the Wiccan had expended more energy than she normally does. Shifting her foot, Buffy finds the covers and works to pull them up within her grasp. Settling them gently over her, Buffy presses a soft kiss to Tara’s lips. “Playful and flood time in the very near future.”

“Hopefully multiple times in the future.” Tara jokes softly, laughing at the eye roll she receives from her lover. “Give me another kiss, Slayer.” Tara orders softly.

“Hmm. An order I feel compelled to fill, maybe it does work.” Buffy jokes before shifting and kissing Tara tenderly for a few moments before easing away to place one more soft kiss on Tara’s swollen lips.

“Night, love. Another apocalypse avoided.” Tara murmurs softly. “Of course, the soldier boys got to do the work this time.”

“About time they did something.” Buffy mumbles, settling more firmly against Tara. “Think they still owe me for that Adam shit.”

Tara chuckles softly at the note of disgruntlement in Buffy’s tones. “Sleep, love. It is summertime and school’s finished. Playtime for us.”

“I like the sound of that.” Buffy brushes her cheek over Tara’s shoulder before relaxing even more and slowly falling asleep.

Tara smiles as she hears the deepening breathing of her lover. Trailing her fingers gently through her hair and over her back, Tara places another kiss on her head before closing her eyes. Falling asleep to dreams of what their future may hold.


	18. Epilogue

Five Years Later

Buffy slams into the hospital running full tilt and sliding to a stop, banging into the admittance desk. “Tara Maclay-Summers… Where is she?”

“She’s with the doctor in Delivery room 3…” The nurse states pulling it up before starting to say something else before noticing that the small ball of energy had already disappeared and left a swinging door in her wake. “Are you family?” The nurse finally questions the empty space, shaking her head.

***

Buffy flies up the stairs to the birthing rooms. The two women having decided to have their child in more of a normal setting than the usual clinical delivery rooms. Hurrying down the hallway, Buffy pushes open the door cautiously as she feels the pain and anger coming from her lover.

“GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, SLAYER!” Tara screams her face flushed red as she bears down and pushes, their daughter wanting to be born. 

Buffy whimpers and hurries in, grabbing Tara’s hand and looking down at the Obstetrician as she winks at her. 

“About time you made it. She’s having this baby girl in record time.” Doctor Lane chuckles as she looks at the head already crowning, Tara having only been in labor for a little over two hours.

“She knew she’d better get here, or her ass would be kicked across the country back to that FUCKING CRATER!” Tara screams as another major pain rips through her body. 

Buffy whimpers as Tara’s grip on her hand literally makes her knuckles crack. “Tara, honey, breathe, like we practiced.” Buffy whispers softly, her eyes shadowed as she feels the pain coming from her lover, silently wondering if this is normal.

“Fuck your breathing! Next kid, you’re having!” Tara takes a deep breath and bears down as the next contraction hits.

“Uh, uh.” Buffy mumbles, her eyes wide and face pale as she looks from her lover’s face up to the mirror angled to show their baby’s birth. “She’s got my hair.” Buffy whispers in awe as she watches the head come out and the baby cry while the doctor eases the baby the rest of the way out, cleaning and suctioning the baby’s passages.

Tara whimpers and collapses back against the bed. “Bottled or real?” Tara pants heavily, her eyes looking at her lover.

“Funny.” Buffy grumbles, pressing a quick kiss to her lover’s lips before holding her hands eagerly out for her baby. 

“Hey, grimy paws, clean up first.” The doctor admonishes, tilting her head to the sink, smiling as Buffy takes off like a shot. Working with the New Watcher’s Council was definitely an interesting experience. Getting to know the two women that are now in the birthing room with their daughter a definite learning experience. The un-believability of them having a daughter between them with no donor still boggles her mind, though she knows it shouldn’t. “Here, mama.” 

Tara smiles lovingly at the little pink bundle of joy the doctor hands her. Digging into the blanket, she pulls a little hand out checking all the little fingers before working her way through the other extremities as Buffy stops to cut the umbilical cord. 

“Everything all there?” Buffy questions softly, tilting her head down to brush against Tara’s as she looks at her daughter, smiling.

“All her fingers and toes accounted for, and nothing extra, either.” Tara’s eyes twinkle as she looks at her lover. “You did good, love.”

“We did.” Buffy whispers gently grasping a hand, grinning as their daughter wraps her fingers around her and squeezes firmly. “She’s got a grip on her.”

“She takes after her mommy.” Tara accepts the kiss Buffy places on her lips. “What kept you?”

Buffy sighs and rolls her eyes. “Damn cell phone died.” 

“Died or got crunched?” Tara questions, laughing at the guilty look crossing her lover’s face. “Who found you?”

“Faith. Believe it or not.” Buffy grins at Tara. “Seems she made one of the Coven members do a location spell on where I was after finding out that no one knew where I was and she ran me down. I left her in the dust. She was on the phone calling Willow, Xander and everyone else to let them know you’re here.” Buffy’s gaze turns back to their daughter who’s sleeping quietly. “Jessica Anne Maclay-Summers is sleeping already.” 

Tara feels the tears coming to her eyes as she always does when she thinks about Buffy having insisted on naming their daughter after her mom. Anne being named after Buffy and her own mother, as both had Anne as a middle name. 

“Let us borrow the little bundle of joy to get all the necessities taken care of.” Doctor Lane smiles down at the baby. 

“You behave for the Doctor, Jess.” Buffy whispers softly, brushing her lips over her forehead before gently taking her daughter and handing her to the doctor as she and the nurse slide into the weighing room. Turning back to Tara, Buffy slowly relaxes as she looks down into her lover’s tired eyes. “I never would have believed this would have happened five years ago.” Buffy whispers, gently brushing the sweaty hair from her lover’s cheek. 

“Five years ago, you wouldn’t have believed that the world literally has thousands of slayers patrolling it and working together to control the demon population, either.” Tara smiles softly at her wife, thankful that times have changed and other than when she ran Buffy off when she was being extra grumpy, ‘like tonight’ she silently thinks, with the pregnancy, she always had other slayers to patrol with so nobody normally gets seriously hurt. 

“Nope.” Buffy looks intently at Tara for a few minutes, before leaning in to kiss her softly. “I’m retiring for good, Tara.” Buffy whispers admittedly, watching the surprise and shock crossing Tara’s face. “I would like Jessica to grow up in a normal household, without all the insanity that is our lives. What do you think?” Buffy nibbles on her bottom lip worriedly.

“Oh, love.” Tara wraps her hand around Buffy’s neck and pulls her down to kiss her thoroughly, before releasing her after a few minutes to the quiet cough coming from the nurse bringing Jess back into the room. “Maybe in a couple years Jess can have a baby sister to keep her company then.”

Buffy’s eyes widen in surprise and shock as she accepts their baby, cradling her carefully in her arms. “You were just…” Buffy whimpers quietly.

“Pain of childbirth. After the baby is born, the women usually are fine and forget all about it.” The nurse explains, chuckling at the shocked look on the petite blonde’s face. 

Tara watches as a slow, beautiful smile crosses Buffy’s face as she looks down at their daughter, gently brushing noses with her. Sighing quietly in contentment at the feeling of completeness, Tara relaxes and falls asleep after the strenuous activity of having their daughter. Dreaming of a house filled with laughing girls ranging from anywhere with white-blonde hair to dark brown hair with blue and hazel eyes.

***

The End


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